Big Rock Black Amber Ale

Big Rock Black Amber Ale
Type of beer: Stout
Container Type: 341 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 5.00%
Country of origin: Canada
Rating: 75% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.60
Tasted on: 11/5/09
Colours of label: Black/Gold/Brown
Drank From: Glass
Label Reads: "A labour of love. Matured at ice-cold temperatures, Big Rock beers are aged longer. The result of this process is a smooth, easy drinking beer with a satisfying balance of malt and hop flavours that cannot be duplicated by mass-production. We brew in small batches using traditional methods to produce exceptionally pure beer".
website: www.bigrockbeer.com
Best for: blacking out
Ratings:
Taste: 15/20
Flavour: 15/20
Buy again: 14/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 7/10
Intangible: 8/10
Handwritten notes: Baa, baa Black Amber, have you any toast? This is a heavily roasted beer like a porter or stout. But it has a bit of lightness that I suppose warrants the "amber ale" tag. But not really. Black licorice and coffee grounds abound. It really hits the spot on a brisk fall evening. I've taken a peek in this beer's panties and I can tell you it is not a natural amber.
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Beer #356 of 3,652

Wimer Drifter Pale Ale

Wimer Drifter Pale Ale
Type of beer: Pale Ale
Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 5.73%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 71% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.25
Tasted on: 11/4/09
Colours of label: Blue/Whit/Grey
Drank From: Glass
Label Reads: "Brewers of Quality beers"
website: www.widmer.com

Best for: Being a classy hobo
Ratings:
Taste: 13/20
Flavour: 13/20
Buy again: 15/20
Aroma: 7/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 7/10
Intangible: 8/10
Handwritten notes: This beer is actually quite good. It's not overly hoppy, with the hops being used (as they should be) as an introduction to the "true beer" flavour. Pretty dad-gum good. Maybe if they renamed it "dangerous vagabond pale ale" it would add a bit of class. "Drifter" is a bit too general. But I guess "filthy hobo ale" wouldn't sell as well.
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Beer #355 of 3,652

Big Rock Winter Spice Ale

Big Rock Winter Spice Ale
Type of beer: Ale
Container Type: 341 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 6.00%
Country of origin: Canada
Rating: 65% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $2.25
Tasted on: 11/4/09
Colours of label: Tan/Maroon/Brown

Drank From: Glass
Label Reads: "McNally's Winter Spice Ale is a full-bodied amber ale spiced with cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves, and a hint of ginger. The pale and caramel malts give it a warm, amber colour and at 6% alcohol - this rich, seasonal brew is sure to warm your heart and your cheeks".
website: www.bigrockbeer.com
Best for: warming your cheeks

Ratings:
Taste: 12/20
Flavour: 12/20
Buy again: 12/20
Aroma: 7/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 8/10
Intangible: 7/10
Handwritten notes: This bad boy has a crazy taste of prunes, raisins, dates and other fruitcake delights. I dislike eggnog but this kind of has that classic eggnog taste. One time on New Years eve of 2008 I saw a completely plastered idiot walk into a 7-11 and yell (inappropriately loudly) at the cashier: "Y'G'IGGNOGG!?" I guess that means "do you have any eggnog" in drunk talk. Then I saw him driving away after he got his "IGGNOGG!". This beer is a cacophony of mincemeat and holiday flavours. So much so that I would expect it would be cloudy or murky. This is an ok novelty beer. Try one Christmas morning after Santa leaves you nothing but crippling credit card debt and herpes.
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Beer #354 of 3,652

Sleeman Bock

Sleeman Bock
Type of beer: Bock
Container Type: 341 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 6.0%
Country of origin: Canada
Rating: 73% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.75
Tasted on: 11/3/09
Colours of label: Gold/Silver/Black
Drank From: Mug
Label Reads: "Recipe book pg. 72. Established 1834", " Brewmaster's tasting notes: Rich caramel toffee and malt aromas with a smooth full body. Brewed with Pale and Munich malt and imported Hallertau hops".
website: www.sleeman.com

Best for: Stepping off the rubber too soon
Ratings:
Taste: 14/20
Flavour: 16/20
Buy again: 12/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 7/10
Intangible: 8/10
Handwritten notes: This Bock sports the toffee and caramel flavours it boasts of. However, it's surprisingly light and not at all syrupy. My main beef with other Bocks is that they taste and drink like the icing on a coffee cake. Not this mofo. I generally like what Sleeman's makes, but they often straddle mediocrity by playing it safe. Make a huge flavour that smacks me in the mouth, boys. C'mon, I have it coming.
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Beer #353 of 3,652

Big Sky IPA

Big Sky IPA
Type of beer: India Pale Ale
Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 6.20%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 74% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.25
Tasted on: 11/3/09
Colours of label: Blue/Yellow/Gold
Drank From: HP Glass
Label Reads: "Big Sky Brewing Co., Missoula, Montana".

website: www.bigskybrew.com
Best for: Hunting Big to medium-sized game
Ratings:
Taste: 14/20
Flavour: 15/20
Buy again: 14/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 9/10
Complexity: 6/10
Intangible: 8/10
Handwritten notes: Don't get me wrong, I'm going to miss these citrus mouth bombs. But after a while they blur into a one-note orchestra. I suppose if I try real hard I can taste pineapple too. One time I ate so much prime rib at a buffet that I had nightmares about biting into big blood clots that burst with puss as I ate them. I think the same thing is going to start happening with all of these American IPAs. I'll have a nightmare of a huge grapefruit whose skull I peel back and I drink it's delicious intoxicating brain juice.

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Beer #352 of 3,652

Big Sky Scape Goat Pale Ale

Big Sky Scape Goat Pale Ale
Type of beer: Pale Ale
Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 4.70%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 77% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.25
Tasted on: 11/3/09
Colours of label: Blue/White/Orange
Drank From: Mug
Label Reads: "Big Sky Brewing Co., Missoula, Montana".
website: www.bigskybrew.com
Best for: eating old tin cans
Ratings:
Taste: 15/20
Flavour: 14/20
Buy again: 17/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 7/10
Intangible: 8/10

Handwritten notes: I love things that are cleverly named. Half Pints "Weizen Heimer" is an hilarious name. But this name I don't get. I like this beer, though. Maybe I've had a long day, but the grapefruit is subdued, the body is nice and minerally, and smooth. It has almost the feel of an English Ale. What the fuck does "mouthfeel" mean? I hear it a lot but (besides being an evocative phrase) is meaningless. How about these descriptors instead:

1. "throat punch" - bitterness

2. "liver smile" - lower ABV

3. "Eye shiatzu" - appearance

4. "nose likey" - aroma.

Huh? Huh? Uh.

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Beer #351 of 3,652

Flying Dog Tire Bite Golden Ale

Flying Dog Tire Bite Golden Ale
Type of beer: Kölsch
Container Type: 355 mL bottle

Alcohol by volume: 5.0%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 52% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.25
Tasted on: 11/2/09
Colours of label: Green/Red/White
Drank From: GW Glass
Label Reads: "Know how to spot a stupid dog? Just look for the one biting the tire of the car that’s running over it. Know how to spot a smart one? He’ll be lapping up our refreshing Golden Ale. This perfect warm-weather beer goes down so easy, you’ll be lifting your leg all over town. Smart dog."
website: www.flyingdogales.com
Best for: Being funny. Not "ha ha" funny, but, like Robin Williams funny.
Ratings:
Taste: 11/20
Flavour: 11/20
Buy again: 12/20
Aroma: 4/10
Satisfaction: 3/10
Complexity: 4/10
Intangible: 5/10
Handwritten notes: This is an American take on the German lager. I guess that's what Kölsch means. It has a light honey taste but little or much else. I can appreciate the attempt at crafting a Kölsch, but there are several subtleties to the genre, you can't just throw a bunch of cadaver parts together, slap a suit jacket on it, and call it a human being. Gee whiz.

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Beer #350 of 3,652

Half Pints Oktoberfest

Half Pints Octoberfest
Type of beer: Märzen
Container Type: 341 mL bottle

Alcohol by volume: 6.2%
Country of origin: Canada
Rating: 77% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $3.00
Tasted on: 11/2/09
Colours of label: Brown/Orange/Red
Drank From: HP Glass
Label Reads: "toasty German malts with a flowery hop aroma", " 22 IBU".
website: www.halfpintsbrewing.com
Best for: Err... early November?
Ratings:
Taste: 14/20
Flavour: 16/20
Buy again: 16/20
Aroma: 7/10
Satisfaction: 9/10
Complexity: 8/10
Intangible: 7/10
Handwritten notes: I had this sumbitch in my fridge for a while, waiting for a special occasion. Then I realized October had come and gone, so that was the occasion. A very bread-doughy smell, or the smell of my old man making toast at 6:30 in the morning. Why did he have to get up so early? The taste of this beer is that which I've come to understand as the Märzen style. I had not tried, in any of my 31 summers, beer of this type until last month. Like any genre, there are good and bad variants. This one works well, though differently from the Sam Adams Octoberfest which I liked. This particular beer has a noticeable tang of alcohol at the end that ramps up the sour, butter-nut squash and decaying produce flavour. Ga-ja!
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Beer #349 of 3,652

Minhas Lime

Minhas Lime
Type of beer: Light Lager
Container Type: 355 mL can
Alcohol by volume: 4.0%
Country of origin: Canada
Rating: 1% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.25
Tasted on: 11/1/09
Colours of label: Grey/Green/Red

Drank From: Wee glass
Label Reads: "Light beer with added lime flavours"
website: www.damngoodbeer.ca
Best for: planning a mass murder
Ratings:
Taste: 0/20
Flavour: 0/20
Buy again: 0/20
Aroma: 0/10
Satisfaction: 0/10
Complexity: 0/10
Intangible: 1/10
Handwritten notes: 1 point because I gave fucking Bud Light Lime one point. To be human is to quest for knowledge. I hope to one day understand quantum physics better than I already do. But I do not, ever, want to understand what stupid fucking G.D. moron thought lime beer was a good idea, nor do I ever want to understand what goes through the mind of a sonofabitch rat bastard who buys lime beer. Ignorance is bliss, boys, ignorance is bliss.
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Beer #348 of 3,652

Olympia

Olympia
Type of beer: Lager
Container Type: 355 mL can
Alcohol by volume: 5.0%
Country of origin: United States/Canada
Rating: 6% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.25
Tasted on: 11/1/09
Colours of label: White/Blue/Yellow
Drank From: Glass
Label Reads: "It's the water"

website: www.olympia-beer.com/
Best for: Bowling
Ratings:
Taste: 1/20
Flavour: 1/20
Buy again: 1/20
Aroma: 1/10
Satisfaction: 2/10
Complexity: 0/10
Intangible: 0/10
Handwritten notes: If you've even left crappy beer open and sitting out overnight, you've had this beer. Or, if you've ever had one too many, and you open that last beer only to realize that it was a bad idea, but you're too cheap (or poor) to dump it so you put in back in the fridge thinking "this is the time it will sit in the fridge overnight and won't taste like old onions and feta cheese", and then you get up the next day and you're hung over singing "Sunday Morning Comin' Down" by Johnny Cash and you pull the open, cheap beer our of the fridge hoping to hell your hangover will fuck off. Aahh, Olympia. I once knew a dude who loved Olympia. He was one of those working stiff types who had a series of jobs which always involved lifting something or sweeping something. That's all I have to say about Olympia.
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Beer #347 of 3,652

Samuel Adams Octoberfest

Samuel Adams Octoberfest
Type of beer: Märzen

Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 5.70%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 70% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.15
Tasted on: 10/31/09
Colours of label: Orange/Blue/Yellow
Drank From: HP Glass
Label Reads: "Seasonal brew. We brew Samuel Adams Octoberfest to celebrate the arrival of autumn. This hearty lager is rich... with a blend of five malts, carefully balanced with hand-selected noble hops. Samuel Adams Octoberfest is a classic beer style brewed in the finest American tradition. Cheers!"

website: www.samadams.com
Best for: licking your chops

Ratings:
Taste: 13/20
Flavour: 15/20
Buy again: 12/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 8/10
Intangible: 6/10
Handwritten notes: These Oktoberfest beers sport the sort of rotty-sour flavour like the musk of fallen autumn leaves. There is also a nice oakiness to this beer (almost like an Innis & Gunn). This is a perfect illustration of the genre. However, it is still not my favourite style. Do you like fall? Hellz yeah. Do you like beer? Yessa. Do you like Oktoberfest? Pfffff... not so much.

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Beer #346 of 3,652

Big Sky Montana Trout Slayer Ale

Big Sky Montana Trout Slayer Ale
Type of beer: Pale Ale
Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 4.70%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 79% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.25
Tasted on: 10/31/09
Colours of label: Blue/Red/White
Drank From: Glass
Label Reads: n/a
website: www.bigskybrew.com

Best for: campaigning for PETA
Ratings:
Taste: 15/20
Flavour: 17/20
Buy again: 17/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 6/10
Intangible: 8/10
Handwritten notes: Is this another fishbine? No. I am personally a fan of trout, and I am also a fan of Slayer. This beer has a nice bitter hop taste, clean as hell with a malty fullness. This beer tastes better as it warms, as any truly good beer should. In real life I've been to Montana just once and caught a fish just once. But I would drink this beer over and over and dream of Montana while eating can after can of tuna.

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Beer #345 of 3,652

Bell's Kalamazoo Stout

Bell's Kalamazoo Stout
Type of beer: Stout
Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 6.00%
Country of origin: United States

Rating: 77% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.25
Tasted on: 10/31/09
Colours of label: Tan/Blue/Black
Drank From: Glass
Label Reads: "Stout brewed with brewer's licorice", "Here's where we tell you about this full-bodied stout's delicious roast flavor. But really, you've already got the bottle in your hand so why not find out for yourself?"
website: www.bellsbeer.com
Best for: Tricker Treating
Ratings:
Taste: 15/20
Flavour: 15/20
Buy again: 16/20
Aroma: 7/10
Satisfaction: 9/10
Complexity: 8/10
Intangible: 7/10
Handwritten notes: Licorice abounds. (Note: I do not read the labels of beers while I'm drinking them. It is usually not until I'm writing these friggin' things that I actually see what they have to say. I did not know there was "brewer's licorice" in this beer). It is as satisfying as becoming an independent human being. Fall is here, the tang of hatred and cold are in the air, and stout eases them both into a flush-faced remedy to life's little annoyances. Good.

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Beer #344 of 3,652

Sierra Nevada ESB

Sierra Nevada ESB (Early Spring Beer)
Type of beer: ESB
Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 5.90%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 72% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.25

Tasted on: 10/30/09
Colours of label: Green/Brown/Yellow
Drank From: Glass
Label Reads: "Our ESB combines the best of English tradition with West Coast style. A blend of malts featuring British-grown Maris Otter is balanced with the earthy spiciness of hand-selected English and US hops. The ale is left unfiltered, which enhances mouthfeel and hop aroma creating a slightly reddish-copper hue."
website: www.sierranevada.com
Best for: Flying high

Ratings:
Taste: 15/20
Flavour: 16/20
Buy again: 14/20
Aroma: 7/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 7/10
Intangible: 6/10
Handwritten notes: ESB = Extra Special Bitter or Early Spring Beer? Very clever, Sierra Nevada. The taste of this beer is cloudy and pillowy. It eases you into life through the bitter hops of birth. After that, and despite its ABV, it's a pleasing and refreshing beer. It must be early spring in Australia right now, so to all you friggin' Aussies, happy ESB. And what's the deal with all of your crazy animals? Koalas? Kangaroos? Duck-billed platypi?? Your region of the world is like the freak-show part of the county fair.

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Beer #343 of 3,652

Grain Belt Premium

Grain Belt Premium
Type of beer: Lager
Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 4.60%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 28% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.00
Tasted on: 10/30/09
Colours of label: Gold/Red/Silver

Drank From: Tall ass glass
Label Reads: "The beer of exceptional quality", "The unique Grain Belt bottle cap neon sign, in downtown Minneapolis, is 40' x 40' and was constructed in the 1940's"
website: www.grainbelt.com/
Best for: tailgating
Ratings:
Taste: 6/20
Flavour: 3/20
Buy again: 10/20
Aroma: 3/10
Satisfaction: 2/10
Complexity: 2/10
Intangible: 2/10
Handwritten notes: If this ain't Leinie Sunset Wheat I'll punch myself in the sternum. It's Sunset Wheat and a gallon of water. I first had Grain Belt Premium at a St. Paul Saints game in 1998. I bought it from "Wally the Beerman". I love that man. He gives new meaning to the words "heeey, here we go cold beer peanuts!". The beer was a watery, honey piece of work then, and it's the same now. It's better than macro-macro, but worse than motor oil.
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Beer #342 of 3,652

Leinenkugel Creamy Dark

Leinenkugel Creamy Dark
Type of beer: Dark Lager
Container Type: 355 mL bottle

Alcohol by volume: 4.90%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 55% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.15
Tasted on: 10/29/09
Colours of label: Green/Yellow/Red
Drank From: Mug
Label Reads: "Lager with a unique blend of barley malts, cluster, cascade and Mt. Hood hops." "Brewed with pride by the Leinenkugel family since 1867", "Carefully brewed by the Leinenkugel family for five generations", "The pride of Chippewa Falls, Wisconsin since 1867".

website: www.leinie.com

Best for: listening to "Ebony and Ivory"
Ratings:
Taste: 11/20
Flavour: 10/20
Buy again: 11/20
Aroma: 6/10
Satisfaction: 7/10
Complexity: 5/10
Intangible: 5/10
Handwritten notes: Dark? Yes. Creamy? Perhaps. This is a coffee-like creamy lager, good for a Wednesday night. I'm sitting here, trying my best not to slander Leinekenkugel. I'm waiting for a bold flavour in one of their beers. But, instead it's like: "oh, the flavour is not bold because it's creamy". C'mon guys, W.W.J.D.? (What would Jacob (Leinenkugel) do?).
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Beer #341 of 3,652

New Belgium Skinny Dip

New Belgium Skinny Dip
Type of beer: Ale
Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 4.20%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 43% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st

Cost: $1.00
Tasted on: 10/29/09
Colours of label: Yellow/Red/Green
Drank From: Red Man
Label Reads: "You can drop everything for New Belgium's Skinny Dip, a full-bodied beer that's designed for the summer dress code. Cascade hops frolic with a splash of kaffir lime leaf creating a bright, citrusy palate that's as crisp as chilling in a mountain pond."
website: www.newbelgium.com
Best for: when shlong meets pond
Ratings:
Taste: 6/20
Flavour: 7/20
Buy again: 7/20
Aroma: 6/10
Satisfaction: 5/10
Complexity: 7/10
Intangible: 5/10
Handwritten notes: This beer tastes like a fizzy piece of carpet. I often write these reviews and feel a level of remorse. Even so, I remain true to the moment and this beer tastes like dust. It's like if you just had to empty out the vacuum canister and all the dust wafted up into your sinus cavity and then you drank an old Mil. While I am almost always a fan of getting "neked", be it streaking, prostate exam, or otherwise, this beer falls flat.

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Beer #340 of 3,652

Widmer Brothers Oktō

Widmer Brothers Oktō
Type of beer: Altbier
Container Type: 335 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 5.00%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 71% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.25

Tasted on: 10/28/09
Colours of label: Blue/Orange/Red
Drank From: GW Glass
Label Reads: "Munich Style Ale".
website: www.widmer.com
Best for: Getting Blottō
Ratings:
Taste: 13/20
Flavour: 15/20
Buy again: 14/20
Aroma: 7/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 7/10
Intangible: 7/10
Handwritten notes: Oh, is that a long "O"? A malt and stinging alcohol beer. Despite that this beers fronts as an Oktoberfest, Beer Advocate calls it an Altbier. Which, I guess is different that an Sopranbier or Tenbier. This beer tastes like a sour old beer that's past its prime, but that sounds worse than it is. It is actually quite good. Do I taste pretzels? A baked bready-goodness abounds. I often make ho-made soft pretzels and this beer would be a beautiful accompaniment.
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Beer #339 of 3,652

New Belgium Hoptober Golden Ale

New Belgium Hoptober Golden Ale
Type of beer: Ale
Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 6.00%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 74% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.00
Tasted on: 10/28/09

Colours of label: Red/Brown/Green
Drank From: Glass
Label Reads: "Five hops and four malts make Hoptober Golden Ale a veritable cornucopia of the earth. Pale and wheat malt are mashed with rye and oats to create a medium-bodied ale with a creamy mouthfeel. Centennial, Cascade, Sterling, Willamette, and Glacier hops form a bonfire of citrus notes, fruity cheers and a bold finale".
website: www.newbelgium.com
Best for: Rocktober (Or Rock-vember)

Ratings:
Taste: 15/20
Flavour: 15/20
Buy again: 15/20
Aroma: 7/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 7/10
Intangible: 7/10
Handwritten notes: This beer sports a disappearing hop flavour, leaving a cleaner flavour than the "lingering" hop beers. The bitter hops wash away leaving a honey-suckle finish. This beer is professional tasting. Like if it was a human being it would be wearing a neatly pressed suit, its hair combed impeccably to the right, with its white teeth flashing in the noontime sunlight.
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Beer #338 of 3,652

Avery 14'er ESB

Avery 14'er ESB
Type of beer: ESB
Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 5.13%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 74% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.25

Tasted on: 10/27/09
Colours of label: Blue/Yellow/Black
Drank From: Mug
Label Reads: "Big peaks and big brews - thankfully Colorado has an abundance of both. This copper-hued wonderfully happy ale is as beautiful and complex as the fifty-four 14,000 foot mountains for which it is named - 14'Er Extra Special Bitter. Take a hike! Brewed with Rocky Mountain Water, malted barley, hops and yeast."
website: www.averybrewing.com

Best for: Yodeling
Ratings:
Taste: 14/20
Flavour: 15/20
Buy again: 14/20
Aroma: 7/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 7/10
Intangible: 8/10
Handwritten notes: ESB you say? Extra Special is it? Well, this time you're right. This tastes kind of like a good version of the "Oktoberfest" beers I've been swamped with recently. There is a sour and fruity sort of decay on this one that plays off the citrussy hop flavour. This beer tastes like it came from a cellar somewhere. It's very strange, unique, and a very good kisser.
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Beer #337 of 3,652

Samuel Adams Cherry Wheat

Samuel Adams Cherry Wheat
Type of beer: Wheat Ale
Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 5.20%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 21% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.25
Tasted on: 10/27/09
Colours of label: Red/Yellow/Brown

Drank From: Margarita Glass
Label Reads: "Celebrating a centuries old American tradition of brewing with native ingredients, Samuel Adams Cherry Wheat combines Michigan cherries with a generous portions of wheat malt to produce a bright, lively ale with a crisp finish. Cheers!"

website: www.samadams.com
Best for: Playing second base
Ratings:
Taste: 3/20
Flavour: 4/20
Buy again: 2/20
Aroma: 5/10
Satisfaction: 4/10
Complexity: 1/10
Intangible: 2/10
Handwritten notes: Ugh. Any of you who have had Skoal Cherry will know exactly what this beer tastes like. I'm not saying I haven't had my fair share of vitamin "S". I was a ballplayer, in my leaner and younger days. In a weird way this beer also tastes like Cherry Chapstick. You know how it smells good, then you wipe some on your lips and can't help but taste it? Then when you do it's just flavourless wax? That's this beer.

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Beer #336 of 3,652

Bell's Octoberfest

Bell's Octoberfest
Type of beer: Märzen
Container Type: 335 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 5.50%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 61% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.25
Tasted on: 10/26/09
Colours of label: Orange/Yellow/Black
Drank From: Mug

Label Reads: "Fall is my favorite time to drink beer. The weather turns cooler, there's a bounty of foods, and beer just seems to taste better. I hope you enjoy this traditional beer as much as I do. Prosit!'

website: www.bellsbeer.com/
Best for: Falling down
Ratings:
Taste: 12/20
Flavour: 12/20
Buy again: 11/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 7/10
Complexity: 5/10
Intangible: 6/10
Handwritten notes: The Oktoberfest parade continues. I'm still not sure about this genre, but it does fit the season. Instead of a nice crisp, clean, fresh tasting beer indicative of spring's sweet foreplay, we have the post coital Oktoberfest with its pungent smell and taste of decay. There is no mystery or intrigue with Oktoberfest. It just lays there, smoking a menthol and checking its watch.

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Beer #335 of 3,652

Boulder Brewing Hazed and Infused

Boulder Brewing Hazed and Infused
Type of beer: Pale Ale
Container Type: 335 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 4.85%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 81% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.25
Tasted on: 10/26/09
Colours of label: Blue/Yellow/Green
Drank From: HP Glass

Label Reads: "Take a trip through the Looking Glass to discover a whole new world of ales from the brewers at Boulder Beer Company, makers of Singletrack, Buffalo Gold and the Boulder Beer family. Introducing Hazed & Infused, the first release in the Looking Glass Series of specialty beers. This unfiltered dry-hopped ale is "hazed" in its natural state and "infused" with Crystal and Centennial hops, creating a flavorful aromatic brew you have to taste to believe."
website: www.boulderbeer.com
Best for: oooh yeah! ooooooh yeah!
Ratings:
Taste: 15/20
Flavour: 16/20
Buy again: 17/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 9/10
Intangible: 8/10
Handwritten notes: This beer has something over and above a punch in the grapefruits. There is a strange and trippy caramelly complexity to this that my taste buds pursue but can never catch. I think Led Zeppelin's first album is pure genius, but have you ever thought about the lyrics to Dazed and Confused? If you just read them (without hearing the music) you would think it was written by a ten year old with ADD. But the song rocks because it's all in the delivery. Just like Neil Young's "Down by the River" - in the solo he plays one note 38 straight times (I counted) but it's perfect. I've gone off the tracks here-- this beer is well worth hunting down cracking open to the nonsensical wailings of one Robert Plant and the mono-tonical strums of Mr. Young.
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Beer #335 of 3,652

Hop Hound Amber Ale

Hop Hound Amber Wheat
Type of beer: 355 mL bottle
Container Type: Pale Ale
Alcohol by volume: 5.30%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 15% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.25
Tasted on: 10/25/09
Colours of label: Red/Yellow/Gold
Drank From: Glass
Label Reads: "Unfiltered American amber wheat ale brewed with a blend of imported and domestic hops for a balanced, slightly citrus hop aroma and caramel, malty taste".
website: http://www.anheuser-busch.com/

Best for: putting a ribbon on your prize pig
Ratings:
Taste: 3/20
Flavour: 2/20
Buy again: 2/20
Aroma: 2/10
Satisfaction: 3/10
Complexity: 2/10
Intangible: 1/10
Handwritten notes: Yuck. Is this gluten-free? Something's missing. As I took a sip my face contorted into the mug of a five year old eating Brussels sprouts for the first time. Personally, I love Brussels sprouts, but this beer is sick. It tastes like crap beer with a bunch of sugar and bran flakes added to it. This is the first Michelob product I have ever had in my life. Good God, America, I am so sorry. I am so sorry you have to deal with this garbage. I imagine this beer is what rednecks buy when they win ten bucks on a scratch and win and want to "spoil themselves".

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Beer #334 of 3,652

Boulder Brewing Mojo IPA

Boulder Brewing Mojo IPA
Type of beer: IPA
Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 7.00%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 75% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.25
Tasted on: 10/25/09
Colours of label: Orange/Yellow/Purple

Drank From: Glass
Label Reads: "Mo-Jo: 1: A magic spell or charm; magical power; 2. Herbaceous ale that summons hop attacks. Our journey through the Looking Glass takes a sharp turn beyond the traditional IPA . . . big, bold and fearless. Light in color with intense hop aroma, MoJo’s “mojo” lies in the power of the Amarillo hops. Fresh and crisp with a slight citrus finish, this brew has become a staff favorite."
website: www.boulderbeer.com
Best for: getting your black cat bone
Ratings:
Taste: 15/20
Flavour: 16/20
Buy again: 16/20
Aroma: 7/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 7/10
Intangible: 6/10
Handwritten notes: To put it "old skool": Grape to the fruit to the grapetty-fruit. Grip-grop-grippity froo! I can't imagine that there is anything about this beer that would set it apart from the overwhelming flood of grapefruit IPAs coming out of the U.S. of A. It's good. Sure. Are we experiencing a golden age, a renaissance of beer, so to speak? What was once revolutionary is now commonplace. Makes ya think.

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Beer #333 of 3,652

Goose Island 312 Urban Wheat Ale

Goose Island 312 Urban Wheat Ale
Type of beer: Wheat Ale
Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 4.20%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 79% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st

Cost: $1.25
Tasted on: 10/24/09
Colours of label: Yellow/Black/Orange
Drank From: Glass
Label Reads: "Serve 312 in a tall glass".
website: www.gooseisland.com
Best for: Revelations. Or Leviticus.
Ratings:
Taste: 15/20
Flavour: 16/20
Buy again: 16/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 7/10
Complexity: 8/10
Intangible: 9/10
Handwritten notes: Here it is, a gloomy fall day and I'm drinking a wheat beer. However, it's a very good wheat beer. A tenor-like lemony taste with the reserved taste of American hops (very reserved) playing perfect alto in the symphony of flavour. Narrative from a balcony: The trees stand bare under grey skies. A nervous homeowner furiously rakes leaves into piles. "daaaady, it's supper tiiiime!" a little girl's voice shouts from a cracked-open front door. A bus roars by, spewing its ash-coloured smoke into concrete sky. The man disregards his daughter's plea and the sound of a metal rake on cold-hardened ground once again echoes through the air. Cigar smoke wafts into my eyes, which (through watered gaze) espy the withered and dead remnants of my tomato and pepper plants (taken prematurely by early frost). The homeowner's automatic garage door lowers with a mechanical thunk. Hallelujah, fall is here.

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Beer #332 of 3,652

Flying Dog Doggie Style Pale Ale

Flying Dog Doggie Style Pale Ale
Type of beer: Pale Ale
Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 5.50%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 77% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.25
Tasted on: 10/24/09

Colours of label: Blue/White/Brown
Drank From: Glass
Label Reads: "Dogs have it figured out. They sleep all day, lick themselves and eat everything but veggies.... Be like the more enlightened species in your house by sipping this classic Pale Ale with its perfect balance of smooth malt and crisp hops. It's so good, you'll want to lap it up like your hound laps up toilet water."
website: www.flyingdogales.com
Best for: Rolling down the street, smoking menthols, sipping on Flying Dog... bee-otch!
Ratings:
Taste: 14/20
Flavour: 15/20
Buy again: 18/20
Aroma: 7/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 7/10
Intangible: 8/10
Handwritten notes: With so much drama in the W.P.G. it's kinda hard being B-A-R-double-D. But I some how, some way, keep coming up with funky ass reviews like every single day. Is this beer the shiznit? Perhaps not, but it is a damn fine pale ale. It's not overpowering with the bitterness but has a nice linger afterwords. Maybe in nine-trizzay this beer would have been revolutionary. Now, I don't want to say it's pedestrian, but it fits the bill in terms of pale ale. It would be a perfect as an everyday beer. So go out and trizzy it before you find yourself flat on your bizzack.
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Beer #331 of 3,652

Leineken Oktoberfest

Leinenkugel's Oktoberfest
Type of beer: Märzen
Container Type: 335 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 5.10%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 20% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st

Cost: $1.15
Tasted on: 10/23/09
Colours of label: Gold/Red/Yellow
Drank From: Glass
Label Reads: "A perfect beer to celebrate the fall season. Featuring Munich, Pale & Caramel Malts. With four specialty hops. Brewed with pride by the Leinenkugel family since 1867", "German-style Märzen", "Carefully brewed by the Leinenkugel family for five generations", "The pride of Chippewa Falls, Wisconsin since 1867".
website: www.leinie.com
Best for: balling up your socks

Ratings:
Taste: 4/20
Flavour: 3/20
Buy again: 4/20
Aroma: 2/10
Satisfaction: 5/10
Complexity: 1/10
Intangible: 1/10
Handwritten notes: Oktopussy galore. A flat and useless form of the Oktoberfest or Märzen genre. From this beer I can't see the appeal. It tastes like a Canadian macro only with less flavour. No, that's not true. It has flavour, but it's a piss-like flavour with no depth. Like a Canadian macro some dude left in his pantry for three years waiting for someone to come over so he could offer them a beer. Then when one of his friends finally comes over, all he has to offer is a crappy, warm, expired beer. I have one Leinie left to review, and hopefully Leinenkugel can redeem itself after this poor showing.
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Beer #330 of 3,652

Red Bridge Gluten-Free Beer

Red Bridge Gluten-Free Beer
Type of beer: Red Lager
Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 4.80%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 8% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.25
Tasted on: 10/23/09
Colours of label: Red/Tan/Black
Drank From: Glass
Label Reads: "Gluten free beer. Made without wheat or barley".
website: www.anheuser-busch.com
Best for: blasting your glutes

Ratings:
Taste: 0/20
Flavour: 1/20
Buy again: 0/20
Aroma: 2/10
Satisfaction: 1/10
Complexity: 2/10
Intangible: 2/10
Handwritten notes: This tastes like some sort of citrus soda - but not "beer citrus", like Lime Crush fake citrus. It's a sour trumpet blast trying to cover up the disgusting "beer extract" taste beneath. It's like spraying Lysol into a car trunk where a dead body has been rotting for weeks. It's not gonna work.

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Beer #329 of 3,652

Coors

Coors
Type of beer: Lager
Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 5.00 %
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 35% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.00

Tasted on: 10/22/09
Colours of label: Yellow/White/Navy
Drank From: Mug
Label Reads: The Legend since 1873", "Banquet", "A brand that has stood the test of time - Brewed with 100% Rocky Mountain water for a legendary taste." "When the mountains turn blue it's as cold as the Rockies!"
website: www.coors.com
Best for: playing it old skool
Ratings:
Taste: 7/20
Flavour: 7/20
Buy again: 9/20
Aroma: 2/10
Satisfaction: 5/10
Complexity: 2/10
Intangible: 3/10
Handwritten notes: To my American brethren, there are a few commonplace US beers that are not sold in Canada: Miller Lite, Coors (original), and anything by Michelob, for example. That's my excuse for never having tried Coors before. It tasted like a Canadian macro, only more watery. Really, though, the more I try it, the more it tastes like a pseudo-craft beer trying its best.
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Beer #328 of 3,652

Bell's Amber Ale

Bell's Amber Ale
Type of beer: Ale
Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 5.50%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 76% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.25
Tasted on: 10/22/09

Colours of label: Maroon/Tan/White
Drank From: Mug
Label Reads: "You hold in your hand the Flagship of the Bell's family, Amber Ale. A unique copper ale crafted from mostly pale malts for a rich sweet flavor unlike any other."
website: www.bellsbeer.com
Best for: Ringin' them bells
Ratings:
Taste: 13/20
Flavour: 15/20
Buy again: 15/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 9/10
Intangible: 8/10
Handwritten notes: The first words I spoke to myself after sipping this beer were "it's actually quite floral". It is, but that's no reason to talk to yourself in a pretentious tone. I have actually heard that talking to yourself is a sign of good mental heath. I care as much about mental health as I do dental health, and I've never flossed in my life. The beer itself is less snobby than that, winding through unknown (or unfamiliar) fruity and flowery countryside. I do like uniqueness, and this 'un has it.
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Beer #327 of 3,652

Flying Dog Gonzo Imperial Porter

Flying Dog Gonzo Imperial Porter
Type of beer: Porter
Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 9.80%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 78% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.25
Tasted on: 10/21/09
Colours of label: Blue/Brown/Black
Drank From: HP Glass

Label Reads: “Dark, malty and mysterious, this beer is as complex as the man it celebrates. Brewed to honor the life of Hunter S. Thompson, Gonzo Imperial Porter is an assault on your taste buds with just the right amount of irreverence thrown in.”
website: www.flyingdogales.com
Best for: raping the dead
Ratings:
Taste: 14/20
Flavour: 15/20
Buy again: 15/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 10/10
Complexity: 8/10
Intangible: 8/10
Handwritten notes: All I know about Hunter S. has been gleaned from Bill Murray and Johnny Depp. I don't really get it - he as a lunatic who was incoherent and took a lot of drugs. So did Chaz Manson but no one outside of 12-year-olds with down syndrome and Axl Rose think he's a hero. I reckon the mystique that surrounds this dude surpasses anything he actually accomplished. Anyways, back to the beer. The taste is fantesticle - a sort of POW! SNAKT!! Campy Batman moment with the first sip. The taste is of a deep roast and liquor. It has a full as fuck, very sherry-like flavour. This beer is outrageous and I would only recommend it on an empty stomach and a mind full of negative thoughts.

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Beer #326 of 3,652

Samuel Adams Irish Red

Samuel Adams Irish Red
Type of beer: Ale
Container Type: 335 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 5.5%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 79% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.15
Tasted on: 10/21/09
Colours of label: Green/Red/Yellow
Drank From: Glass
Label Reads: "This rich and malty ale originated in Ireland in 1710. It has a deep red color and distinctive caramel flavor from its Pale and Caramel malts. The malt sweetness is balanced by the earthy notes of East Kent Goldings hops. Cheers!"
website: www.samadams.com
Best for: staring down a squirrel
Ratings:
Taste: 15/20
Flavour: 16/20
Buy again: 17/20
Aroma: 9/10
Satisfaction: 7/10
Complexity: 7/10
Intangible: 8/10
Handwritten notes: Something about the smell of this beer made me thirsty. There it is, boys, a good red ale. Not hoppy, not sweet, just a nice balance with a sort of sour tang like a Vienna Lager. Vienna, Ireland - same thing, right? This I like. The real selling point for me was that the beer has an original taste. I meant to sit down and dig into the same old "Red Beer" horse hockey. Instead, I'm surprised.
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Beer #325 of 3,652

Avery India Pale Ale

Avery India Pale Ale
Type of beer: IPA
Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 6.30%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 79% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.25
Tasted on: 10/22/09
Colours of label: Grey/Yellow/Black
Drank From: Glass
Label Reads: "Yeah, it is!"
website: www.averybrewing.com
Best for: Currying favour

Ratings:
Taste: 15/20
Flavour: 16/20
Buy again: 17/20
Aroma: 7/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 6/10
Intangible: 8/10
Handwritten notes: Ah, grapefruit. This particular pink IPA is more bitter than most, which is just fine by the old Bard-er. There is no sweet backer to this puppy, it's 100% bitter. That's groovalicious by me, and it works. This whole American India Pale Ale business is here to stay, I guess. I'm surprised that some company has not banked on the obvious and made like a "Navajo Double American Indian Pale Ale" or something.
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Beer #324 of 3,652

Redhook Long Hammer India Pale Ale

Long Hammer India Pale Ale
Type of beer: IPA
Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 6.5%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 71% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.25
Tasted on: 10/21/09
Colours of label: Green/Blue/White

Drank From: Mug
Label Reads: "Liquid goodness since 1982".
website: www.redhook.com
Best for: Pickling your gherkin
Ratings:
Taste: 14/20
Flavour: 13/20
Buy again: 15/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 6/10
Intangible: 7/10
Handwritten notes: I enjoy a good innuendo about as much as I enjoy slapstick humour. Both appeal to some primal instinct. You can gussy this beer up as much as you want with fancy bottles and shlong references, but it's still a mouthful of grapefruit with no standout qualities.

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Beer #323 of 3,652

Leinenkugel's Red Lager

Leinenkugel's Red Lager
Type of beer: Lager
Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 4.90%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 58% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.15
Tasted on: 10/20/09

Colours of label: Red/Gold/White
Drank From: Mug
Label Reads: "Lager with four varieties of specialty barley malts hand-selected cluster and mount hood hops", "Brewed with pride by the Leinenkugel family since 1867", "Carefully brewed by the Leinenkugel family for five generations", "The pride of Chippewa Falls, Wisconsin since 1867".
website: www.leinie.com
Best for: renewing your passport
Ratings:
Taste: 10/20
Flavour: 11/20
Buy again: 12/20
Aroma: 7/10
Satisfaction: 7/10
Complexity: 6/10
Intangible: 5/10
Handwritten notes: The fellows from Leineken will find and kill me some day, mark my words. This beer is a clone of Rickard's Red, being a generic tasting macro with little or no life in its sun burnt body. It would be good as a change of pace, if you are completely tired of good beer. Don't worry, Leineken family, I'll get mine. And when I do, I guess I'll have four generations of ghosts to fight in hell.

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Beer #322 of 3,652

Boulder Mojo Risin Double IPA

Boulder Mojo Risin' Double IPA
Type of beer: IPA
Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 10.0%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 80% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $2.00
Tasted on: 10/19/09
Colours of label: Blue/Orange/Yellow
Drank From: Glass

Label Reads: " In a moment of creative chaos, our brewers at Boulder Beer Company decided to take our hopalicious MoJo India Pale Ale to the next level. The Result - MoJo Risin' Double IPA, a souped-up, extreme version of the one and only MoJo IPA. We added more than half a ton of extra malt and twice the amount of Amarillo hops, so be prepared for a full sensory explosion. The double dry-hop addition elevates the grapefruit-like aroma and flavor to an outrageous intensity, while the added malt raises the alcohol level to 10% by volume. And if you say you never loved it, we'll know you are a liar! This limited edition, single batch brew of MoJo Risin' Double IPA is the 6th Release in our Looking Glass Series of specialty beers. Discover all our award-winning beers at BoulderBeer.com. "

website: www.boulderbeer.com
Best for: Chim-chim-cheroo!
Ratings:
Taste: 16/20
Flavour: 16/20
Buy again: 14/20
Aroma: 7/10
Satisfaction: 10/10
Complexity: 8/10
Intangible: 9/10

Handwritten notes: Ow, that hurt. Right in the mouth. The high ABV leaves a sweet skid mark down your throat. But I feel like that distracts from what should be a persistent and overpowering bitterness. No, you know what? It's just right. A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down but I'm a full grown man who has never been molested by a chimney sweep. Sorry, Dick Van Dyke, if that is your real name. What was it I was trying to say? Ah yeah, how come most of the top rated beers are high ABV (be it Beer Advocate, or elsewhere)? Because the medium is the message and you can't review it without drinking it, and you can't drink it without a fuzzy happiness descending upon you. Whoo.

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Beer #321 of 3,652

Boulevard Single Wide IPA

Boulevard Single Wide IPA
Type of beer: India Pale Ale
Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 5.70%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 68% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.25
Tasted on: 10/20/09
Colours of label: Blue/Green/Yellow
Drank From: Red Man Mug

Label Reads: "In time-honored brewing tradition, we’ve added a small amount of yeast to this ale just before packaging to produce a secondary fermentation in the bottle. The yeast, which settles naturally to the bottom of the bottle, encourages further maturation and contributes to the ale’s complex flavor."

website: www.blvdbeer.com
Best for: living up to your expectations
Ratings:
Taste: 13/20
Flavour: 12/20
Buy again: 15/20
Aroma: 7/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 6/10
Intangible: 7/10

Handwritten notes: I like this beer, but I've come to expect more from my libations than a simple fishbine-like glass of unsweetened grapefruit juice. This is somewhere between ultra bitter and kind of sweet, and it was exactly what I knew it would be. It's good and, hell yeah, I'd drink it again. But I would not shiver in anticipation waiting for the first sip. Maybe I need to go to prison for a bit to appreciate the everyday things. Most of all, don't make claims that the beer is complex when it is not. Don't spit in my bathwater and call it Mr. Bubbles.

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Beer #320 of 3,652

MGD 64

Miller Genuine Draft 64
Type of beer: lager
Container Type: 335 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 2.80%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 0% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.25
Tasted on: 10/19/09
Colours of label: Silver/Red/White
Drank From: Glass
Label Reads: "2.4 carbs".
website: www.mgd64.com
Best for: hydration
Ratings:
Taste: 0/20
Flavour: 0/20
Buy again: 0/20
Aroma: 0/10
Satisfaction: 0/10
Complexity: 0/10
Intangible: 0/10

Handwritten notes: You rat bastards at Miller, keep this shit out of my country. If you have an ounce of a soul left, you will not subject this horse semen on the Canadian public. No, no, no. Of all of the beer fads, this "ultra low calorie" shit has to fucking stop. Now. Please, I'm begging you, just make beer for God's sake. Just make beer. Please. C'mon.
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Beer #319 of 3,652

Goose Island Summertime

Goose Island Summertime
Type of beer: Kölsch
Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 4.7%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 72% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.25
Tasted on: 10/9/09
Colours of label: Blue/Orange/Black
Drank From: Glass
Label Reads: "Traditional German Style Kölsch"
website: www.gooseisland.com
Best for: Listening to Billy Stewart
Ratings:
Taste: 13/20
Flavour: 14/20
Buy again: 15/20
Aroma: 7/10
Satisfaction: 7/10
Complexity: 8/10
Intangible: 8/10

Handwritten notes: Another Kölsch so soon. It is interesting to note the comparison between this and the Summit Kölsch. This one does leave the American hops up front, but gives way to a fruity body. The transition is there, from dewy-grassed morning to radiating heat. It is also strange to me that it seems like I had a million-and-one porters & stouts in summer and now it is frickin stout weather and I have some summery brews. Oh well. Drink and learn, I guess.

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Beer #318 of 3,652

New Belgium 1554 Enlightened Black Ale

New Belgium 1554 Enlightened Black Ale
Type of beer: Dark Ale
Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 5.50%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 62% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.00
Tasted on: 10/18/09
Colours of label: Red/Purps/Green
Drank From: Glass

Label Reads: "1554 Enlightened Black Ale redefines the phrase keeping time in a bottle. From an ancient, crumbling Belgian library book, our intrepid researchers found references to this obscure style dating back to the year 1554. Overcoming obsolete script and units of measurement, our brewers discovered an ale with a surprisingly bright taste and a dry, chocolatey finish – one evocative of dark brews enjoyed in Belgian taverns 500 years ago"

website: http://www.newbelgium.com/
Best for: Putting on your jammies
Ratings:
Taste: 12/20
Flavour: 12/20
Buy again: 10/20
Aroma: 7/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 7/10
Intangible: 6/10

Handwritten notes: This is a sweet, bitter chocolate beer. This is not the chocolate typical of dark beers, rather, it has a sweet milk chocolatey bouquet. This beer has a good back-story, but there's really nothing so special to distinguish this beer from comparable a 2009 recipe. We will never know or understand what the beer tasted like in 1554. This is a noble intention, I must say, but futile. What's past is passed. Go shotgun a Bud Light and thank the sweet god of destiny you are alive in 2009.

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Beer #317 of 3,652

Samuel Adams Brown Ale

Samuel Adams Brown Ale
Type of beer: Brown Ale
Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 5.35%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 64% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.15
Tasted on: 10/18/09
Colours of label: Brown/Yellow/White
Drank From: HP Glass

Label Reads: "This traditional ale is brewed with an interesting blend of malts giving it a complex malt flavor with deep notes of toasted malts, biscuit, nut, and caramel. The hops in this satisfying ale are Noble Spalt from Bavaria and citrusy Goldings which we select from a single farmer we know in Brittian's East Kent. Cheers!"

website: www.samadams.com/
Best for: Watching the New England Patriots win gracefully
Ratings:
Taste: 13/20
Flavour: 12/20
Buy again: 12/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 7/10
Complexity: 6/10
Intangible: 6/10

Handwritten notes: The smell of this beer is inviting. The taste, however, is a one-note pony. If I were blindfolded I would guess this beer was black (not brown). The deep, coffee-roast and malt (almost balsamic) taste is all-pervading. I tend to disfavour coffee flavoured beers as much as I disfavour fruit flavoured beers. The flavour is bold, don't get me wrong. I have to give props where props are due, whatever that means. I just don't think I like this beer very much. Props notwithstanding.

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Beer #316 of 3,652

Goose Island Harvest Ale

Goose Island Harvest Ale
Type of beer: Extra Special Bitter (ESB)
Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 5.7%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 79% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.15
Tasted on: 10/17/09
Colours of label: Orange/Black/Red
Drank From: Glass
Label Reads: "Serve Harvest Ale in a Willi Glass"
website: www.gooseisland.com
Best for: Flying South
Ratings:
Taste: 16/20
Flavour: 17/20
Buy again: 16/20
Aroma: 7/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 8/10
Intangible: 7/10

Handwritten notes: For some reason I have brought back with me all kinds of new styles of beer from the US. Well, in name only. The Goose Island website calls this an "American Extra Special Bitter". You could have called it an Ale (perhaps even a "harvest ale") and I wouldn't know any different. The first sensation from this beer is a very bready smell. The taste begins with the familiar and pleasant punch of American grapefruit hops, followed by a round caramel flavour. I tend to find that American beers tend to taste like grapefruit, even when attempting styles that are not a Pale Ale/IPA. This is no one-dimensional beer, though. The sweetness and bitterness are in oppositional harmony, like a fat man french kissing a female midget. Beautanimous.

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Beer #315 of 3,652

Keystone Light

Keystone Light
Type of beer: Light Lager
Container Type: 355 mL can
Alcohol by volume: 4.20%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 4% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $0.50
Tasted on: 10/16/09
Colours of label: Blue/Silver
Drank From: Heinie Glass

Label Reads: "Specially lined can", "Unsmooth moments, caught her eye(she looked away)", "Always smooth".

website: www.keystonelightbeer.com
Best for: gearing up for a date rape
Ratings:
Taste: 1/20
Flavour: 1/20
Buy again: 0/20
Aroma: 2/10
Satisfaction: 0/10
Complexity: 0/10
Intangible: 0/10

Handwritten notes: This is a college beer and is nothing more than an inexpensive alcohol delivery device. This is one step above drinking a bottle of mouthwash to "get your buzz on". When I drink these beers I think of how the art of beer has been perverted so far that someone can even drink this and think it is beer. Usually you think of advancements as a good thing. Alexander Graham Bell would be proud to know that people can drive around in their cars talking on the phone hands-free, and that we can send stupid "wtf" text messages to each other when we see a touchdown on tv. This beer marks a decline in human knowledge. Well done guys, thanks.

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Beer #314 of 3,652

Summit Kölsch

Summit Kölsch
Type of beer: Kölsch
Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 4.70%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 79% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.90
Tasted on: 10/17/09
Colours of label: Tan/Black/Green
Drank From: HP Glass
Label Reads: "Unchained series", "Batch 01".
website: www.summitbrewing.com
Best for: watching "Labyrinth"
Ratings:
Taste: 15/20
Flavour: 16/20
Buy again: 16/20
Aroma: 7/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 8/10
Intangible: 9/10

Handwritten notes: The initial smell of this beer is of a German lager, like what I'm sure the German countryside smells like. I am hesitant to try an American micro brew that is not some sort of Ale, for fear that there will be a mess o' hops thrown in just for the hell of it. This beer is done right. It has a nice, bitter finish, with all European style hops (not a hint of grapefruit to be found). It has a "fuller" taste than I would have expected. Pretty gööd.

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Beer #313 of 3,652

Cannery Brewing Blackberry Porter

Cannery Brewing Blackberry Porter
Type of beer: Porter
Container Type: 650 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 6.5%
Country of origin: Canada
Rating: 78% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $4.50
Tasted on: 10/10/09
Colours of label: Purple/White
Drank From: Bears mug

Label Reads: "Five carefully chosen malted barleys are combined with three superior hop varieties to produce this traditional porter. Natural blackberry adds an exciting complexity to this easy sipping wonder. AN EXCITING EXPLOSION OF FLAVOUR!"

website: www.cannerybrewing.com/
Best for: while vacuuming
Ratings:
Taste: 16/20
Flavour: 16/20
Buy again: 14/20
Aroma: 7/10
Satisfaction: 9/10
Complexity: 7/10
Intangible: 9/10

Handwritten notes: As you kind readers likely know by now, the idea of mixing fruit in beer is about as appealing to me as the idea of eating goat testicles. However, this beer is the exception that proves the rule. (What the hell does that phrase mean? How can an exception prove a rule, when a rule is an a priori absolute concept?). Whatever it is, this beer works as a fruit beer. It may be the perfect pairing of porter and blackberry. It may be the high ABV that gives the porter itself a wine-like quality. It may be the fact that this is still a beer, not some white beer and raspberries blended together. Whatever it is, bravo Cannery Brewing. You are the Neil Armstrong of breweries.

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Beer #312 of 3,652

Cannery Brewing Anarchist Amber Ale

Cannery Brewing Anarchist Amber Ale
Type of beer: Ale
Container Type: 355 mL can
Alcohol by volume: 5.5%
Country of origin: Canada
Rating: 77% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $2.50
Tasted on: 10/9/09
Colours of label: Black/Red/White
Drank From: HP Glass

Label Reads: "Small Brewery, BIG Flavour", "Naturally brewed in small batches", "This full-bodied and-crafted ale is balanced with a generous combination of carefully roasted malts and three Northwest hop varieties. It is a harmony of hop and malt that results in a lingering finish... disturbingly delicious."

website: www.cannerybrewing.com
Best for: Listening to the Crash Test Dummies
Ratings:
Taste: 14/20
Flavour: 15/20
Buy again: 16/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 8/10
Intangible: 8/10

Handwritten notes: The only thing sketchy about this beer is the name. Guys, put a little creativity into the back story. I would say: "This is a beer that follows nobody's rules, even its own. It smacks you in the face with a sharp shank of hops, then fades away like a phantom. And you, you conformist bastard, you're left standing there asking yourself what the hell just happened." Well, that may be a bit much, but it does represent itself as being an American-hopped micro, then as soon as you say "oh, wow", the flavour is gone. You'll find your tongue groping around the walls of your mouth for another little taste. It's pretty good.

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Beer #311 of 3,652

Paulaner Oktoberfest Bier

Paulaner Oktoberfest Bier
Type of beer: Märzen
Container Type: 1000 mL can
Alcohol by volume: 6.0%
Country of origin: Germany
Rating: 62% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $14.90
Tasted on: 10/7/09
Colours of label: White/Blue/Red
Drank From: Oktoberfest stein
Label Reads: n/a
website: www.paulaner.de
Best for: a light snack
Ratings:
Taste: 11/20
Flavour: 12/20
Buy again: 10/20
Aroma: 7/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 6/10
Intangible: 8/10

Handwritten notes: After spending countless hours rummaging through thrift shops looking for my very own Oktoberfest stein, there it was. Fifteen bucks was a small price to pay, as I was willing to shell out $20 on ebay for one just like this. Unfortunately I bought this beer on a Tuesday night and as such I was only able to finish a third of it. I'm not a big Oktoberfest guy, in fact I've never been. The real, and perhaps astonishing truth about me is that I don't drink to get drunk. The most drunk I've been in the past 3 years was after the friggin 8-ball of O.E. I reviewed. The beer itself is a standard strong German style beer. It really has no personality of its own, which I assume goes hand in hand with the serving size being one litre. As such the most descriptive thing I can say about it is: it's really big.

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Beer #310 of 3,652

Just a sweet watermelon and a buckwheat cake

I have returned from the home of the brave, with the haul of a lifetime. This time I scored about 45 different beers, whcih will be reviewed over the next months.

These reviews will follow the few I have neglected to post yet.

Stay tuned.

Gone drinkin'

Alright nerds , I'm out of the country for a week. Brandon, you're in charge. Be good, and no parties!