It's a Stalemate, Boys

Well, it's been day "who the fuck knows how many" and no new beers have cropped up in old Manitoba.

I have 6 reviews to do, but I'm sure as fuck not going to sit here posting them drinking Standard Lager. That's bush league.

I've already thought ahead to traveling South, East, or West to bring home some new beers. I've booked my bro for a beer run to Ontario, but not till April. I guess at this point I have no choice but to wait for the beer fairy to spread her wings over my hometown.

By the way, everytime a can opens, a beer fairy get his wings. That's right. That's right. Atta boy, Clarence.

Stalemate.

König Ludwig Weissbier

König Ludwig Weissbier
Type of beer: Hefeweizen
Container Type: 500 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 5.50%
Country of origin: Germany
Rating: 69% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $4.00
Tasted on: 12/15/09
Colours of label: Yellow/Black/Gold
Drank From: HP Glass
Label Reads: Something in German. About genocide, I think.
website: http://royal-bavarian-beer-selection.com/
Best for: Err... winter?

Ratings:
Taste: 12/20
Flavour: 13/20
Buy again: 14/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 7/10
Complexity: 7/10
Intangible: 8/10
Handwritten notes: A lovely change of pace from the usual winter fare. I haven't had a weizen in a while, and a bitter-ass night is as good a time as any. The taste is a standard weiss, though, an orangey and bready taste, but with a nice bitter finish that I wasn't expecting. Pretty nice for a -38° Celsius night.

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Beer #374 of 3,652

Brooklyn Brewery Black Chocolate Stout

Brooklyn Brewery Black Chocolate Stout
Type of beer: Stout

Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 10.0%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 74% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $3.75
Tasted on: 12/1/09
Colours of label:Black/Gold/White

Drank From: Glass
Label Reads: "In the last century, British brewers made strong stouts for the Czar's Court. They were called Imperial Stouts. Our Black Chocolate Stout, brewed once yearly for the winter season, achieves a a chocolate aroma and flavor through the artful blending of six varieties of black, chocolate and roasted malts."
website: www.brooklynbrewery.com
Best for: Watching College Football
Ratings:
Taste: 13/20
Flavour: 15/20
Buy again: 14/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 10/10
Complexity: 7/10
Intangible: 7/10
Handwritten notes: Bitter as a winter's eve. What's the IBUs on this? This beer is more vicious than a steaming cup of Verona. Why do coffee and chocolate taste so much alike? I've got a lot of thinkins about a lot of things, but botany is not one of them. Also, what's the deal with Coffee Crisp chocolate bars? Do they have those in the US? Also, why do they call Rockets "Smarties" in the US? Our "Smarties" are actually a better version of M & M's. How can you have Halloween without Coffee Crisp, Rockets, and Smarties? The first 3 Americans to email me the name of their favourite Star Trek episode will receive, gratis, by mail, a sample of Coffee Crisp, Smarties, and Rockets. Maybe it's the liquor talking. What did Winston Churchill say about making promises while drinking? Anyhow, bring it on yanks. This beer is good.

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Beer #373 of 3,652

Affligem Tripel

Affligem Tripel
Type of beer: Tripel
Container Type: 330 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 9.50%
Country of origin: Belgium
Rating: 75% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $2.50
Tasted on: 11/19/09
Colours of label: Red/Green/Gold

Drank From: Affligem Glass
Label Reads: "Affligem Abbey ale is being brewed in Belgium according to an old method since 1074. The king of the Abbey Beers. It is amber-gold and pours with a deep head and original aroma, delivering a complex, full-bodied flavour. Pure enjoyment!"
website: www.affligembeer.be/
Best for: Warning Track Power! (Hitting a triple).
Ratings:
Taste: 15/20
Flavour: 14/20
Buy again: 13/20
Aroma: 7/10
Satisfaction: 10/10
Complexity: 8/10
Intangible: 8/10
Handwritten notes: Woo-ha, this bugger delivers a left-hook to your addled brain. A doughy and fruity tripel worthy of nobility. It's interesting to note the deepening complexity of these Affligem beers as the ABV notches upwards. A warming fizziness descends upon the cranium and the flavours linger on the palate with a clovey-spiciness. Chaka Khan!
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Beer #372 of 3,652

Wychwood Bah Humbug

Wychwood Bah Humbug
Type of beer: Spiced Ale
Container Type: 500 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 5.00%
Country of origin: England
Rating: 65% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $4.50
Tasted on: 12/2/09
Colours of label: Red/Gold/Black

Drank From: HP Glass
Label Reads: "Brewed with the choicest hops & malt, lightly spiced with cinnamon, this is a rich ale complimented with subtle tones of dried fruits. Beer with cinnamon".
website: www.wychwood.co.uk/
Best for: Levelling out your humours
Ratings:
Taste: 13/20
Flavour: 12/20
Buy again: 10/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 8/10
Intangible: 6/10
Handwritten notes: One thing you should know about old Bard is that I love Dickens' A Christmas Carol. I have read it a dozen times, and I have watched the movies a ton. I will even sit through "Scrooged" even though Bill Murray is less funny than the holocaust. One time I met Bill Murray at a baseball game. In real life his face looks like peanut brittle. Anyhoo, this beer is caramelly like a Christmas fruitcake. It is a fizzy, sparkling fruitcake. It kind of tastes like a bock in a weird way. There may be some cinnamon and nutmeg notes, but this beer is more about the malt than it is about the spices. The spices are quite subtle, and thank God for that. A superb Christmas chugger.

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Beer #371 of 3,652

New Belgium Fate Tire Amber Ale

New Belgium Fate Tire Amber Ale
Type of beer:Amber Beer
Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 5.20%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 70% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.00
Tasted on: 11/16/09
Colours of label: Blue/Yellow/Green
Drank From: Red Man Mug
Label Reads: "Fat Tire Amber Ale’s appeal is in its feat of balance: toasty, biscuit-like malt flavors coasting in equilibrium with hoppy freshness. Named in honor of Jeff’s mountain bike trip from brewery through Europe.
Fat Tire is still crafted following the original home brew recipe that Jeff brainstormed on this cycling trip"

website: http://www.newbelgium.com/
Best for: Telling banal stories about cycling through some dumbass European countryside. BIG DEAL! One time I got the high score on Batman pinball. Fucker.

Ratings:
Taste: 12/20
Flavour: 13/20
Buy again: 14/20
Aroma: 7/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 9/10
Intangible: 7/10
Handwritten notes: Despite my obvious disdain for self-romanticized stories, this beer is actually quite good. It is a unique sort of Amber, looking quite like an ordinary beer, but dabbling in witchcraft in its dizzying use of different underlying flavours. Is that cloves I taste? Or was it licorice? Who knows. The main body is a sour/bitter taste much like other ambers. What makes this beer stand apart are the very subtle flavours that you have to chase after.

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Beer #370 of 3,652

Russell Rocky Mountain Pilsner

Russell Rocky Mountain Pilsner
Type of beer: Canadian Pilsner
Container Type: 341 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 5.0%
Country of origin: Canada
Rating: 10% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.25
Tasted on: 11/15/09
Colours of label: Silver/Green/Black
Drank From: Pils Glass
Label Reads: "Canadian Style Pilsner", "Crisp. Clean. Natural"
website: www.russellbeer.com/
Best for: Wrapping it up
Ratings:
Taste: 2/20
Flavour: 3/20
Buy again: 2/20
Aroma: 0/10
Satisfaction: 3/10
Complexity: 0/10
Intangible: 0/10
Handwritten notes: Ugh, a pissy Canadian perversion of the Pilsner name. Hosers, let's put our heads together and think of a new name for "Canadian Pilsner". Every time I think "Pilsner" I think of a citrussy and bitter refreshing as fuck beverage. My mouth waters as I twist off the cap of a Canadian Pilsner, hoping that (just once) a Canadian brewery will get it right. Instead it's a Labatt Blue clone that's not worth much more than the 10 cent bottle deposit. Blah.
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Beer #369 of 3,652

Amstel Light

Amstel Light
Type of beer: Light Lager
Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 4.0%
Country of origin: Netherlands
Rating: 39% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st

Cost: $1.90
Tasted on: 11/14/09
Colours of label: Red/White/Gold
Drank From: Red Man Mug
Label Reads: "Imported".
website: www.amstel.com
Best for: proofreading the bible
Ratings:
Taste: 8/20
Flavour: 8/20
Buy again: 7/20
Aroma: 4/10
Satisfaction: 3/10
Complexity: 4/10
Intangible: 5/10
Handwritten notes: Intentionally light beer is as offensive to me as intentionally strong beer. Just let it be, boys. Alright, you drink light beer. You save a few calories and delay your heart attack by 13 more seconds. You best enjoy those 13 seconds, boyo, because while you are I'll be slugging a 7% IPA and inhaling a cuban cigar. Who do you think comes out ahead? So I'll die before you will, and you'll win the "delay the inevitable" race. Even so, I'm going to haunt your ass hardcore. This beer is an ok light tasting of a sort of bastardized German Lager.
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Beer #368 of 3,652

Affligem Blond

Affligem Blond
Type of beer: Pale Ale
Container Type: 330 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 6.8%
Country of origin: Belgium
Rating: 78% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $2.50
Tasted on: 11/14/09
Colours of label: Gold/Red/White
Drank From: Affligem Glass

Label Reads: "Affligenm Abbey ale is being brewed in Belgium according to an old method since 1074. A smooth-bodied, golden abbey beer with a light, hoppy character and a surprisingly clean finish."
website: www.affligembeer.be/
Best for: waffling
Ratings:
Taste: 15/20
Flavour: 15/20
Buy again: 16/20
Aroma: 7/10
Satisfaction: 9/10
Complexity: 8/10
Intangible: 8/10
Handwritten notes: This Belgian offering is a crab-appley sour punch with a heavy malt finish. I don't know about you guys, but when I was a kid we had crab-apple fights, whipping these little crab apples at each other with reckless abandon. These innocent contests would invariably end in the big kids pummeling the little kids with their fists rather than with produce. I was a little kid with a wicked throwing arm. Even so, that analogy is apt. The beer starts with a sour smack, and then, when you get tired of that, the malt beats the crap out of you. Ahhh, memories.
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Beer #367 of 3,652

Affligem Dubbel

Affligem Dubbel
Type of beer: Dubbel
Container Type: 330 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 6.8%
Country of origin: Belgium
Rating: 78% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $2.50
Tasted on: 11/13/09
Colours of label: Red/Gold/White
Drank From: Affligem Glass
Label Reads: "A reddish-brown abbey ale brewed with dark malts. The secondary fermentation gives a fruity aroma and a unique spicy character wit ha distinctive aftertaste."
website: www.affligembeer.be/
Best for: being classy as fuck
Ratings:
Taste: 15/20
Flavour: 16/20
Buy again: 14/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 9/10
Complexity: 8/10
Intangible: 8/10
Handwritten notes: Every self-respecting sot knows that Belgium is the Mecca towards which we all face while saying our beer-prayers. Here we go again. The first sensation is a light, chocolaty taste, like a chocolate soda or a Coke float. The secondary tastes are those of dried fruit and spices. This is the perfect accompaniment to a brisk autumn evening. Hallalujah!
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Beer #366 of 3,652

When I was 17...

Well nerds and nerd-ettes, I have slugged back 365 beers in less than a year. Having followed beer blogs for a few months, I know that this is a sought-after, and unlikely accomplishment. Many have tried, few (if any) have succeeded. Am I proud? No, not of that. I am proud that I did so without using any of the following terms in my reviews:

a) Adjunct

b) Mouthfeel

c) Lacing

d) Hue

e) Scrotum

Stay tuned.

Inveralmond Ossian

Inveralmond Ossian
Type of beer: Scottish Ale
Container Type: 500 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 4.1%
Country of origin: Scotland
Rating: 81% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st

Cost: $4.55
Tasted on: 11/12/09
Colours of label: Gold/Orange/Black
Drank From: HP Glass
Label Reads: "Ossian, Son of Fingal, was a legendary 3rd century Scottish warrior. Sir Walter Scott wrote:’In this still glen, remote from men, Sleeps Ossian, in the narrow glen’ This superb golden ale continues to win awards including, in its cask version, the Champion Beer of Scotland. It is perilously smooth and drinkable with distinct nutty tones and fruitiness. First Gold, Perle and Cascade hops create our unique spicy orange zesty aroma and refreshing flavour."
website: www.inveralmond-brewery.co.uk
Best for: playing the spoons
Ratings:
Taste: 15/20
Flavour: 16/20
Buy again: 17/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 7/10
Complexity: 9/10
Intangible: 9/10
Handwritten notes: Hooooooo-wheee! A beautifully hopped piece of honey-suckle gold. Sweet, but not "sweet-sweet", bitter, but not "bitter-bitter". As complex as a Philosophy graduate student, and just as likely to land a good job. But I guarantee if you sit down with this mo-fo you'll become enlightened, and come to a fuller understanding of Heraclitian flux. Honestly, folks, I'm not as pretentious as I sound. I'm smart, but not "smart-smart". I can drive stick shift while talking on the phone and eating a hamburger and smoking a cigar. Anyways, the beer's good.

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Beer #365 of 3,652

Schneider Weisse

Schneider Weisse
Type of beer: Heffe-Weizen
Container Type: 500 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 5.4%
Country of origin: Germany
Rating: 85% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $3.95
Tasted on: 7/22/09
Colours of label: White/Gold/Blue
Drank From: Glass

Label Reads: "Brewed according to the German purity law of 1516", "Original Bottle fermentation", "From Bavaria's oldest brewery. Considered the classical German Hefe-Weizen. Classic bottle fermentation. Unpasteurized, unfiltered, with a pure top fermenting yeast that resettles on the bottom. Distinctive amber colour with a fine full head and a fresh bouquet. A light but firm body with plenty of champagne - like carbonation. Wonderfully refreshing".

website: www.schneider-weisse.com
Best for: watching "The Outer Limits"
Ratings:
Taste: 15/20
Flavour: 17/20
Buy again: 16/20
Aroma: 10/10
Satisfaction: 9/10
Complexity: 9/10
Intangible: 9/10

Handwritten notes: A solid nutmeg and light caramel taste with a faint hint of coffee on top of the wheat flavours. The balance and complexity is played perfectly. It is warming, like a higher ABV (confirmed). What is that smell? I have this scent memory from somewhere. For some reason I remember an old 19th Century plow-shed, abandoned in the middle of the wilderness of a country field, green moss overgrown on its sides and wood-shingled roof. The aroma of rotten spruce and wheat unscythed for a hundred years surrounds me. Whether this actually happened or not, who cares? Thank you, Schneider Weisse.

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Beer #364 of 3,652

Bell's Octoberfest

Bell's Octoberfest
Type of beer: Märzen
Container Type: 335 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 5.50%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 61% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.25
Tasted on: 10/26/09
Colours of label: Orange/Yellow/Black
Drank From: Mug

Label Reads: "Fall is my favorite time to drink beer. The weather turns cooler, there's a bounty of foods, and beer just seems to taste better. I hope you enjoy this traditional beer as much as I do. Prosit!'

website: www.bellsbeer.com/
Best for: Falling down
Ratings:
Taste: 12/20
Flavour: 12/20
Buy again: 11/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 7/10
Complexity: 5/10
Intangible: 6/10
Handwritten notes: The Oktoberfest parade continues. I'm still not sure about this genre, but it does fit the season. Instead of a nice crisp, clean, fresh tasting beer indicative of spring's sweet foreplay, we have the post coital Oktoberfest with its pungent smell and taste of decay. There is no mystery or intrigue with Oktoberfest. It just lays there, smoking a menthol and checking its watch.

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Beer #363 of 3,652

Leinenkugel Classic Amber

Leinenkugel Classic Amber

Type of beer: Amber
Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 4.90%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 37% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.25
Tasted on: 11/11/09
Colours of label: Yellow/Red/Gold
Drank From: Glass

Label Reads: "Lager with 100 % malted barley and the perfect blend of Hallertau, Cluster, Cascade and Mt. Hood hops". "Carefully brewed by the Leinenkugel family for five generations", "The pride of Chippewa Falls, Wisconsin since 1867".

website: www.leinie.com
Best for: working out

Ratings:
Taste: 7/20
Flavour: 8/20
Buy again: 10/20
Aroma: 4/10
Satisfaction: 4/10
Complexity: 2/10
Intangible: 2/10
Handwritten notes: This will be the last opportunity I'll have to slander Leinie for a while. This is a sour amber with a metallic bite like you'd find in a faux premium. I don't know what else to say about a company that makes beers just above mediocre. Are they great? No. Are they terrible? No. Are they worth buying and doling out to your friends at a barbecue instead of Bud Light to prove you're classy? Ugh.
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Beer #362 of 3,652

Samuel Adams Dunelweizen

Samuel Adams Dunelweizen
Type of beer: Dunkelweizen
Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 5.4%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 72% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.15
Tasted on: 11/10/09
Colours of label: Purple/Brown/Yellow
Drank From: HP Glass
Label Reads: "This unfiltered dark wheat beer is brewed with a traditional Bavarian yeast that creates a wide spectrum of flavors and aromas from clove to tropical fruit. Malted wheat give the beer its crisp finish."
website: www.samadams.com

Best for: socializing
Ratings:
Taste: 15/20
Flavour: 14/20
Buy again: 15/20
Aroma: 7/10
Satisfaction: 7/10
Complexity: 7/10
Intangible: 7/10
Handwritten notes: A sweet and deep caramelly malt flavour. This one sports the deep flavour without being abrasive about it. Like that one dude you met at a party who was insightful and funny, but before long he was off to some other group of people. You felt cheated. Why the fuck are you at this party anyways? You don't know anyone here.

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Beer #361 of 3,652

Bitburger

Bitburger
Type of beer: Pilsner
Container Type: 330 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 4.8%
Country of origin: Germany
Rating: 68% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $2.00
Tasted on: 11/10/09
Colours of label: White/Gold/Black
Drank From: Frickin Bitburger Glass
Label Reads: "Made using crystal clear water from volcanic springs. Brewed since 1817 according to the German Purity law of 1516".
website: www.bitburger.com/
Best for: Blowing your Christmas bonus
Ratings:
Taste: 13/20
Flavour: 14/20
Buy again: 15/20
Aroma: 6/10
Satisfaction: 6/10
Complexity: 5/10
Intangible: 9/10
Handwritten notes: The thing about the German purity law is that no one ever references the German purity law of 1945. Somehow we've all forgotten about that. This is a straight up Pils which is refreshing after tasting godawful Canadian Pilsner. There is a tinny, bitey and dusty taste that really hits my spot. I saw this 6 pack of Bits with a free glass in a Christmas gift set and I really had no choice but to buy it. 13 bucks?? Good deal.

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Beer #360 of 3,652

Breckenridge Remarkable Vanilla Porter

Breckenridge Remarkable Vanilla Porter
Type of beer: Porter
Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 4.70%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 82% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.25
Tasted on: 11/8/09
Colours of label: Tan/Red/Brown
Drank From: Glass
Label Reads: "Ale brewed with real vanilla beans", "Original mountain recipe", " Seldom seen never duplicated".

website: www.breckbrew.com
Best for: obtaining racial harmony

Ratings:
Taste: 16/20
Flavour: 16/20
Buy again: 17/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 8/10
Intangible: 9/10
Handwritten notes: Wow, this is truly remarkable. Of all of the beers that appear to be "gimmicky", this one is one of the best (if not the best). The vanilla is a genius pairing to the chocolaty stout, like a vanilla/chocolate swirl ice cream. I hesitated to try this beer because it sounded like a gross idea for a beer. How outrageously wrong could I be? I would pour this shit on my Lucky Charms. Fantesticle.
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Beer #359 of 3,652

New Belgium Mothership Wit

New Belgium Mothership Wit
Type of beer: White Beer
Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 4.80%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 64% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.15
Tasted on: 11/8/09

Colours of label: Yellow/Green/Red
Drank From: Glass
Label Reads: "New Belgium's first organic beer offering, Mothership Wit elevates the zesty Wit or White beers of Belgium with wheat malt, coriander and orange peel spicing - all of which are organically grown. The Mothership experience begins with a cloudy pale yellow appearance capped by a creamy white head. Next is the alluring, slightly spicy, floral nose. The refreshing taste is the result of a gravitational balance of citrus and sour flavors held in suspension by a bright burst of carbonation."
website: www.newbelgium.com/
Best for: chillaxing
Ratings:
Taste: 12/20
Flavour: 11/20
Buy again: 12/20
Aroma: 9/10
Satisfaction: 7/10
Complexity: 7/10
Intangible: 6/10
Handwritten notes: I like the rough, bready smell on this bad boy. The taste is the classic mandarin orange and spice. It's November, but as I write this it is 13 degrees (Celsius). Later tonight I'll have a stout for a perfect day.

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Beer #358 of 3,652

Bard's Beer

Heaven help all of you who have the time and/or patience to watch this video review of Bard's Beer. Tasted October 20, 2009.
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Beer #357 of 3,652

Big Rock Black Amber Ale

Big Rock Black Amber Ale
Type of beer: Stout
Container Type: 341 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 5.00%
Country of origin: Canada
Rating: 75% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.60
Tasted on: 11/5/09
Colours of label: Black/Gold/Brown
Drank From: Glass
Label Reads: "A labour of love. Matured at ice-cold temperatures, Big Rock beers are aged longer. The result of this process is a smooth, easy drinking beer with a satisfying balance of malt and hop flavours that cannot be duplicated by mass-production. We brew in small batches using traditional methods to produce exceptionally pure beer".
website: www.bigrockbeer.com
Best for: blacking out
Ratings:
Taste: 15/20
Flavour: 15/20
Buy again: 14/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 7/10
Intangible: 8/10
Handwritten notes: Baa, baa Black Amber, have you any toast? This is a heavily roasted beer like a porter or stout. But it has a bit of lightness that I suppose warrants the "amber ale" tag. But not really. Black licorice and coffee grounds abound. It really hits the spot on a brisk fall evening. I've taken a peek in this beer's panties and I can tell you it is not a natural amber.
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Beer #356 of 3,652

Wimer Drifter Pale Ale

Wimer Drifter Pale Ale
Type of beer: Pale Ale
Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 5.73%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 71% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.25
Tasted on: 11/4/09
Colours of label: Blue/Whit/Grey
Drank From: Glass
Label Reads: "Brewers of Quality beers"
website: www.widmer.com

Best for: Being a classy hobo
Ratings:
Taste: 13/20
Flavour: 13/20
Buy again: 15/20
Aroma: 7/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 7/10
Intangible: 8/10
Handwritten notes: This beer is actually quite good. It's not overly hoppy, with the hops being used (as they should be) as an introduction to the "true beer" flavour. Pretty dad-gum good. Maybe if they renamed it "dangerous vagabond pale ale" it would add a bit of class. "Drifter" is a bit too general. But I guess "filthy hobo ale" wouldn't sell as well.
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Beer #355 of 3,652

Big Rock Winter Spice Ale

Big Rock Winter Spice Ale
Type of beer: Ale
Container Type: 341 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 6.00%
Country of origin: Canada
Rating: 65% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $2.25
Tasted on: 11/4/09
Colours of label: Tan/Maroon/Brown

Drank From: Glass
Label Reads: "McNally's Winter Spice Ale is a full-bodied amber ale spiced with cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves, and a hint of ginger. The pale and caramel malts give it a warm, amber colour and at 6% alcohol - this rich, seasonal brew is sure to warm your heart and your cheeks".
website: www.bigrockbeer.com
Best for: warming your cheeks

Ratings:
Taste: 12/20
Flavour: 12/20
Buy again: 12/20
Aroma: 7/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 8/10
Intangible: 7/10
Handwritten notes: This bad boy has a crazy taste of prunes, raisins, dates and other fruitcake delights. I dislike eggnog but this kind of has that classic eggnog taste. One time on New Years eve of 2008 I saw a completely plastered idiot walk into a 7-11 and yell (inappropriately loudly) at the cashier: "Y'G'IGGNOGG!?" I guess that means "do you have any eggnog" in drunk talk. Then I saw him driving away after he got his "IGGNOGG!". This beer is a cacophony of mincemeat and holiday flavours. So much so that I would expect it would be cloudy or murky. This is an ok novelty beer. Try one Christmas morning after Santa leaves you nothing but crippling credit card debt and herpes.
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Beer #354 of 3,652

Sleeman Bock

Sleeman Bock
Type of beer: Bock
Container Type: 341 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 6.0%
Country of origin: Canada
Rating: 73% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.75
Tasted on: 11/3/09
Colours of label: Gold/Silver/Black
Drank From: Mug
Label Reads: "Recipe book pg. 72. Established 1834", " Brewmaster's tasting notes: Rich caramel toffee and malt aromas with a smooth full body. Brewed with Pale and Munich malt and imported Hallertau hops".
website: www.sleeman.com

Best for: Stepping off the rubber too soon
Ratings:
Taste: 14/20
Flavour: 16/20
Buy again: 12/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 7/10
Intangible: 8/10
Handwritten notes: This Bock sports the toffee and caramel flavours it boasts of. However, it's surprisingly light and not at all syrupy. My main beef with other Bocks is that they taste and drink like the icing on a coffee cake. Not this mofo. I generally like what Sleeman's makes, but they often straddle mediocrity by playing it safe. Make a huge flavour that smacks me in the mouth, boys. C'mon, I have it coming.
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Beer #353 of 3,652

Big Sky IPA

Big Sky IPA
Type of beer: India Pale Ale
Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 6.20%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 74% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.25
Tasted on: 11/3/09
Colours of label: Blue/Yellow/Gold
Drank From: HP Glass
Label Reads: "Big Sky Brewing Co., Missoula, Montana".

website: www.bigskybrew.com
Best for: Hunting Big to medium-sized game
Ratings:
Taste: 14/20
Flavour: 15/20
Buy again: 14/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 9/10
Complexity: 6/10
Intangible: 8/10
Handwritten notes: Don't get me wrong, I'm going to miss these citrus mouth bombs. But after a while they blur into a one-note orchestra. I suppose if I try real hard I can taste pineapple too. One time I ate so much prime rib at a buffet that I had nightmares about biting into big blood clots that burst with puss as I ate them. I think the same thing is going to start happening with all of these American IPAs. I'll have a nightmare of a huge grapefruit whose skull I peel back and I drink it's delicious intoxicating brain juice.

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Beer #352 of 3,652

Big Sky Scape Goat Pale Ale

Big Sky Scape Goat Pale Ale
Type of beer: Pale Ale
Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 4.70%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 77% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.25
Tasted on: 11/3/09
Colours of label: Blue/White/Orange
Drank From: Mug
Label Reads: "Big Sky Brewing Co., Missoula, Montana".
website: www.bigskybrew.com
Best for: eating old tin cans
Ratings:
Taste: 15/20
Flavour: 14/20
Buy again: 17/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 7/10
Intangible: 8/10

Handwritten notes: I love things that are cleverly named. Half Pints "Weizen Heimer" is an hilarious name. But this name I don't get. I like this beer, though. Maybe I've had a long day, but the grapefruit is subdued, the body is nice and minerally, and smooth. It has almost the feel of an English Ale. What the fuck does "mouthfeel" mean? I hear it a lot but (besides being an evocative phrase) is meaningless. How about these descriptors instead:

1. "throat punch" - bitterness

2. "liver smile" - lower ABV

3. "Eye shiatzu" - appearance

4. "nose likey" - aroma.

Huh? Huh? Uh.

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Beer #351 of 3,652

Flying Dog Tire Bite Golden Ale

Flying Dog Tire Bite Golden Ale
Type of beer: Kölsch
Container Type: 355 mL bottle

Alcohol by volume: 5.0%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 52% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.25
Tasted on: 11/2/09
Colours of label: Green/Red/White
Drank From: GW Glass
Label Reads: "Know how to spot a stupid dog? Just look for the one biting the tire of the car that’s running over it. Know how to spot a smart one? He’ll be lapping up our refreshing Golden Ale. This perfect warm-weather beer goes down so easy, you’ll be lifting your leg all over town. Smart dog."
website: www.flyingdogales.com
Best for: Being funny. Not "ha ha" funny, but, like Robin Williams funny.
Ratings:
Taste: 11/20
Flavour: 11/20
Buy again: 12/20
Aroma: 4/10
Satisfaction: 3/10
Complexity: 4/10
Intangible: 5/10
Handwritten notes: This is an American take on the German lager. I guess that's what Kölsch means. It has a light honey taste but little or much else. I can appreciate the attempt at crafting a Kölsch, but there are several subtleties to the genre, you can't just throw a bunch of cadaver parts together, slap a suit jacket on it, and call it a human being. Gee whiz.

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Beer #350 of 3,652

Half Pints Oktoberfest

Half Pints Octoberfest
Type of beer: Märzen
Container Type: 341 mL bottle

Alcohol by volume: 6.2%
Country of origin: Canada
Rating: 77% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $3.00
Tasted on: 11/2/09
Colours of label: Brown/Orange/Red
Drank From: HP Glass
Label Reads: "toasty German malts with a flowery hop aroma", " 22 IBU".
website: www.halfpintsbrewing.com
Best for: Err... early November?
Ratings:
Taste: 14/20
Flavour: 16/20
Buy again: 16/20
Aroma: 7/10
Satisfaction: 9/10
Complexity: 8/10
Intangible: 7/10
Handwritten notes: I had this sumbitch in my fridge for a while, waiting for a special occasion. Then I realized October had come and gone, so that was the occasion. A very bread-doughy smell, or the smell of my old man making toast at 6:30 in the morning. Why did he have to get up so early? The taste of this beer is that which I've come to understand as the Märzen style. I had not tried, in any of my 31 summers, beer of this type until last month. Like any genre, there are good and bad variants. This one works well, though differently from the Sam Adams Octoberfest which I liked. This particular beer has a noticeable tang of alcohol at the end that ramps up the sour, butter-nut squash and decaying produce flavour. Ga-ja!
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Beer #349 of 3,652

Minhas Lime

Minhas Lime
Type of beer: Light Lager
Container Type: 355 mL can
Alcohol by volume: 4.0%
Country of origin: Canada
Rating: 1% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.25
Tasted on: 11/1/09
Colours of label: Grey/Green/Red

Drank From: Wee glass
Label Reads: "Light beer with added lime flavours"
website: www.damngoodbeer.ca
Best for: planning a mass murder
Ratings:
Taste: 0/20
Flavour: 0/20
Buy again: 0/20
Aroma: 0/10
Satisfaction: 0/10
Complexity: 0/10
Intangible: 1/10
Handwritten notes: 1 point because I gave fucking Bud Light Lime one point. To be human is to quest for knowledge. I hope to one day understand quantum physics better than I already do. But I do not, ever, want to understand what stupid fucking G.D. moron thought lime beer was a good idea, nor do I ever want to understand what goes through the mind of a sonofabitch rat bastard who buys lime beer. Ignorance is bliss, boys, ignorance is bliss.
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Beer #348 of 3,652

Olympia

Olympia
Type of beer: Lager
Container Type: 355 mL can
Alcohol by volume: 5.0%
Country of origin: United States/Canada
Rating: 6% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.25
Tasted on: 11/1/09
Colours of label: White/Blue/Yellow
Drank From: Glass
Label Reads: "It's the water"

website: www.olympia-beer.com/
Best for: Bowling
Ratings:
Taste: 1/20
Flavour: 1/20
Buy again: 1/20
Aroma: 1/10
Satisfaction: 2/10
Complexity: 0/10
Intangible: 0/10
Handwritten notes: If you've even left crappy beer open and sitting out overnight, you've had this beer. Or, if you've ever had one too many, and you open that last beer only to realize that it was a bad idea, but you're too cheap (or poor) to dump it so you put in back in the fridge thinking "this is the time it will sit in the fridge overnight and won't taste like old onions and feta cheese", and then you get up the next day and you're hung over singing "Sunday Morning Comin' Down" by Johnny Cash and you pull the open, cheap beer our of the fridge hoping to hell your hangover will fuck off. Aahh, Olympia. I once knew a dude who loved Olympia. He was one of those working stiff types who had a series of jobs which always involved lifting something or sweeping something. That's all I have to say about Olympia.
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Beer #347 of 3,652

Samuel Adams Octoberfest

Samuel Adams Octoberfest
Type of beer: Märzen

Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 5.70%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 70% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.15
Tasted on: 10/31/09
Colours of label: Orange/Blue/Yellow
Drank From: HP Glass
Label Reads: "Seasonal brew. We brew Samuel Adams Octoberfest to celebrate the arrival of autumn. This hearty lager is rich... with a blend of five malts, carefully balanced with hand-selected noble hops. Samuel Adams Octoberfest is a classic beer style brewed in the finest American tradition. Cheers!"

website: www.samadams.com
Best for: licking your chops

Ratings:
Taste: 13/20
Flavour: 15/20
Buy again: 12/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 8/10
Intangible: 6/10
Handwritten notes: These Oktoberfest beers sport the sort of rotty-sour flavour like the musk of fallen autumn leaves. There is also a nice oakiness to this beer (almost like an Innis & Gunn). This is a perfect illustration of the genre. However, it is still not my favourite style. Do you like fall? Hellz yeah. Do you like beer? Yessa. Do you like Oktoberfest? Pfffff... not so much.

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Beer #346 of 3,652

Big Sky Montana Trout Slayer Ale

Big Sky Montana Trout Slayer Ale
Type of beer: Pale Ale
Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 4.70%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 79% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.25
Tasted on: 10/31/09
Colours of label: Blue/Red/White
Drank From: Glass
Label Reads: n/a
website: www.bigskybrew.com

Best for: campaigning for PETA
Ratings:
Taste: 15/20
Flavour: 17/20
Buy again: 17/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 6/10
Intangible: 8/10
Handwritten notes: Is this another fishbine? No. I am personally a fan of trout, and I am also a fan of Slayer. This beer has a nice bitter hop taste, clean as hell with a malty fullness. This beer tastes better as it warms, as any truly good beer should. In real life I've been to Montana just once and caught a fish just once. But I would drink this beer over and over and dream of Montana while eating can after can of tuna.

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Beer #345 of 3,652

Bell's Kalamazoo Stout

Bell's Kalamazoo Stout
Type of beer: Stout
Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 6.00%
Country of origin: United States

Rating: 77% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.25
Tasted on: 10/31/09
Colours of label: Tan/Blue/Black
Drank From: Glass
Label Reads: "Stout brewed with brewer's licorice", "Here's where we tell you about this full-bodied stout's delicious roast flavor. But really, you've already got the bottle in your hand so why not find out for yourself?"
website: www.bellsbeer.com
Best for: Tricker Treating
Ratings:
Taste: 15/20
Flavour: 15/20
Buy again: 16/20
Aroma: 7/10
Satisfaction: 9/10
Complexity: 8/10
Intangible: 7/10
Handwritten notes: Licorice abounds. (Note: I do not read the labels of beers while I'm drinking them. It is usually not until I'm writing these friggin' things that I actually see what they have to say. I did not know there was "brewer's licorice" in this beer). It is as satisfying as becoming an independent human being. Fall is here, the tang of hatred and cold are in the air, and stout eases them both into a flush-faced remedy to life's little annoyances. Good.

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Beer #344 of 3,652

Sierra Nevada ESB

Sierra Nevada ESB (Early Spring Beer)
Type of beer: ESB
Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 5.90%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 72% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.25

Tasted on: 10/30/09
Colours of label: Green/Brown/Yellow
Drank From: Glass
Label Reads: "Our ESB combines the best of English tradition with West Coast style. A blend of malts featuring British-grown Maris Otter is balanced with the earthy spiciness of hand-selected English and US hops. The ale is left unfiltered, which enhances mouthfeel and hop aroma creating a slightly reddish-copper hue."
website: www.sierranevada.com
Best for: Flying high

Ratings:
Taste: 15/20
Flavour: 16/20
Buy again: 14/20
Aroma: 7/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 7/10
Intangible: 6/10
Handwritten notes: ESB = Extra Special Bitter or Early Spring Beer? Very clever, Sierra Nevada. The taste of this beer is cloudy and pillowy. It eases you into life through the bitter hops of birth. After that, and despite its ABV, it's a pleasing and refreshing beer. It must be early spring in Australia right now, so to all you friggin' Aussies, happy ESB. And what's the deal with all of your crazy animals? Koalas? Kangaroos? Duck-billed platypi?? Your region of the world is like the freak-show part of the county fair.

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Beer #343 of 3,652

Grain Belt Premium

Grain Belt Premium
Type of beer: Lager
Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 4.60%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 28% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.00
Tasted on: 10/30/09
Colours of label: Gold/Red/Silver

Drank From: Tall ass glass
Label Reads: "The beer of exceptional quality", "The unique Grain Belt bottle cap neon sign, in downtown Minneapolis, is 40' x 40' and was constructed in the 1940's"
website: www.grainbelt.com/
Best for: tailgating
Ratings:
Taste: 6/20
Flavour: 3/20
Buy again: 10/20
Aroma: 3/10
Satisfaction: 2/10
Complexity: 2/10
Intangible: 2/10
Handwritten notes: If this ain't Leinie Sunset Wheat I'll punch myself in the sternum. It's Sunset Wheat and a gallon of water. I first had Grain Belt Premium at a St. Paul Saints game in 1998. I bought it from "Wally the Beerman". I love that man. He gives new meaning to the words "heeey, here we go cold beer peanuts!". The beer was a watery, honey piece of work then, and it's the same now. It's better than macro-macro, but worse than motor oil.
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Beer #342 of 3,652

Leinenkugel Creamy Dark

Leinenkugel Creamy Dark
Type of beer: Dark Lager
Container Type: 355 mL bottle

Alcohol by volume: 4.90%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 55% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.15
Tasted on: 10/29/09
Colours of label: Green/Yellow/Red
Drank From: Mug
Label Reads: "Lager with a unique blend of barley malts, cluster, cascade and Mt. Hood hops." "Brewed with pride by the Leinenkugel family since 1867", "Carefully brewed by the Leinenkugel family for five generations", "The pride of Chippewa Falls, Wisconsin since 1867".

website: www.leinie.com

Best for: listening to "Ebony and Ivory"
Ratings:
Taste: 11/20
Flavour: 10/20
Buy again: 11/20
Aroma: 6/10
Satisfaction: 7/10
Complexity: 5/10
Intangible: 5/10
Handwritten notes: Dark? Yes. Creamy? Perhaps. This is a coffee-like creamy lager, good for a Wednesday night. I'm sitting here, trying my best not to slander Leinekenkugel. I'm waiting for a bold flavour in one of their beers. But, instead it's like: "oh, the flavour is not bold because it's creamy". C'mon guys, W.W.J.D.? (What would Jacob (Leinenkugel) do?).
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Beer #341 of 3,652

New Belgium Skinny Dip

New Belgium Skinny Dip
Type of beer: Ale
Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 4.20%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 43% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st

Cost: $1.00
Tasted on: 10/29/09
Colours of label: Yellow/Red/Green
Drank From: Red Man
Label Reads: "You can drop everything for New Belgium's Skinny Dip, a full-bodied beer that's designed for the summer dress code. Cascade hops frolic with a splash of kaffir lime leaf creating a bright, citrusy palate that's as crisp as chilling in a mountain pond."
website: www.newbelgium.com
Best for: when shlong meets pond
Ratings:
Taste: 6/20
Flavour: 7/20
Buy again: 7/20
Aroma: 6/10
Satisfaction: 5/10
Complexity: 7/10
Intangible: 5/10
Handwritten notes: This beer tastes like a fizzy piece of carpet. I often write these reviews and feel a level of remorse. Even so, I remain true to the moment and this beer tastes like dust. It's like if you just had to empty out the vacuum canister and all the dust wafted up into your sinus cavity and then you drank an old Mil. While I am almost always a fan of getting "neked", be it streaking, prostate exam, or otherwise, this beer falls flat.

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Beer #340 of 3,652

Widmer Brothers Oktō

Widmer Brothers Oktō
Type of beer: Altbier
Container Type: 335 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 5.00%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 71% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.25

Tasted on: 10/28/09
Colours of label: Blue/Orange/Red
Drank From: GW Glass
Label Reads: "Munich Style Ale".
website: www.widmer.com
Best for: Getting Blottō
Ratings:
Taste: 13/20
Flavour: 15/20
Buy again: 14/20
Aroma: 7/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 7/10
Intangible: 7/10
Handwritten notes: Oh, is that a long "O"? A malt and stinging alcohol beer. Despite that this beers fronts as an Oktoberfest, Beer Advocate calls it an Altbier. Which, I guess is different that an Sopranbier or Tenbier. This beer tastes like a sour old beer that's past its prime, but that sounds worse than it is. It is actually quite good. Do I taste pretzels? A baked bready-goodness abounds. I often make ho-made soft pretzels and this beer would be a beautiful accompaniment.
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Beer #339 of 3,652

New Belgium Hoptober Golden Ale

New Belgium Hoptober Golden Ale
Type of beer: Ale
Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 6.00%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 74% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.00
Tasted on: 10/28/09

Colours of label: Red/Brown/Green
Drank From: Glass
Label Reads: "Five hops and four malts make Hoptober Golden Ale a veritable cornucopia of the earth. Pale and wheat malt are mashed with rye and oats to create a medium-bodied ale with a creamy mouthfeel. Centennial, Cascade, Sterling, Willamette, and Glacier hops form a bonfire of citrus notes, fruity cheers and a bold finale".
website: www.newbelgium.com
Best for: Rocktober (Or Rock-vember)

Ratings:
Taste: 15/20
Flavour: 15/20
Buy again: 15/20
Aroma: 7/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 7/10
Intangible: 7/10
Handwritten notes: This beer sports a disappearing hop flavour, leaving a cleaner flavour than the "lingering" hop beers. The bitter hops wash away leaving a honey-suckle finish. This beer is professional tasting. Like if it was a human being it would be wearing a neatly pressed suit, its hair combed impeccably to the right, with its white teeth flashing in the noontime sunlight.
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Beer #338 of 3,652

Avery 14'er ESB

Avery 14'er ESB
Type of beer: ESB
Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 5.13%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 74% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.25

Tasted on: 10/27/09
Colours of label: Blue/Yellow/Black
Drank From: Mug
Label Reads: "Big peaks and big brews - thankfully Colorado has an abundance of both. This copper-hued wonderfully happy ale is as beautiful and complex as the fifty-four 14,000 foot mountains for which it is named - 14'Er Extra Special Bitter. Take a hike! Brewed with Rocky Mountain Water, malted barley, hops and yeast."
website: www.averybrewing.com

Best for: Yodeling
Ratings:
Taste: 14/20
Flavour: 15/20
Buy again: 14/20
Aroma: 7/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 7/10
Intangible: 8/10
Handwritten notes: ESB you say? Extra Special is it? Well, this time you're right. This tastes kind of like a good version of the "Oktoberfest" beers I've been swamped with recently. There is a sour and fruity sort of decay on this one that plays off the citrussy hop flavour. This beer tastes like it came from a cellar somewhere. It's very strange, unique, and a very good kisser.
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Beer #337 of 3,652

Samuel Adams Cherry Wheat

Samuel Adams Cherry Wheat
Type of beer: Wheat Ale
Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 5.20%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 21% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.25
Tasted on: 10/27/09
Colours of label: Red/Yellow/Brown

Drank From: Margarita Glass
Label Reads: "Celebrating a centuries old American tradition of brewing with native ingredients, Samuel Adams Cherry Wheat combines Michigan cherries with a generous portions of wheat malt to produce a bright, lively ale with a crisp finish. Cheers!"

website: www.samadams.com
Best for: Playing second base
Ratings:
Taste: 3/20
Flavour: 4/20
Buy again: 2/20
Aroma: 5/10
Satisfaction: 4/10
Complexity: 1/10
Intangible: 2/10
Handwritten notes: Ugh. Any of you who have had Skoal Cherry will know exactly what this beer tastes like. I'm not saying I haven't had my fair share of vitamin "S". I was a ballplayer, in my leaner and younger days. In a weird way this beer also tastes like Cherry Chapstick. You know how it smells good, then you wipe some on your lips and can't help but taste it? Then when you do it's just flavourless wax? That's this beer.

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Beer #336 of 3,652

Boulder Brewing Hazed and Infused

Boulder Brewing Hazed and Infused
Type of beer: Pale Ale
Container Type: 335 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 4.85%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 81% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.25
Tasted on: 10/26/09
Colours of label: Blue/Yellow/Green
Drank From: HP Glass

Label Reads: "Take a trip through the Looking Glass to discover a whole new world of ales from the brewers at Boulder Beer Company, makers of Singletrack, Buffalo Gold and the Boulder Beer family. Introducing Hazed & Infused, the first release in the Looking Glass Series of specialty beers. This unfiltered dry-hopped ale is "hazed" in its natural state and "infused" with Crystal and Centennial hops, creating a flavorful aromatic brew you have to taste to believe."
website: www.boulderbeer.com
Best for: oooh yeah! ooooooh yeah!
Ratings:
Taste: 15/20
Flavour: 16/20
Buy again: 17/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 9/10
Intangible: 8/10
Handwritten notes: This beer has something over and above a punch in the grapefruits. There is a strange and trippy caramelly complexity to this that my taste buds pursue but can never catch. I think Led Zeppelin's first album is pure genius, but have you ever thought about the lyrics to Dazed and Confused? If you just read them (without hearing the music) you would think it was written by a ten year old with ADD. But the song rocks because it's all in the delivery. Just like Neil Young's "Down by the River" - in the solo he plays one note 38 straight times (I counted) but it's perfect. I've gone off the tracks here-- this beer is well worth hunting down cracking open to the nonsensical wailings of one Robert Plant and the mono-tonical strums of Mr. Young.
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Beer #335 of 3,652

Hop Hound Amber Ale

Hop Hound Amber Wheat
Type of beer: 355 mL bottle
Container Type: Pale Ale
Alcohol by volume: 5.30%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 15% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.25
Tasted on: 10/25/09
Colours of label: Red/Yellow/Gold
Drank From: Glass
Label Reads: "Unfiltered American amber wheat ale brewed with a blend of imported and domestic hops for a balanced, slightly citrus hop aroma and caramel, malty taste".
website: http://www.anheuser-busch.com/

Best for: putting a ribbon on your prize pig
Ratings:
Taste: 3/20
Flavour: 2/20
Buy again: 2/20
Aroma: 2/10
Satisfaction: 3/10
Complexity: 2/10
Intangible: 1/10
Handwritten notes: Yuck. Is this gluten-free? Something's missing. As I took a sip my face contorted into the mug of a five year old eating Brussels sprouts for the first time. Personally, I love Brussels sprouts, but this beer is sick. It tastes like crap beer with a bunch of sugar and bran flakes added to it. This is the first Michelob product I have ever had in my life. Good God, America, I am so sorry. I am so sorry you have to deal with this garbage. I imagine this beer is what rednecks buy when they win ten bucks on a scratch and win and want to "spoil themselves".

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Beer #334 of 3,652

Boulder Brewing Mojo IPA

Boulder Brewing Mojo IPA
Type of beer: IPA
Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 7.00%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 75% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.25
Tasted on: 10/25/09
Colours of label: Orange/Yellow/Purple

Drank From: Glass
Label Reads: "Mo-Jo: 1: A magic spell or charm; magical power; 2. Herbaceous ale that summons hop attacks. Our journey through the Looking Glass takes a sharp turn beyond the traditional IPA . . . big, bold and fearless. Light in color with intense hop aroma, MoJo’s “mojo” lies in the power of the Amarillo hops. Fresh and crisp with a slight citrus finish, this brew has become a staff favorite."
website: www.boulderbeer.com
Best for: getting your black cat bone
Ratings:
Taste: 15/20
Flavour: 16/20
Buy again: 16/20
Aroma: 7/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 7/10
Intangible: 6/10
Handwritten notes: To put it "old skool": Grape to the fruit to the grapetty-fruit. Grip-grop-grippity froo! I can't imagine that there is anything about this beer that would set it apart from the overwhelming flood of grapefruit IPAs coming out of the U.S. of A. It's good. Sure. Are we experiencing a golden age, a renaissance of beer, so to speak? What was once revolutionary is now commonplace. Makes ya think.

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Beer #333 of 3,652

Goose Island 312 Urban Wheat Ale

Goose Island 312 Urban Wheat Ale
Type of beer: Wheat Ale
Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 4.20%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 79% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st

Cost: $1.25
Tasted on: 10/24/09
Colours of label: Yellow/Black/Orange
Drank From: Glass
Label Reads: "Serve 312 in a tall glass".
website: www.gooseisland.com
Best for: Revelations. Or Leviticus.
Ratings:
Taste: 15/20
Flavour: 16/20
Buy again: 16/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 7/10
Complexity: 8/10
Intangible: 9/10
Handwritten notes: Here it is, a gloomy fall day and I'm drinking a wheat beer. However, it's a very good wheat beer. A tenor-like lemony taste with the reserved taste of American hops (very reserved) playing perfect alto in the symphony of flavour. Narrative from a balcony: The trees stand bare under grey skies. A nervous homeowner furiously rakes leaves into piles. "daaaady, it's supper tiiiime!" a little girl's voice shouts from a cracked-open front door. A bus roars by, spewing its ash-coloured smoke into concrete sky. The man disregards his daughter's plea and the sound of a metal rake on cold-hardened ground once again echoes through the air. Cigar smoke wafts into my eyes, which (through watered gaze) espy the withered and dead remnants of my tomato and pepper plants (taken prematurely by early frost). The homeowner's automatic garage door lowers with a mechanical thunk. Hallelujah, fall is here.

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Beer #332 of 3,652

Flying Dog Doggie Style Pale Ale

Flying Dog Doggie Style Pale Ale
Type of beer: Pale Ale
Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 5.50%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 77% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.25
Tasted on: 10/24/09

Colours of label: Blue/White/Brown
Drank From: Glass
Label Reads: "Dogs have it figured out. They sleep all day, lick themselves and eat everything but veggies.... Be like the more enlightened species in your house by sipping this classic Pale Ale with its perfect balance of smooth malt and crisp hops. It's so good, you'll want to lap it up like your hound laps up toilet water."
website: www.flyingdogales.com
Best for: Rolling down the street, smoking menthols, sipping on Flying Dog... bee-otch!
Ratings:
Taste: 14/20
Flavour: 15/20
Buy again: 18/20
Aroma: 7/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 7/10
Intangible: 8/10
Handwritten notes: With so much drama in the W.P.G. it's kinda hard being B-A-R-double-D. But I some how, some way, keep coming up with funky ass reviews like every single day. Is this beer the shiznit? Perhaps not, but it is a damn fine pale ale. It's not overpowering with the bitterness but has a nice linger afterwords. Maybe in nine-trizzay this beer would have been revolutionary. Now, I don't want to say it's pedestrian, but it fits the bill in terms of pale ale. It would be a perfect as an everyday beer. So go out and trizzy it before you find yourself flat on your bizzack.
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Beer #331 of 3,652

Leineken Oktoberfest

Leinenkugel's Oktoberfest
Type of beer: Märzen
Container Type: 335 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 5.10%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 20% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st

Cost: $1.15
Tasted on: 10/23/09
Colours of label: Gold/Red/Yellow
Drank From: Glass
Label Reads: "A perfect beer to celebrate the fall season. Featuring Munich, Pale & Caramel Malts. With four specialty hops. Brewed with pride by the Leinenkugel family since 1867", "German-style Märzen", "Carefully brewed by the Leinenkugel family for five generations", "The pride of Chippewa Falls, Wisconsin since 1867".
website: www.leinie.com
Best for: balling up your socks

Ratings:
Taste: 4/20
Flavour: 3/20
Buy again: 4/20
Aroma: 2/10
Satisfaction: 5/10
Complexity: 1/10
Intangible: 1/10
Handwritten notes: Oktopussy galore. A flat and useless form of the Oktoberfest or Märzen genre. From this beer I can't see the appeal. It tastes like a Canadian macro only with less flavour. No, that's not true. It has flavour, but it's a piss-like flavour with no depth. Like a Canadian macro some dude left in his pantry for three years waiting for someone to come over so he could offer them a beer. Then when one of his friends finally comes over, all he has to offer is a crappy, warm, expired beer. I have one Leinie left to review, and hopefully Leinenkugel can redeem itself after this poor showing.
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Beer #330 of 3,652

Red Bridge Gluten-Free Beer

Red Bridge Gluten-Free Beer
Type of beer: Red Lager
Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 4.80%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 8% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.25
Tasted on: 10/23/09
Colours of label: Red/Tan/Black
Drank From: Glass
Label Reads: "Gluten free beer. Made without wheat or barley".
website: www.anheuser-busch.com
Best for: blasting your glutes

Ratings:
Taste: 0/20
Flavour: 1/20
Buy again: 0/20
Aroma: 2/10
Satisfaction: 1/10
Complexity: 2/10
Intangible: 2/10
Handwritten notes: This tastes like some sort of citrus soda - but not "beer citrus", like Lime Crush fake citrus. It's a sour trumpet blast trying to cover up the disgusting "beer extract" taste beneath. It's like spraying Lysol into a car trunk where a dead body has been rotting for weeks. It's not gonna work.

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Beer #329 of 3,652

Coors

Coors
Type of beer: Lager
Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 5.00 %
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 35% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.00

Tasted on: 10/22/09
Colours of label: Yellow/White/Navy
Drank From: Mug
Label Reads: The Legend since 1873", "Banquet", "A brand that has stood the test of time - Brewed with 100% Rocky Mountain water for a legendary taste." "When the mountains turn blue it's as cold as the Rockies!"
website: www.coors.com
Best for: playing it old skool
Ratings:
Taste: 7/20
Flavour: 7/20
Buy again: 9/20
Aroma: 2/10
Satisfaction: 5/10
Complexity: 2/10
Intangible: 3/10
Handwritten notes: To my American brethren, there are a few commonplace US beers that are not sold in Canada: Miller Lite, Coors (original), and anything by Michelob, for example. That's my excuse for never having tried Coors before. It tasted like a Canadian macro, only more watery. Really, though, the more I try it, the more it tastes like a pseudo-craft beer trying its best.
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Beer #328 of 3,652

Bell's Amber Ale

Bell's Amber Ale
Type of beer: Ale
Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 5.50%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 76% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.25
Tasted on: 10/22/09

Colours of label: Maroon/Tan/White
Drank From: Mug
Label Reads: "You hold in your hand the Flagship of the Bell's family, Amber Ale. A unique copper ale crafted from mostly pale malts for a rich sweet flavor unlike any other."
website: www.bellsbeer.com
Best for: Ringin' them bells
Ratings:
Taste: 13/20
Flavour: 15/20
Buy again: 15/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 9/10
Intangible: 8/10
Handwritten notes: The first words I spoke to myself after sipping this beer were "it's actually quite floral". It is, but that's no reason to talk to yourself in a pretentious tone. I have actually heard that talking to yourself is a sign of good mental heath. I care as much about mental health as I do dental health, and I've never flossed in my life. The beer itself is less snobby than that, winding through unknown (or unfamiliar) fruity and flowery countryside. I do like uniqueness, and this 'un has it.
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Beer #327 of 3,652