Spaten Optimator

Spaten Optimator
Type of beer: Doppelbock
Container Type: 12 oz bottle
Alcohol by volume: 7.20%
Country of origin: Germany
Rating: 74% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Drank From: Bit glass
website: http://www.spatenbraeu.de/
Best for: car-pooling
Ratings:
Taste: 14/20
Flavour: 13/20
Buy again: 15/20
Aroma: 13/10
Satisfaction: 7/10
Complexity: 9/10
Intangible: 8/10

Handwritten notes: This tastes very bock-like. I can't tell by the bottle if it's really a bock. If it is, I win. I win the Olympics. If not, then boo. (**Confirmed! I win the Olympics!**). Somehow I find this name to be super bad-ass. But if you go around saying "Spaten Optimator Dopplebock" it sounds like you've got a mouthful of marbles. This has a deep caramel taste with floral notes that I was hoping Beck's Dark would carry. Very smooth and syrupy, but pleasantly so. Well, as they say in Germany, "C'est la vie".

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Beer #508 of 3,652

Michelob Amber Bock

Michelob Amber Bock
Type of beer: Bock
Container Type: 12oz bottle
Alcohol by volume: 5.20%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 61% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Drank From:Glass
website: http://www.michelob.com/
Best for: Hot summer mornings
Ratings:
Taste: 11/20
Flavour: 12/20
Buy again: 12/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 6/10
Complexity: 7/10
Intangible: 5/10

Handwritten notes: Upon the first sip I did declareth "Ahhh, c'mon guys. Who are you trying to fool?" Ah, but the next sip didst foretell gentle hints of vanilla and caramel betwixt the sugary bock. Alas, followed by a flat sugar water sensation. What manner of sorcery is this? T'is strange magic, for sure.

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Beer #502 of 3,652

Tree Brewing Captivator DoppelBock

Tree Brewing Captivator DoppelBock
Type of beer: Doppelbock
Container Type: 650 mL
Alcohol by volume: 8.00%
Country of origin: Canada
Rating: 71% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Drank From: Okto mug
website: http://www.treebeer.com/
Best for: inducing a coma
Ratings:
Taste: 14/20
Flavour: 13/20
Buy again: 13/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 6/10
Intangible: 7/10

Handwritten notes: The initial taste is "Halloween candy" and then a bitter pasty mouth finish. A lovely tummy warming feeling. I brought this puppy home and waited patiently for an overcast rainy day. It was the worst 4 days of my life. But here is the rainy overcast night, sweet warm humid breeze flowing over my nostrils. This beer kind of reminds me of the old Nostadamus doppel. Let's not romanticize, though. This is overall a B+ student. But so was I, so let's go get some tacos.

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Beer #493 of 3,652

Boulevard Brewing Boss Tom's Golden Bock

Boulevard Brewing Boss Tom's Golden Bock
Type of beer: Maibock
Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 6.10%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 56% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.25
Tasted on: 6/28/10
Colours of label: Red/Blue/Tan
Drank From: Red Man Mug

Label Reads: “From 1925 until 1939, Kansas City was controlled by the powerful political boss Thomas J. Pendergast, whose ‘Goat’ faction feuded with rival ‘Rabbits’ for partisan dominance. The atmosphere of graft and lawlessness fostered a boom in jazz clubs and speakeasies, earning our town the title ‘Paris of the Plains.”

website: www.blvdbeer.com
Best for: Sprucing yourself up
Ratings:
Taste: 11/20
Flavour: 10/20
Buy again: 10/20
Aroma: 6/10
Satisfaction: 7/10
Complexity: 6/10
Intangible: 7/10

Handwritten notes: I've never been really wild about anything Boulevard has put out, and this is no exception. This is a mediocre Bock with somewhat of a honey touch, but mostly a fizzy little back biter with a pilsner finish. What makes this a Bock? I'm not really sure and puzzled at my ignorance. I thought a Bock was a high(er) alcohol content brew with the not-unpleasant taste of having slightly "gone off". I don't think that's happened here. I could be wrong, they're the experts, after all.

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Beer #426 of 3,652

Shiner Bock

Shiner Bock
Type of beer: Bock
Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 4.40%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 67% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.25
Tasted on: 6/19/10
Colours of label: Yellow/Brown/Red
Drank From: Glass

Label Reads: "Small town, small brewery. Every drop of shiner beer is brewed right here in shiner, Texas (pop. 2070), by a handful of local craftsmen who take pride in our little brewery and our classic shiner bock first brewed in 1913, this lightly hopped American style bock has a clean flavor and a slightly sweet finish. We hope you enjoy drinking it as much as we enjoyed making it."

website: www.shiner.com
Best for: Plotting and plodding
Ratings:
Taste: 13/20
Flavour: 12/20
Buy again: 14/20
Aroma: 6/10
Satisfaction: 7/10
Complexity: 7/10
Intangible: 8/10
Handwritten notes: It's a Bock day, boys. This Bock is a smooth and sweet (but not too much so) beer. This feels like an even-Steven, even-keel, C+ student beer. It feels like it goes out of its way to appeal to all. And it does - it is not offensive. However, it maintains an amount of boldness that makes it tasty. If I was hosting a beer-pong tournament that used this beer I would call it "Bock & Balls". Ah... hmm. Not funny. Better luck next time, Bard.
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Beer #410 of 3,652

Breckenridge Pandora's Bock

Breckenridge Pandora's Bock
Type of beer: Bock
Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 7.50%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 72% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.25
Tasted on: 6/19/10
Colours of label: Blue/Brown/Red
Drank From: Glass

Label Reads: "Fine Colorado Ales", "Traditional Beer".

website: www.breckbrew.com
Best for: Gettin' the stank off your clothes
Ratings:
Taste: 14/20
Flavour: 13/20
Buy again: 15/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 7/10
Complexity: 8/10
Intangible: 7/10

Handwritten notes: The weight of this beer is like a thick fruit juice. Compared with the other Bock (Shiner Bock, reviewed next), this one has a more musky and fruity taste, washed away with a nippy little bitter bite. I prefer this to Shiner, but it may just be the high ABV creating phastasmic flavours on my palate. "Irregardless", Pandora's Bock is a clever as fuck name and I am a sucker for those. So much so that I think of them in the shower and during my commute. I think I'll create a list of beer names that I've thought up and I think are clever. Public domain. Steal away, brewmasters and brewmistresses. Steal away.
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Note: it appears that many of the beer names I thought up have been used before. I guess I'm not as clever and original as I think.

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Beer #409 of 3,652

Sierra Nevada Glissade Golden Bock

Sierra Nevada Glissade Golden Bock
Type of beer: Maibock
Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 6.40%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 66% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 4th
Cost: $1.25
Tasted on: 6/8/10
Colours of label: Green/Yellow/Orange
Drank From: Bit glass

Label Reads: "Glissade is remarkably mellow, sliding across the palate with layers of subtle malt flavor balanced by a touch of delicate European hops."

website: www.sierranevada.com
Best for: watching the lightning, hearing the thunder, smelling the rain, and feeling alive.
Ratings:
Taste: 12/20
Flavour: 13/20
Buy again: 13/20
Aroma: 6/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 6/10
Intangible: 8/10

Handwritten notes: This so-called bock tastes like a German lager with slightly more alcohol bite. The fact that European hops are used is quite evident in the citrussy and dewy-grassed aromas and flavours. Right away I think of a beer I've only had once in my life - Summit Kölsch. What a strange thing, this human tongue is, to take us back to long forgotten days that our brain since disregarded. Nevertheless, look at the picture on the bottle (a Glade surrounded by forest with mountains in the background). That is this beer. Fresh and unspoiled. It made me think of an old Canadian Short film they used to play at 2:30 a.m. when I was 15 or 16 years old and on summer vacation from high school. The story was a man obsessed with the picture on a can of evaporated milk. I have spent many a futile hour trying to track down video of that old film online. It wasn't particularly good, but I'd like to watch it, say "huh" and walk away. Enjoy your Kölsch! I mean bock.

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Beer #399 of 3,652

Sleeman Bock

Sleeman Bock
Type of beer: Bock
Container Type: 341 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 6.0%
Country of origin: Canada
Rating: 73% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.75
Tasted on: 11/3/09
Colours of label: Gold/Silver/Black
Drank From: Mug
Label Reads: "Recipe book pg. 72. Established 1834", " Brewmaster's tasting notes: Rich caramel toffee and malt aromas with a smooth full body. Brewed with Pale and Munich malt and imported Hallertau hops".
website: www.sleeman.com

Best for: Stepping off the rubber too soon
Ratings:
Taste: 14/20
Flavour: 16/20
Buy again: 12/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 7/10
Intangible: 8/10
Handwritten notes: This Bock sports the toffee and caramel flavours it boasts of. However, it's surprisingly light and not at all syrupy. My main beef with other Bocks is that they taste and drink like the icing on a coffee cake. Not this mofo. I generally like what Sleeman's makes, but they often straddle mediocrity by playing it safe. Make a huge flavour that smacks me in the mouth, boys. C'mon, I have it coming.
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Beer #353 of 3,652

Faxe Festbock

Faxe Festbock
Type of beer: Bock
Container Type: 500 mL can
Alcohol by volume: 7.7%
Country of origin: Denmark
Rating: 72% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $2.60
Tasted on: 7/31/09

Colours of label: Green/Gold/Red
Drank From: Glass
Label Reads: "Danish Bock beer".
website: www.faxe.com
Best for: buying jumper cables
Ratings:
Taste: 14/20
Flavour: 15/20
Buy again: 13/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 7/10
Intangible: 7/10
Handwritten notes: I had this can of Faxe Bock sitting around the fridge for a long time. You see, beer tasting to me is a lot like opening presents, or taking STD tests. I like to be surprised. Even if a beer sticks to its script, I like to note little differences that differentiate the brands. I just knew that this would be a plain old Bock. And it was. It has a sherry like sweetness with a back of the throat tang. It’s a good Bock, don’t get me wrong. I’m not sayin’… I’m just sayin’.

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Beer #254 of 3,652

EKU 28

EKU 28
Type of beer: Bock
Container Type: 500 mL can
Alcohol by volume: 11.0%
Country of origin: Germany
Rating: 73% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 2nd
Cost: $3.50
Tasted on: 8/1/09
Colours of label: Grey/Gold/Red
Drank From: Glass
Label Reads: Something German
website: n/a
Best for: Summoning the sandman

Ratings:
Taste: 13/20
Flavour: 15/20
Buy again: 12/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 10/10
Complexity: 8/10
Intangible: 7/10
Handwritten notes: I have had this beer twice in my life, and each time I was unconscious within 1 hour of drinking it. This kind of sucked because I was not prepared to have my day end at 4:00 in the afternoon. Oh well, caveat consumptor I guess. Caveat consumptor? Does that even mean anything? I actually forgot about the first time I tried this beer until my lips met the syrupy candy man taste of this beer the second time. I gather that the beer is a bock of some sort or another. The pervading taste is Kraft Caramels – you know, the ones you get at Halloween. Gute Nacht!!
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Beer #253 of 3,652

Dunkler Doppelbock

Dunkler Doppelbock
Type of beer: Doppelbock
Container Type: 500 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 8.9%
Country of origin: Germany
Rating: 73% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $4.80
Tasted on: 7/4/09
Colours of label: Brown/Gold
Drank From: Bears Mug
Label Reads: German
website: www.lauterbacher.de
Best for: Planning a surprise birthday party
Ratings:
Taste: 14/20
Flavour: 14/20
Buy again: 13/20
Aroma: 7/10
Satisfaction: 9/10
Complexity: 8/10
Intangible: 8/10

Handwritten notes: This is more of a lager-y type of taste, hops up front, but sweet behind. (Ha ha, sweet behind, too rich). A smooth and deceptively strong bock. You think it's all cool and then all of a sudden you're reminiscing about old times. A nice balance of everything a guy loves about beer: malt, some hops, and a nice wheaty texture.

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Beer #210 of 3,652

Nostradamus Doppelbock

Nostradamus Doppelbock
Type of beer: Doppelbock
Container Type: 500 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 9.0%
Country of origin: Germany
Rating: 68% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $4.80
Tasted on: 7/3/09
Colours of label: Blue/Silver/White
Drank From: Hoegaarden Glass
Label Reads: "Millennium - Premium", and some German what-not.
website: www.lauterbacher.de
Best for: De-prickting things
Ratings:
Taste: 13/20
Flavour: 13/20
Buy again: 12/20
Aroma: 7/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 7/10
Intangible: 8/10

Handwritten notes: Just like Nostradamus, this beer is misunderstood and mis-quoted. It also has a beard and is very sweet on the inside. It kind of tastes like that "Halloween Candy" you used to get as a kid. You know, the crap wrapped in wax paper with pictures of pumpkins and ghosts on it, but no brand name? I love that stuff. It has a kind of caramel and sweet sugar taste without being dumb about it. This beer is very candy like, and thus not quite refreshing or thirst-quenching. But it is a good beer nonetheless.

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Beer #209 of 3,652

Summit Maibock

Summit Maibock
Type of beer: Bock
Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol volume: 6.7%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 66% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $0.90
Tasted on: 5/26/09
Colours of label: Brown/Blue/Green
Drank From: Glass
Label Reads: "Est. 1986, St. Paul, Minnesota".
website: www.summitbrewing.com
Best for: listening to Kraftwerk while eating perogies
Ratings:
Taste: 12/20
Flavour: 13/20
Buy again: 12/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 7/10
Intangible: 6/10

Handwritten notes: A proper maibock, but still not my favourite type of brew... a sweet and rounded, good-smelling beer for making the spring twilight blur into obscurity... A spring beer. I fully intended to transcribe a quote from Thoreau's "Walden", the chapter on spring. I actually had it all typed out and ready to go. But then I thought that was really the action of a pretentious dick with 2 University degrees and nothing to show for it but a pile of student loans. So instead I will "get outta MAI dreams, get into my car!!". Ah, that's more low-brow, uh?

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Beer #158 of 3,652

Schell Maifest

Schell Maifest
Type of beer: Bock
Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol volume: 7.2%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 54% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.00
Tasted on: 5/24/09
Colours of label: Yellow/Green/Brown
Drank From: Mug

Label Reads: "August Schell Maifest combines the traditions of Germany with the heritage craftsmanship of our legendary brewery. A full-bodied blonde double bock, Maifest is brewed for people of substance by Minnesotans since 1860."

website: www.schellsbrewery.com/
Best for: making apple-head dolls
Ratings:
Taste: 10/20
Flavour: 11/20
Buy again: 9/20
Aroma: 6/10
Satisfaction: 7/10
Complexity: 6/10
Intangible: 5/10

Handwritten notes: sickly sweet, sort of British tasting... smooth, but with no bite... and odd sour type of taste and a little too round, tasting of Canadian lager or "pilsner"... the more I try it, the more it's yucky in my tummy-tum.

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Beer #156 of 3,652