Inveralmond Blackfriar

Inveralmond Blackfriar
Type of beer: Scottish Ale
Container Type: 500 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 7.00%
Country of origin: Scotland
Rating: 70% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Drank From: Glass
website: http://www.inveralmond-brewery.co.uk/
Best for: learning about giraffes
Ratings:
Taste: 13/20
Flavour: 14/20
Buy again: 13/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 9/10
Complexity: 7/10
Intangible: 7/10

Handwritten notes: Not bad. Not super-d-duper but head and shoulders above the usual swill I've been drinking. What does that mean, "head and shoulders"? Oh, I get it. I love analogies that are self explanatory. This is not really the classic Scottish Ale, it has a syrupy citrus bite. Weird. Like a candied orange or a lemon cake.

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Beer #451 of 3,652

Harviestoun Old Engine Oil

Harviestoun Old Engine Oil
Type of beer: Porter
Container Type: 330 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 6.00%
Country of origin: Scotland
Rating: 72% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Drank From: Glass
website: http://www.harviestoun.com/
Best for: Watching a docu-drama
Ratings:
Taste: 13/20
Flavour: 15/20
Buy again: 15/20
Aroma: 7/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 7/10
Intangible: 7/10

Handwritten notes: Another Harviestoun offering - not as complex as the Ola Dubh but a fine stand in for those of you on a budget who can only afford $4 per beer instead of $6. The fact that this beer is a bit lighter compared to "Ola" makes the chocolate notes a bit more creamier, milkier. Perhaps the name had me prejudicially turning up my nose - I figured this would be a thick bitter brew. Not so.

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Beer #447 of 3,652

Belhaven Twisted Thistle IPA

Belhaven Twisted Thistle IPA
Type of beer: IPA
Container Type: 500 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 6.10%
Country of origin: Scotland
Rating: 78% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $unknown
Tasted on: 7/9/10
Colours of label: Purple/White/Gold
Drank From: HP Glass

Label Reads: "A refreshing example of an India Pale Ale from the master brewers at Belhaven. The blend of Cascade and Challenger hops combine to produce an abundance of fresh hop aroma that preludes a bitter-dry taste explosion. Crafted from nearly three centuries of brewing heritage at Scotland's oldest independent brewery, this ale from Belhaven will have your taste buds tingling."

website: www.belhaven.co.uk/
Best for: Killing your Friday slowly
Ratings:
Taste: 15/20
Flavour: 14/20
Buy again: 17/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 9/10
Complexity: 7/10
Intangible: 8/10

Handwritten notes: A thank heavens IPA. This beer reminds one that IPA must not necessarily mean a throat slashing bitterness and a citrus fruit basket banana hammock slapping you in the face. This seems to have a grassy bitterness and a dewy, mouth sharpening flavour. The perfect end to a long-ass week is opening a box of beer shipped East from some hoser in Alberta and pulling out "soiled gold" beers. Aah. I generally hate people who say "have a good weekend" and wish them nothing but sorrow and cancer, but to all of you peoples out there: have a good weekend!

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Beer #419 of 3,652

Harviestoun Ola Dubh

Harviestoun Ola Dubh
Type of beer: Ale
Container Type: 330 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 8.0%
Country of origin: Scotland
Rating: 83% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $7.25
Tasted on: 7/5/10
Colours of label: Black/Orange/White
Drank From: Glass

Label Reads: "Ale Matured in Whisky Casks". "Aged in selected oak casks, formerly used to mature Highland Park's beautifully balanced 12 year Old Single Malt Scotch Whiskey.", "Ola Dubh (or 'Black Oil') is so named because it is gloopy and viscous. This limited release has been matured in casks from Orkney's award-winning Highland Park distillery to add complementary whisky notes to what is already an amazing brew. It is chocolaty with a roasty, bittersweet aftertaste. " "Highland Park is made with the same enduring belief and integrity, to the same exacting standards, as it has been since 1798. That's why it's the most respected single malt in the world, recently named Distiller of the Year. Like our friends at Highland Park, we at Harviestoun are passionate about quality. We hope you can enjoy this Ola Dubh Special Reserve and you feel that our efforts to brew one of the world's finest beers have been worthwhile".

website: www.harviestoun.com
Best for: Purchasing contraband sound systems
Ratings:
Taste: 17/20
Flavour: 17/20
Buy again: 13/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 9/10
Complexity: 9/10
Intangible: 10/10

Handwritten notes: Wow! A deep and dark milk chocolate with an ever-present bitterness. It is thick like a glass of chocolate milk. I used to like chocolate milk as a kid. Now, the thought of chugging another animal's bodily fluids as a thrist quencher on a hot day is just disgusting. But this beer has something more than that, a hidden woodiness that suits the chocolate malt just perfect. Screw my objection to dark beer in the summer. This is the cat's meow.

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Beer #418 of 3,652

Brew Dog Storm IPA

Brew Dog Storm IPA
Type of beer: IPA
Container Type: 330 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 8.0%
Country of origin: Scotland
Rating: 68% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $7.25
Tasted on: 4/7/10
Colours of label: Blue/Navy/White
Drank From: HP Glass

Label Reads: "At BrewDog we are selfish; we only make beers that we want to drink. This is not an unerring, despondent half hearted compromise. This bottle contains are IPA which has been aged in Scottish Islay whiskey casks. The combination of Islay whisky casks and New Zealand hops is one of polar opposites on many levels. Drinking this beer is like being caught in the eye of a force 12 North Atlantic storm. Heavily peated demonic smoked Islay whiskey and the fruity hop flavors of our IPA should not go well together. Nor should mild pretentiousness and exponential cool. However at BrewDog we are pretty sure we can rock it out and make both admirable combinations work reasonably well. Zeitgeist in a bottle. Serving suggestion. Don;t put your Strom in a tea cup. Don;t put your Storm in a double D cup. No one likes things blown out of proportion. Maybe you should just grow up and try a glass?

website: www.brewdog.com/
Best for: killing zombies
Ratings:
Taste: 12/20
Flavour: 13/20
Buy again: 12/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 9/10
Complexity: 8/10
Intangible: 6/10

Handwritten notes: This is a truly original beer. It smells like the drippings in the foil after you unwrap a brisket after a 12-hour smoke. The taste is immediately offensive, all up in your grill like a 10 year-old having a tantrum. It's a malty-scotchy-oaken-hoppy mouth bomb. There is some "punk rock" connexion with this beer. It therefore wants to appear complex, angry, and obnoxious. But the 8% ABV hits you and all of a sudden you are humming "I know what I want and I know how to get it... I wanna destroy...". I drank this beer but I'm not sure what to think of it. If this beer was a human being and I looked over in traffic and it was driving its Jetta I would pull over and wait for it to pass. Huh??? Enjoy.

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Beer #389 of 3,652

Inveralmond Ossian

Inveralmond Ossian
Type of beer: Scottish Ale
Container Type: 500 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 4.1%
Country of origin: Scotland
Rating: 81% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st

Cost: $4.55
Tasted on: 11/12/09
Colours of label: Gold/Orange/Black
Drank From: HP Glass
Label Reads: "Ossian, Son of Fingal, was a legendary 3rd century Scottish warrior. Sir Walter Scott wrote:’In this still glen, remote from men, Sleeps Ossian, in the narrow glen’ This superb golden ale continues to win awards including, in its cask version, the Champion Beer of Scotland. It is perilously smooth and drinkable with distinct nutty tones and fruitiness. First Gold, Perle and Cascade hops create our unique spicy orange zesty aroma and refreshing flavour."
website: www.inveralmond-brewery.co.uk
Best for: playing the spoons
Ratings:
Taste: 15/20
Flavour: 16/20
Buy again: 17/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 7/10
Complexity: 9/10
Intangible: 9/10
Handwritten notes: Hooooooo-wheee! A beautifully hopped piece of honey-suckle gold. Sweet, but not "sweet-sweet", bitter, but not "bitter-bitter". As complex as a Philosophy graduate student, and just as likely to land a good job. But I guarantee if you sit down with this mo-fo you'll become enlightened, and come to a fuller understanding of Heraclitian flux. Honestly, folks, I'm not as pretentious as I sound. I'm smart, but not "smart-smart". I can drive stick shift while talking on the phone and eating a hamburger and smoking a cigar. Anyways, the beer's good.

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Beer #365 of 3,652

Innis & Gunn Triple Matured

Innis & Gunn Triple Matured
Type of beer: Ale
Container Type: 330 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 7.2%
Country of origin: Scotland
Rating: 84% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st

Cost: $6.50
Tasted on: 9/29/09
Colours of label: Blue/Gold/White
Drank From: HP Glass
Label Reads: "Brewed in small batches", "Hand-Crafted Scottish Beer", "Scottish beer triple matured in selected oak barrels", "We are delighted to present this limited bottling of Innis & Gunn which has been TRIPLE MATURED in select oak barrels. The result unique process is a seriously smooth beer with enormous depth of flavour. We hope you enjoy this beer as much as we do".
website: www.innisandgunn.com
Best for: Trippin'
Ratings:
Taste: 17/20
Flavour: 17/20
Buy again: 15/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 10/10
Complexity: 9/10
Intangible: 8/10
Handwritten notes: Dear God - a caramelly, stouty 'splosion. This makes me happy I bought a single beer in a box despite the fact that it's the definition of pretentious. This is like a kiss from an angel, but not a male angel with a handle-bar moustache who smells of KFC and old spice and kisses you behind the dumpster of some high school. No sir. It's like a kiss form a bona-fide angel who (I guess) died as a hot chick. I am "sassified". And I can always tell when I'm sassified, cuz I start calling the beer's name, like Innis & Gunn... Innis & Gunn...Innis & Gunn...Innis & Gunn...Innis & Gunn... oooooooh, shit, Innis & Gunn.

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Beer #308 of 3,652

Innis & Gunn Blonde

Innis & Gunn Blonde
Type of beer: Pale Ale
Container Type: 330 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 6.0%
Country of origin: Scotland
Rating: 74% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $3.80

Tasted on: 9/27/09
Colours of label: Blue/Gold/White
Drank From: Glass
Label Reads: "Brewed in small batches", "Fruity Scottish beer with refreshing hints of vanilla and oak", "Hand-crafted Scottish beer", "American oak is seamed with flavour, which Innis & Gunn unlocks using a unique style of maturation that imparts a light vanilla oak character to this fruity blonde beer".
website: www.innisandgunn.com
Best for: Gunning it
Ratings:
Taste: 15/20
Flavour: 16/20
Buy again: 13/20
Aroma: 7/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 8/10
Intangible: 7/10
Handwritten notes: A sweet and strongly flavoured, truly unique beer. Usually I am very susceptible to advertising persuasion, but I tasted no vanilla. Really, I didn't even taste any fruit. It tasted like the old dresser drawers of a rich man, like premium oak and liqour. This pale ale uses its full-body better than most beers do. It may be a natural blonde, but I can't really say much more than that without making some "nice gunns" joke. Ah, fuck, I just did.
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Beer #307 of 3,652

Traquair Laird's Liquor

Traquair Laird's Liquor
Type of beer: Scottish Ale
Container Type: 330 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 6.0%
Country of origin: Scotland
Rating: 68% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $4.75
Tasted on: 8/14/09
Colours of label: Black/White/Grey
Drank From: Red Man Mug

Label Reads: "Traquair House Brewery lies in one of the wings of Traquair, Scotland's Oldest Inhabited House. The twenty one Lairds of Traquair have brewed traditional Scottish Ales here for over 500 years and have been strong Jacobites who supported the Stuart monarchy. The Lairds Liquor is testament to their courage and convictions. It is a rich dark ale with a hint of liquorice perfect for winter evenings and plotting rebellions."

website: www.traquair.co.uk/brewery.html

Best for: See the label description above. Nice work, guys.

Ratings:
Taste: 13/20
Flavour: 14/20
Buy again: 12/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 7/10
Intangible: 6/10

Handwritten notes: This beer comes across as more of a stout than a scotch ale. There is a metallic undertone reminiscent of a stout, with the corresponding dark chocolate, roasted caramel, and burnt marshmallows. But I guess it says "ale" on the bottle, so who am I to second-guess? Well, I'm some faceless loudmouth running an unsuccessful beer blog, that's who. Overall, this ruddy bugger is not worth the pricetag. That's a very Scottish thing to say, and I stand behind it.

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Beer #271 of 3,652

Traquair Jacobite Ale

Traquair Jacobite Ale
Type of beer: Scotch Ale
Container Type: 330 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 8.0%
Country of origin: Scotland
Rating: 76% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $4.75
Tasted on: 8/13/09
Colours of label: Black/White
Drank From: Glass

Label Reads: "The famous Bear Gates guarding the approach to Traquair House, near Pebbles, have been closed since 1745 – when the last person to pass through them was Bonnie Prince Charlie. Now, 250 years later, the ancient Traquair Brew House celebrates the Jacobite cause by producing this potent spiced ale to a traditional fine recipe. Sip slowly and remember the old toast to the "King O’er the Water."

website: www.traquair.co.uk/brewery.html
Best for: shopping for button-fly jeans
Ratings:
Taste: 15/20
Flavour: 15/20
Buy again: 12/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 9/10
Complexity: 9/10
Intangible: 8/10

Handwritten notes: I have to give this beer its due, despite the fact that spiced beers are not really my thang. This bugger has a dark and slightly smoky hideout wherein black liquorice and other spices (coriander?) carefully cover up the evidence of the alcohol content. But there is a sweet swirl of Nyquil indicative of a Scottish Ale that would make me think twice about drinking this on an empty stomach again.

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Beer #270 of 3,652

Innis & Gunn Canadian Cask

Innis & Gunn Canadian Cask
Type of beer: Ale
Container Type: 330 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 7.1%
Country of origin: Scotland
Rating: 77% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $4.99
Tasted on: 6/13/09
Colours of label: Gold/Red/White
Drank From: Glass

Label Reads: "We are delighted to present this limited edition Innis & Gunn beer which has been bottled in celebration of Canada Day 2009. We hand-select oak barrels that are packed with delicious flavours to brew Innis & Gunn. Over many weeks our unique maturation slowly unlocks the flavours from deep inside the oak grain, the beer slowly growing in character with every hour that passes. Only when it has matured to perfection do we bottle and release it. We hope you enjoy this beer as much as we do.", "Brewed in small batches", "Hand-crafted Scottish beer", "Oak Aged like no other beer".

website: www.innisandgunn.com
Best for: "Canada day celebrations"
Ratings:
Taste: 14/20
Flavour: 17/20
Buy again: 15/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 7/10
Intangible: 8/10

Handwritten notes: This little beauty came in a red box (pictured above) with a lot more writing that I don't really care to spend hours re-typing. Needless to say, I & G have used Canadian Whiskey barrels to make this beer. Unlike Americans, Canadians don't approach their national holiday with the relish of a 5 year old on Christmas morning. We opt instead for dignity. That and getting drunk on crappy beer. While there may be crying, it is usually directed at some repressed childhood memory, and not because of the beauty of "Oh Canada", or some phony patriotism. This is a powerful, powerful wood-tasting beer. It tastes like Canadian whiskey, but in a good way (as I am not generally a fan of Canadian whiskey). In fact, this beer tastes better than any Canadian whiskey I have ever had. This is such a rarely honest taste that I cannot tell a lie. Good on ya!

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Beer #194 of 3,652

Innis & Gunn Original (Oak)

Innis & Gunn Original (Oak Aged)
Type: Scottish Ale
Container Type: 330 mL bottle
Alcohol volume: 6.6%
Country of origin: Scotland
Rating: 84% (see below)
Number of times I've had this type: 4
Cost: $3.60
Tasted on: 4/15/09
Colours of label: Maroon/Gold/White
Drank From: muggsy

Label Reads: "For 30 days this honey-hued beer matures in hand selected oak barrels, gradually absorbing the subtle flavours from the wood. Barrels are then emptied and maturation continues for a further 47 days allowing these natural flavours to fall into perfect balance".

website: www.innisandgunn.com/
Best for: pinchin' pennies
Ratings:
Taste: 18/20
Flavour: 18/20
Buy again: 15/20
Aroma: 9/10
Satisfaction: 9/10
Complexity: 810
Intangible: 7/10

Handwritten notes: powerful, distinctive flavour. Once you've had one, you'll never get that taste out of your mind... old oak taste with great malty undertones... a kind of old, but fresh taste. Does that make sense? If you've had this beer, it does. **In hindsight I've had 5 of these now and I had no idea it was 6.6% alcohol.**

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Beer #91 of 3,652

McEwan's Scotch Ale

McEwan's Scotch Ale
Type: Ale
Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol volume: 8.0%
Country of origin: Scotland
Rating: 72% (see below)
Number of times I've had this type: 2nd
Cost: $2.60
Tasted on: 4/11/09
Colours of label: Yellow/Red/Green
Drank From: glass
Label Reads: "Brewed by Scottish Courage Ltd., Edinburgh, Scotland"
website: n/a
Best for: before the black eye
Ratings:
Taste: 13/20
Flavour: 14/20
Buy again: 12/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 9/10
Complexity: 8/10
Intangible: 8/10
Handwritten notes: Malty, sweet and sugary/rich... something is off - too fizzy for its own good... pretty good, but not my cup of tea.
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Beer #76 of 3,652

Inveralmond Lia Fail

Lia Fail
Type: Ale
Container Type: 500 mL
Alcohol volume: 4.7%
Country of origin: Scotland
Rating: 89% (see below)
Number of times I've had this type: first
Cost: $4.55
Tasted on: 4/3/09

Colours of bottle: Orange/Red/Gold/Black
Drank From: Bears
Label Reads: "Lia Fail is Gaelic for 'stone of destiny', which for centuries was the coronation stone of the Kings of the Scots. Taken from its Perthshire home at Scone in 1296 by Edward I, it was finally returned to Edinburgh Castle in 1996. Like the stone our ale is proud and robust. A dark beer with a well balanced sweetness, malt and chocolate tones. Challenger, Fuggles, and Cascade hops produce a rich and spicy aroma with a balanced bitterness and full-bodied flavour. Ensuring premium quality is paramount, which is why we use whole leaf hops in our brewery."

website:http://www.inveralmond-brewery.co.uk/bottle_laifail.htm
Best for: religious experiences
Ratings:
Taste: 19/20
Flavour: 19/20
Buy again: 18/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 9/10
Intangible: 8/10
Complexity: 8/10
Handwritten notes: Dear Jesus, thank you for this... perfect balance of burnt sugar, with a full fuckin' body... smooth... I am getting spoiled by these low alcohol, high taste European pieces of gold.
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Beer #55 of 3,652