Lucky Bucket Certified Evil

Lucky Bucket Certified Evil
Type of beer: Dark Ale
Container Type: 12 oz bottle
Alcohol by volume: 12.50%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 76% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 4th
Drank From: HP Glass
website: http://www.luckybucketbrewing.com/
Best for: Climbing ropes
Ratings:
Taste: 15/20
Flavour: 14/20
Buy again: 16/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 7/10
Complexity: 8/10
Intangible: 8/10

Handwritten notes: Ahhh.... hmmm. A strange dark Ale full of evil. I'm not sure if beer companies use names like this to hype their beer for the same reason that specialty hot sauces use names like "suicide" "mouth inferno" and "scrotum piercing". This beer has that old chocolate malt but... bah? Bitter hops? The taste lingering on the palate is porter but the lingering sensation is bitterness. Well, on that note, I'm shnockered.

---------------------------------------------
Beer #541 of 3,652

HaandBryggriet Odin's Tipple

HaandBryggriet Odin's Tipple
Type of beer: Imperial Stout
Container Type: 500 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 11.00%
Country of origin: Denmark
Rating: 84% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Drank From: Glass
website: http://www.haandbryggeriet.net/
Best for: Polling the electorate
Ratings:
Taste: 17/20
Flavour: 16/20
Buy again: 14/20
Aroma: 9/10
Satisfaction: 10/10
Complexity: 9/10
Intangible: 9/10

Handwritten notes: I am writing this prior to sipping, It poured like zombie blood with a fizz-less moan like a tortured soul. Alright, let's see what a $10 beer tastes like...

Zombie blood. Thick, dark, soulless alcohol swimming in a french-press coffee brine. I would hate to be future Bard right now. The ABV is not overpowering, but omnipresent. Omnipotent even. I've never had a beer with this texture before. It begs to be sipped slowly, the port of beers. Gosh almighty. Great Caesar's Ghost! Oh... I mean BY ODIN'S BEARD!

...I'm writing this the next day. After 3/4 of this beer I gently folded my hands over my chest and closed my eyes. And woke up 2 hours later.

---------------------------------------------
Beer #495 of 3,652

Stack High Gravity Lager

Stack High Gravity Lager
Type of beer: Lager
Container Type: 24 oz can
Alcohol by volume: 12.00%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 1% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Drank From: 14 shot glasses and a swig from the can
website: n/a
Best for: a cheap alternative to Novocaine
Ratings:
Taste: 0/20
Flavour: 0/20
Buy again: 0/20
Aroma: 0/10
Satisfaction: 0/10
Complexity: 0/10
Intangible: 1/10
Handwritten notes: **The notes appear to be incoherent random assortments of letters and shapes, some of which appear to be anti-Semitic. 1 point because I actually drank the thing and didn't barf.**
---------------------------------------------
Beer #442 of 3,652

Dogfish Head Palo Santo Marron

Dogfish Head Palo Santo Marron
Type of beer: Brown Ale
Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 12.00%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 86% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $unknown
Tasted on: 7/10/10
Colours of label: Pink/Brown/Turquoise
Drank From: Glass

Label Reads: “An unfiltered, unfettered, unprecedented brown ale aged in handmade wooden brewing vessels. The caramel and vanilla complexity unique to this beer comes from the exotic Paraguayan Palo Santo wood from which these tanks were crafted. At 10,000 gallons each, these are the largest wooden brewing vessels built in America since before Prohibition. It's all very exciting. We have wood. Now you do to.”

website: http://www.dogfish.com/
Best for: easing on down the road
Ratings:
Taste: 16/20
Flavour: 14/20
Buy again: 17/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 10/10
Complexity: 7/10
Intangible: 9/10

Handwritten notes: Ah, my first beer from the renowned Dogfish Head. They need my good review like Carrot Top needs another freckle. Even so, this is a throat-wrenching dark ale that brings forth instant beads of love sweat to my forehead on a sticky summer night. I am drawn to a comparison to Ola Dubh in the way that this beer coats your mouth in happiness. A balsamic, peppery spiciness abounds. Wowwza. Hey, what's with the clever ass label? How much did you pay Steve Martin to write that joke for you? Maybe it's just me, but I would have wrote: "this beer will make blood flow to your genitalia!!". Cut to the fuckin' chase.

---------------------------------------------
Beer #433 of 3,652

Flying Dog Double Dog

Flying Dog Double Dog Double Pale Ale
Type of beer: Pale Ale
Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 11.50%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 79% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.25
Tasted on: 6/27/10
Colours of label: Brown/Yellow/White
Drank From: Ginny Glass

Label Reads: "Most versions of a Double Pale Ale are full-frontal, power-hopped, bitter bombs that leave you feeling a bit short changed on the back end. Our Double Dog is brewed with copious amounts of hops for an unrelenting hop bitterness and aroma. We just have the common courtesy to finish you off with a well-balanced, rich and full body, complete with a hint of sweetness."

website: www.flyingdogales.com
Best for: filling up on bread
Ratings:
Taste: 16/20
Flavour: 15/20
Buy again: 18/20
Aroma: 7/10
Satisfaction: 9/10
Complexity: 7/10
Intangible: 7/10

Handwritten notes: A sweet ass, bitter hopped master of disaster that swoops in, punches you in the stomach, and flies off singing B-I-N-G-O and liquor was his name-o. See, flying dog, I can do dog shtick too. But really folks, this beer has the whole gamut of pale ale flavours in a bubbly, syrupy booze stew. Dig in!

---------------------------------------------
Beer #424 of 3,652

Flying Dog Horn Dog Barley Wine

Flying Dog Horn Dog Barley Wine

Type of beer: Barleywine

Container Type: 355 mL bottle

Alcohol by volume: 10.50%

Country of origin: United States

Rating: 70% (see below)

Number of times I've had this beer: 1st

Cost: $1.25

Tasted on: 6/18/10

Colours of label: Blue/Purple/Yellow

Drank From: Ginny glass

Label Reads: “Horn Dog is a big, malty monster of a beer. Fortunately, its wrath is moderately hopped and tastes like licorice and chocolate. Horn is such a robust beast that we have to keep it caged and contained at the brewery for a couple months before letting it integrate with the public.”

website: www.flyingdogales.com

Best for: After.

Ratings:

Taste: 12/20

Flavour: 14/20

Buy again: 12/20

Aroma: 7/10

Satisfaction: 9/10

Complexity: 7/10

Intangible: 7/10

Handwritten notes: This is a syrupy mouth explosion but not a hop firework. The pungent aroma of boozy pineapple presents itself but the taste is of a smoothly-bitter beer with an almost whiskey-like aftertaste. This beer is heart and stomach warming, leaving a lingering bite in the back of the throat making it hard to forget. There's something missing, though, to my mind. Like (go with me here) it could have stood up to a bunch of bitter-ass hops with a million + IBUs and still fared well. Finally, I'm sick of this company's "dog" beer names. Enough. The only way to win me back now is to do a beer called "Dirt Dog Dirty Bastard Ale".

---------------------------------------------

Beer #411 of 3,652

Alley Kat KGB Russian Imperial Stout

Alley Kat KGB Russian Imperial Stout
Type of beer: Imperial Stout
Container Type: 650 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 10.0%
Country of origin: Canada
Rating: 85% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $unknown
Tasted on: 3/14/10
Colours of label: Maroon/White/Black
Drank From: Glass
Label Reads: "Extra strong beer", "We have ways of making you drink, comrade".
website: www.alleykatbeer.com
Best for: Pissing in the sink, just for a change of pace
Ratings:
Taste: 17/20
Flavour: 18/20
Buy again: 17/20
Aroma: 7/10
Satisfaction: 10/10
Complexity: 7/10
Intangible: 9/10

Handwritten notes: By special request, I am tasting this badass beer tonight. Props to my homie from the FMC for this brain-boggler. I opened and poured it thinking maybe I was the butt of some elaborate practical joke, and that the contents of the bottle were replaced with NyQuil. Nope. This street-tar stout attacks your brain like the Blob. There are powerful, powerful chocolate and coffee notes in this stout that are outrageously present. The thing I like the most about this beer, besides the fact that I don't need to worry about losing an hour of sleep tonight (friggin' daylight savings time) is the brash bitterness. It is a perfect cover for the omnipresent alcohol content. It's like what Lenin said... you look for the person who will benefit, and, uhhhh....

---------------------------------------------
Beer #383 of 3,652

Half Pints Burly Wine

Half Pints Burly Wine
Type of beer: Barleywine
Container Type: 341 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 10.5%
Country of origin: Canada
Rating: 93% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $6.50
Tasted on: 12/28/09
Colours of label: Gold/Brown/Red
Drank From: HP Glass
Label Reads: "The Winnipeg winter warmer", ""craft brewed in Winnipeg MB Canada".
website: www.halfpintsbrewing.com
Best for: wind-swept winter eves
Ratings:
Taste: 18/20
Flavour: 19/20
Buy again: 19/20
Aroma: 9/10
Satisfaction: 10/10
Complexity: 8/10
Intangible: 10/10

Handwritten notes: Being the Half Pints beer I'd hear the most about and never tried, I had some pretty high expectations of this selection. This is a lovely and hoppy warmer. It has an almost syrupy consistency, but not boozy (believe it or not). I had visions of some huge liquor bomb that would send me reeling into tearful childhood memories of past Christmases. Instead it just brought me to the rosy-cheeked days of Christmas present. Wow. What can I say that ain't already been said about this beer? If it was a woodwind instrument, this beer would be a bassoon. Whew, that ABV sneaks up on you...

--------------------------------------------
Beer #382 of 3,652

Brooklyn Brewery Black Chocolate Stout

Brooklyn Brewery Black Chocolate Stout
Type of beer: Stout

Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 10.0%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 74% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $3.75
Tasted on: 12/1/09
Colours of label:Black/Gold/White

Drank From: Glass
Label Reads: "In the last century, British brewers made strong stouts for the Czar's Court. They were called Imperial Stouts. Our Black Chocolate Stout, brewed once yearly for the winter season, achieves a a chocolate aroma and flavor through the artful blending of six varieties of black, chocolate and roasted malts."
website: www.brooklynbrewery.com
Best for: Watching College Football
Ratings:
Taste: 13/20
Flavour: 15/20
Buy again: 14/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 10/10
Complexity: 7/10
Intangible: 7/10
Handwritten notes: Bitter as a winter's eve. What's the IBUs on this? This beer is more vicious than a steaming cup of Verona. Why do coffee and chocolate taste so much alike? I've got a lot of thinkins about a lot of things, but botany is not one of them. Also, what's the deal with Coffee Crisp chocolate bars? Do they have those in the US? Also, why do they call Rockets "Smarties" in the US? Our "Smarties" are actually a better version of M & M's. How can you have Halloween without Coffee Crisp, Rockets, and Smarties? The first 3 Americans to email me the name of their favourite Star Trek episode will receive, gratis, by mail, a sample of Coffee Crisp, Smarties, and Rockets. Maybe it's the liquor talking. What did Winston Churchill say about making promises while drinking? Anyhow, bring it on yanks. This beer is good.

---------------------------------------------
Beer #373 of 3,652

Boulder Mojo Risin Double IPA

Boulder Mojo Risin' Double IPA
Type of beer: IPA
Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 10.0%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 80% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $2.00
Tasted on: 10/19/09
Colours of label: Blue/Orange/Yellow
Drank From: Glass

Label Reads: " In a moment of creative chaos, our brewers at Boulder Beer Company decided to take our hopalicious MoJo India Pale Ale to the next level. The Result - MoJo Risin' Double IPA, a souped-up, extreme version of the one and only MoJo IPA. We added more than half a ton of extra malt and twice the amount of Amarillo hops, so be prepared for a full sensory explosion. The double dry-hop addition elevates the grapefruit-like aroma and flavor to an outrageous intensity, while the added malt raises the alcohol level to 10% by volume. And if you say you never loved it, we'll know you are a liar! This limited edition, single batch brew of MoJo Risin' Double IPA is the 6th Release in our Looking Glass Series of specialty beers. Discover all our award-winning beers at BoulderBeer.com. "

website: www.boulderbeer.com
Best for: Chim-chim-cheroo!
Ratings:
Taste: 16/20
Flavour: 16/20
Buy again: 14/20
Aroma: 7/10
Satisfaction: 10/10
Complexity: 8/10
Intangible: 9/10

Handwritten notes: Ow, that hurt. Right in the mouth. The high ABV leaves a sweet skid mark down your throat. But I feel like that distracts from what should be a persistent and overpowering bitterness. No, you know what? It's just right. A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down but I'm a full grown man who has never been molested by a chimney sweep. Sorry, Dick Van Dyke, if that is your real name. What was it I was trying to say? Ah yeah, how come most of the top rated beers are high ABV (be it Beer Advocate, or elsewhere)? Because the medium is the message and you can't review it without drinking it, and you can't drink it without a fuzzy happiness descending upon you. Whoo.

---------------------------------------------
Beer #321 of 3,652

EKU 28

EKU 28
Type of beer: Bock
Container Type: 500 mL can
Alcohol by volume: 11.0%
Country of origin: Germany
Rating: 73% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 2nd
Cost: $3.50
Tasted on: 8/1/09
Colours of label: Grey/Gold/Red
Drank From: Glass
Label Reads: Something German
website: n/a
Best for: Summoning the sandman

Ratings:
Taste: 13/20
Flavour: 15/20
Buy again: 12/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 10/10
Complexity: 8/10
Intangible: 7/10
Handwritten notes: I have had this beer twice in my life, and each time I was unconscious within 1 hour of drinking it. This kind of sucked because I was not prepared to have my day end at 4:00 in the afternoon. Oh well, caveat consumptor I guess. Caveat consumptor? Does that even mean anything? I actually forgot about the first time I tried this beer until my lips met the syrupy candy man taste of this beer the second time. I gather that the beer is a bock of some sort or another. The pervading taste is Kraft Caramels – you know, the ones you get at Halloween. Gute Nacht!!
---------------------------------------------

Beer #253 of 3,652

Trappistes Rochefort #10

Trappistes Rochefort #10
Type: Trappist Ale
Container Type: 330 mL bottle
Alcohol volume: 11.3%
Country of origin: Belgium
Rating: 81% (see below)
Number of times I've had this type: 1st
Cost: $5.90
Tasted on: 4/17/09
Colours of label: Tan/Black/Blue
Drank From: bulbous glass
Label Reads: "Authentic Trappist product."
website: n/a
Best for: Cool spring nights
Ratings:
Taste: 17/20
Flavour: 18/20
Buy again: 10/20
Aroma: 9/10
Satisfaction: 10/10
Complexity: 10/10
Intangible: 7/10

Handwritten notes: smells rural and fresh... strong alcohol content but no accompanying sickly-sweetness... complex and powerful, like dried fruit, woodsy, piney, nutty... yowza this is kicking my ass... a wine like warmness... beautiful.

---------------------------------------------
Beer #92 of 3,652

Rader Ambrée

Rader Ambrée
Type: Pale Ale
Container Type: 330 mL bottle
Alcohol volume: 10.5%
Country of origin: Belgium
Rating: 69% (see below)
Number of times I've had this type: 1st
Cost: $3.60
Tasted on: 4/5/09
Colours of label: Green/Yellow/Red
Drank From: glass
Label Reads: "Belgian bottle fermented beer, flavoured with a subtle malt distillate."
website: www.rader.de
Best for: sunny Sundays
Ratings:
Taste: 14/20
Flavour: 15/20
Buy again: 9/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 9/10
Complexity: 8/10
Intangible: 6/10
Handwritten notes: powerful... murky... sweet, but not sickly sweet as I would have expected... good for novelty, once in a while.
---------------------------------------------
Beer #59 of 3,652