Deschutes Black Butte Porter

Deschutes Black Butte Porter
Type of beer: Porter
Container Type: 12 oz bottle
Alcohol by volume: 5.20%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 75% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Drank From: Ginny glass
website: http://www.deschutesbrewery.com
Best for: Pretending you're Batman
Ratings:
Taste: 16/20
Flavour: 15/20
Buy again: 15/20
Aroma: 6/10
Satisfaction: 7/10
Complexity: 8/10
Intangible: 8/10

Handwritten notes: A neat-o Porter, reminding me why I like Porter. It certainly isn't "too much" and therefore it is a Goldilocks beer. (Remember that term. I have just coined it. Every time you use it you MUST pay Pat Riley $17.41). Somehow the lightness of a porter allows more space for the dark beer flavours to roam. On second sip, there is a sort of not-unpleasant woody taste that is omnipresent. You know, you drink over 500 different beers and you begin to become jaded. I say "Oh, another porter. Great." when I should be saying "OH, another Porter!!!! GREAT!!!" I think this beer has revirginized* my taste buds. Well, it's not that dramatic, but it's pretty solid.

*patent pending
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Beer #474 of 3,652

Rickard's Dark

Rickard's Dark
Type of beer: Porter
Container Type: 473 mL can
Alcohol by volume: 4.80%
Country of origin: Canada
Rating: 36% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Drank From: HP Glass
website: http://www.rickards.ca/
Best for: packing
Ratings:
Taste: 10/20
Flavour: 7/20
Buy again: 7/20
Aroma: 3/10
Satisfaction: 3/10
Complexity: 3/10
Intangible: 3/10

Handwritten notes: The label says this beer is brewed with maple syrup. I guess that puts it ahead of Keith's dark in the "mini macro" dark beer race. This is a chocolaty porter without much fuss. It has less of the generic "dark beer" taste and more of a scotch ale quality, likely due to the maple syrup. Worth a shot, but don't buy more than one.

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Beer #459 of 3,652

Harviestoun Old Engine Oil

Harviestoun Old Engine Oil
Type of beer: Porter
Container Type: 330 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 6.00%
Country of origin: Scotland
Rating: 72% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Drank From: Glass
website: http://www.harviestoun.com/
Best for: Watching a docu-drama
Ratings:
Taste: 13/20
Flavour: 15/20
Buy again: 15/20
Aroma: 7/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 7/10
Intangible: 7/10

Handwritten notes: Another Harviestoun offering - not as complex as the Ola Dubh but a fine stand in for those of you on a budget who can only afford $4 per beer instead of $6. The fact that this beer is a bit lighter compared to "Ola" makes the chocolate notes a bit more creamier, milkier. Perhaps the name had me prejudicially turning up my nose - I figured this would be a thick bitter brew. Not so.

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Beer #447 of 3,652

Rogue Mocha Porter

Rogue Mocha Porter
Type of beer: Porter
Container Type: 12 oz bottle
Alcohol by volume: 5.30%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 59% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Drank From: Glass
website: http://www.rogue.com/
Best for: Lightening the mood
Ratings:
Taste: 12/20
Flavour: 11/20
Buy again: 10/20
Aroma: 7/10
Satisfaction: 6/10
Complexity: 7/10
Intangible: 6/10

Handwritten notes: I expected more of a chocolate flavour, but I don't see it. Nevertheless, this is a nice porter, with a light opening and gradual build to the classic dark flavours, then fading to black with a spiteful bite. A previous beer I reviewed from Rogue had the same shtick - claiming to be flavoured with something that doesn't come through in the beer. Ah well, that's a good thing I guess.

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Beer #441 of 3,652

Boulevard Brewing Bully! Porter

Boulevard Brewing Bully! Porter
Type of beer: Porter
Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 5.20%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 64% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.25
Tasted on: 6/26/10
Colours of label: Black/Red/Blue
Drank From: HP Glass

Label Reads: "In time-honored brewing tradition we've added a small amount of yeast to this ale just before packaging to produce a secondary fermentation in the bottle. The yeast, which settles naturally to the bottom of the bottle, encourages further maturation and contributes to the ale's complex flavor."

website: www.blvdbeer.com/beer.htm
Best for: waitin' for a train
Ratings:
Taste: 13/20
Flavour: 12/20
Buy again: 11/20
Aroma: 7/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 7/10
Intangible: 6/10

Handwritten notes: What happens when American Ale meets porter? This. This is a light and bitter hoppy porter with only a niggling aftertaste to remind you it's a dark beer. Blindfolded, I'd have no clue what to make of this. I know what a black lager is. I didn't know there were black pale ales. I ain't complaining, I'm just saying. This is the kind of beer that makes you want to sit back, prop your feet up, and wonder how many years of cheating death you have left. If you really want to know how to cheat death, watch "Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey". On that note, good night. I hope you respect me in the morning.

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Beer #420 of 3,652

Bell's Porter

Bell's Porter
Type of beer: Porter
Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 5.60%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 68% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.25
Tasted on: 6/9/10
Colours of label: tan/green/brown
Drank From: glass

Label Reads: "A robust porter brewed from a tasty blend of dark malts with a rich, roasted flavor. Enjoy it anytime, like now for instance".

website: www.bellsbeer.com
Best for: Rising and falling, on the wings of your dreams
Ratings:
Taste: 13/20
Flavour: 15/20
Buy again: 13/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 7/10
Complexity: 6/10
Intangible: 6/10

Handwritten notes: It's a lovely thing to do Bell's stout and porter back to back. This smoky-roasty beer makes me realize, for the first time in my 32 year old life, the difference between stout and porter. I used to pretend I knew the difference, but it was all for show. Now I know. This porter is a smokier, but yet lighter beer that reminds one of a dunkel with more attitude. Fuck, I don't know, how do you describe a sunset? It's bright and awful purty? All tolled I like the stout to the porter, but the porter can carry my bags and drop them off in my liver, if it likes. I'd even give it a $4 tip for the courtesy. Thanks very much, you have yourself a good night, too.

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Beer #401 of 3,652

Half Pints Pothole Porter

Half Pints Pothole Porter
Type of beer: Porter
Container Type: 341 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 7.9%
Country of origin: Canada
Rating: 86% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $4.00
Tasted on: 3/17/10
Colours of label: Brown/Dark Brown/Red

Drank From: HP Glass
Label Reads: "stare into the abyss".
website: http://www.halfpintsbrewing.com/
Best for: A plain ol' March evening
Ratings:
Taste: 17/20
Flavour: 16/20
Buy again: 18/20
Aroma: 9/10
Satisfaction: 10/10
Complexity: 8/10
Intangible: 8/10
Handwritten notes: I want to clear the air and admit that I was a Winnipeg Jets fan. Home town pride is one thing. Being a huge fan of a frickin' good brewery is another. No matter where this beer is brewed, it is stupid good. It's just a happy coincidence that it's brewed in my back yard. This is the third strong-ass dark-ass beer I've had in three days, and my liver is still kicking. At first sip you will taste a strong milk-chocolaty flavour, much like a cup of cocoa. This gives way to a solid smoky bitterness that brings forth a reticent admission of my love of prairie winter and a sadness at its having passed away. Winnipeg Manitoba lays claim to -40ºC winters and 40ºC summers. It's no wonder that our spring streets are riddled with potholes. There's nothing like a $850 car repair bill to usher in the spring. That, and a beautiful Half Pints brew.

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Beer #385 of 3,652

Tree Brewing Co. Spy Porter

Tree Brewing Co. Spy Porter
Type of beer: Porter
Container Type: 341 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 5.0%
Country of origin: Canada
Rating: 75% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $unknown
Tasted on: 3/11/10
Colours of label: Blue/Yellow/Black
Drank From: Ginny glass

Label Reads: "TREE Brewing Company takes craft brewing seriously. We brew in small batches using only water, malt, hops, and yeast to produce the highest quality, award winning beer. Try our selection of all natural unpasteurized beers, sure to satisfy some of the most discriminating craft beer drinkers & judges. Drop by the Brewery located in beautiful Kelowna, British Columbia and we'll show you firsthand how we make great beer. Until then...Cheers!"

website: www.treebeer.com
Best for: yearning
Ratings:
Taste: 15/20
Flavour: 14/20
Buy again: 17/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 6/10
Intangible: 7/10

Handwritten notes: Oh, Winter of 09/10 I hardly knew ye. Here we are, a drizzle-filled melt-fest and all I can do is grip onto the last vestiges of winter and this lovely Porter. This is a very clean tasting Porter, it's there, it's powerful, and it's gone. Just like old man winter. This is a smoky and strong tasting porter, that lingers just long enough, and is gone like the four-foot snowbanks outside my window. Very nice, Tree brewing. Very etcetera.

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Beer #381 of 3,652

Breckenridge Remarkable Vanilla Porter

Breckenridge Remarkable Vanilla Porter
Type of beer: Porter
Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 4.70%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 82% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.25
Tasted on: 11/8/09
Colours of label: Tan/Red/Brown
Drank From: Glass
Label Reads: "Ale brewed with real vanilla beans", "Original mountain recipe", " Seldom seen never duplicated".

website: www.breckbrew.com
Best for: obtaining racial harmony

Ratings:
Taste: 16/20
Flavour: 16/20
Buy again: 17/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 8/10
Intangible: 9/10
Handwritten notes: Wow, this is truly remarkable. Of all of the beers that appear to be "gimmicky", this one is one of the best (if not the best). The vanilla is a genius pairing to the chocolaty stout, like a vanilla/chocolate swirl ice cream. I hesitated to try this beer because it sounded like a gross idea for a beer. How outrageously wrong could I be? I would pour this shit on my Lucky Charms. Fantesticle.
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Beer #359 of 3,652

Flying Dog Gonzo Imperial Porter

Flying Dog Gonzo Imperial Porter
Type of beer: Porter
Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 9.80%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 78% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.25
Tasted on: 10/21/09
Colours of label: Blue/Brown/Black
Drank From: HP Glass

Label Reads: “Dark, malty and mysterious, this beer is as complex as the man it celebrates. Brewed to honor the life of Hunter S. Thompson, Gonzo Imperial Porter is an assault on your taste buds with just the right amount of irreverence thrown in.”
website: www.flyingdogales.com
Best for: raping the dead
Ratings:
Taste: 14/20
Flavour: 15/20
Buy again: 15/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 10/10
Complexity: 8/10
Intangible: 8/10
Handwritten notes: All I know about Hunter S. has been gleaned from Bill Murray and Johnny Depp. I don't really get it - he as a lunatic who was incoherent and took a lot of drugs. So did Chaz Manson but no one outside of 12-year-olds with down syndrome and Axl Rose think he's a hero. I reckon the mystique that surrounds this dude surpasses anything he actually accomplished. Anyways, back to the beer. The taste is fantesticle - a sort of POW! SNAKT!! Campy Batman moment with the first sip. The taste is of a deep roast and liquor. It has a full as fuck, very sherry-like flavour. This beer is outrageous and I would only recommend it on an empty stomach and a mind full of negative thoughts.

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Beer #326 of 3,652

Cannery Brewing Blackberry Porter

Cannery Brewing Blackberry Porter
Type of beer: Porter
Container Type: 650 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 6.5%
Country of origin: Canada
Rating: 78% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $4.50
Tasted on: 10/10/09
Colours of label: Purple/White
Drank From: Bears mug

Label Reads: "Five carefully chosen malted barleys are combined with three superior hop varieties to produce this traditional porter. Natural blackberry adds an exciting complexity to this easy sipping wonder. AN EXCITING EXPLOSION OF FLAVOUR!"

website: www.cannerybrewing.com/
Best for: while vacuuming
Ratings:
Taste: 16/20
Flavour: 16/20
Buy again: 14/20
Aroma: 7/10
Satisfaction: 9/10
Complexity: 7/10
Intangible: 9/10

Handwritten notes: As you kind readers likely know by now, the idea of mixing fruit in beer is about as appealing to me as the idea of eating goat testicles. However, this beer is the exception that proves the rule. (What the hell does that phrase mean? How can an exception prove a rule, when a rule is an a priori absolute concept?). Whatever it is, this beer works as a fruit beer. It may be the perfect pairing of porter and blackberry. It may be the high ABV that gives the porter itself a wine-like quality. It may be the fact that this is still a beer, not some white beer and raspberries blended together. Whatever it is, bravo Cannery Brewing. You are the Neil Armstrong of breweries.

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Beer #312 of 3,652

Fuller's London Porter

Fuller's London Porter
Type of beer: Porter
Container Type: 500 mL can
Alcohol by volume: 5.4%
Country of origin: England
Rating: 74% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $3.00
Tasted on: 7/29/09
Colours of label: Brown/Gold/Red
Drank From: Glass

Label Reads: "This historic style of beer has a smooth, rich chocolatey character, which makes London Porter a fine after-dinner drink", "Rich, dark, and complex".

website: www.fullers-ales.com
Best for: self-publishing a book of photographs of ugly children
Ratings:
Taste: 15/20
Flavour: 15/20
Buy again: 14/20
Aroma: 7/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 8/10
Intangible: 7/10

Handwritten notes: A smoky and loverly beer. I ain't a porter guy... I'm not even a stevedore guy, to be honest, but this hits the spot. It's got a tinny coffee flavour like you'd have around an Old West campfire. Perhaps the reason I can't completely get into this beer is because it is "rich, dark, and complex", which is exactly what I am not.

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Beer #248 of 3,652

Mill St. Coffee Porter

Mill St. Coffee Porter
Type of beer: Porter
Container Type: 341 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 5.5%
Country of origin: Canada
Rating: 67% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $2.30
Tasted on: 7/1/09
Colours of label: Red/White/Gold
Drank From: Tulip

Label Reads: "Beer brewed with coffee", "Mill Street Porter is a wonderfully sinful blend of Balzac's own dark-roasted coffee, brewed to perfection with a full-bodied traditional porter. We know you'll be pleasantly surprised by this delicious and satisfying combination".

website: www.millstreetbrewery.com
Best for: getting 4 hours of sleep
Ratings:
Taste: 12/20
Flavour: 13/20
Buy again: 11/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 8/10
Intangible: 7/10

Handwritten notes: I know that I called other beers "not-quite beer" because they had coffee in them. But this is an exception. There is a tangible smoky-malt flavour to off-set the coffee. That is, this is a marriage of two flavours rather than one dominating the other. Unless that's what they're into.

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Beer #201 of 3,652

Samuel Adams Honey Porter

Samuel Adams Honey Porter
Type of beer: Porter
Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 5.45%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 69% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $0.90
Tasted on: 6/1/09
Colours of label: Brown/Orange/Yellow
Drank From: Mug

Label Reads: ugh. "A full-bodied English-style porter, this brew has a substantial roasted malt character. Brewed with traditional English Ale hops and sweetened with Scottish heather honey. The honey balances the spiciness from the hops and the roasted malt character. This beer is finished by dry hopping with English Goldings. Cheers!", "21 And counting. At Samuel Adams we continually challenge ourselves to craft new brews that are unique, flavorful and of the highest quality. We have over 21 award-winning styles and we can't wait to brew the next one for you".

website: www.samueladams.com
Best for: counting your fingers
Ratings:
Taste: 13/20
Flavour: 14/20
Buy again: 12/20
Aroma: 7/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 8/10
Intangible: 7/10

Handwritten notes: Thanks for the novel, Sam. Nothing about the title of this beer sounds appealing to me right now. Luckily it has the dominating taste of hops, otherwise I might have puked. Honey porter. But really, it's rather good despite my mood, general aversion to honey beers, and current aversion to dark beers.

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Beer #176 of 3,652

Summit Great Northern Porter

Summit Great Northern Porter
Type of beer: Porter
Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol volume: 5.6%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 62% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $0.90
Tasted on: 5/30/09
Colours of label: Brown/Green/Gold
Drank From: Nonic glass
Label Reads: "Est. 1986, St. Paul Minnesota".
website: www.summitbrewing.com
Best for: December 21st to March 21st
Ratings:
Taste: 12/20
Flavour: 12/20
Buy again: 11/20
Aroma: 7/10
Satisfaction: 7/10
Complexity: 6/10
Intangible: 7/10

Handwritten notes: I can't review a porter right now, the birds are signing, the grass is green, and if I listen very closely at night I can't hear the faraway "swish" of skates, "chop" of hockey sticks and "plunk" of puck against the boards. This is a coffee flavoured porter so overpowering as to make me believe that coffee has been added. I can, however, see a good beer through the haze of springtime. But this is my review, bucko, and right now this beer is not super appealing.

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Beer #168 of 3,652

Neuzeller Porter

Neuzeller Porter
Type of beer: Porter
Container Type: 500 mL bottle
Alcohol volume: 7.2%
Country of origin: Germany
Rating: 71% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $4.60
Tasted on: 5/2/09
Colours of label: Purple/Tan/Gold
Drank From: Mug shot
Label Reads: I don't really sprocken zee doich, so who the hell knows?
website: n/a
Best for: burning ants with a magnifying glass
Ratings:
Taste: 14/20
Flavour: 15/20
Buy again: 12/20
Aroma: 7/10
Satisfaction: 9/10
Complexity: 8/10
Intangible: 8/10

Handwritten notes: The long lost half-brother of the badebier... nice, thick, deep-flavoured porter... crisper than most, but sporting the coffee/caramel/chocolate profile as well as any other... a nice warming beer... however, it is a lovely spring night tonight and I do not feel the same draw towards these strong, dark beers as I once did.

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Beer #123 of 3,652