Foster's Premium Ale

Foster's Premium Ale
Type of beer: ESB
Container Type: 25.4 oz can
Alcohol by volume: 5.50%
Country of origin: Australia
Rating: 26% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Drank From: Ho-maid cup
website: http://www.fostersgroup.com/
Best for: Wasting a Sunday
Ratings:
Taste: 4/20
Flavour: 5/20
Buy again: 6/20
Aroma: 3/10
Satisfaction: 5/10
Complexity: 2/10
Intangible: 1/10

Handwritten notes: This has a weird, vegetable like taste that makes you go... whaaa? Then it's gone, leaving only deadly metal tinny mass-produced flavours. Does Foster's make regular sized beers? I've only ever seen these double cans. They're like that over-zealous party host who insists on pouring everyone doubles with an impish snicker. Speaking of which, who do you think Paul Hogan is boning tonight?

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Beer #499 of 3,652

Russell Blood Alley ESB

Russell Blood Alley ESB
Type of beer: ESB
Container Type: 650 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 5.50%
Country of origin: Canada
Rating: 78% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Drank From: Bears
website: http://www.russellbeer.ca/
Best for: Eating tofu
Ratings:
Taste: 15/20
Flavour: 16/20
Buy again: 15/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 8/10
Intangible: 8/10

Handwritten notes: A slightly bitter ESB (the bottle says 50 IBU), leaving a musing of aftertaste of Canadian hops and malt. This is an almost perfect Canadian (decidedly Canadian tasting) ESB. That brown sugar tenderness is there, before and after the hop lovin'. I'm having deja vu. Have I used this phrase before? I love that feeling. I can't remember what I did yesterday, but I feel like I'm remembering shit that never happened. This beer is worth the $6.50 price tag any day, God bless you Russell, whoever you are.

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Beer #488 of 3,652

Red Racer ESB

Red Racer ESB
Type of beer: ESB
Container Type: 355 mL can
Alcohol by volume: 5.60%
Country of origin: Canada
Rating: 74% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Drank From: HP Glass
website: http://www.centralcitybrewing.com/
Best for: giving a care
Ratings:
Taste: 13/20
Flavour: 15/20
Buy again: 16/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 6/10
Intangible: 8/10

Handwritten notes: I still don't know what ESB means. Extra Special/Strong Bitter or early spring beer? To me it's just a grapefruit express. It's still amazing to me that the evolution of craft beer took so long to hit hoser shores. Still, hooray for progress, woo. It's hard to believe this beer comes from some little brewpub in BC. That's just amazing, and takes me back to some past-life 1700s township where every pub brewed its own beer. I long for the days when I'd be considered an old man at 33.

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Beer #468 of 3,652

Empyrean Brewing Company Lunasea E.S.B.

Empyrean Brewing Company Lunasea E.S.B.
Type of beer: ESB
Container Type: 12 oz bottle
Alcohol by volume: 5.90%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 66% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 2nd
Drank From: Half Pints Glass
website: http://www.empyreanbrewingco.com/index.html
Best for: tilling your garden
Ratings:
Taste: 12/20
Flavour: 13/20
Buy again: 13/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 7/10
Intangible: 6/10

Handwritten notes: It took me a hell of a lot longer than I'm proud of to realize that Lusasea was a homophonic re-spelling of "lunacy". Very funny. Very clever. Tastes of a pretty standard ESB. That good ole roasty malt, brown sugar oatmeal with a hoppy finish. Really, much like the sharp dew-stained dark spring nights followed by the sunny, warm/cool days of spring. Good gooly, miss Molly. You sure like to ball. But don't we all, people? Don't we all?

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Beer #439 of 3,652

Redhook ESB

Redhook ESB
Type of beer: ESB
Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 5.77%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 77% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.25
Tasted on: 6/11/10
Colours of label: Brown/Yellow/White
Drank From: Glass
Label Reads: "Liquid goodness sine 1982".
website: www.redhook.com
Best for: Fearing the reaper
Ratings:
Taste: 16/20
Flavour: 15/20
Buy again: 16/20
Aroma: 7/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 7/10
Intangible: 8/10

Handwritten notes: This is a lightly hopped beer with the consistency of a root beer float. It's just enough to sassify as far as I'm concerned. The amount of bitter hops is perfectly balanced with the syrupy malt, just right for my particular palate. This is the kind of beer that makes you wish you were sitting in a lawnchair. Not like one of these new-fangled lawn chairs, but one of those old plaid weaved plastic numbers that creaked when you opened them and invariably tore through at the most inopportune time. Those were awesome. So were lawn darts. And so was smoking in a car with the windows rolled up and kids in the back seat. Ah, simpler times.

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Beer #403 of 3,652

Sierra Nevada ESB

Sierra Nevada ESB (Early Spring Beer)
Type of beer: ESB
Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 5.90%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 72% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.25

Tasted on: 10/30/09
Colours of label: Green/Brown/Yellow
Drank From: Glass
Label Reads: "Our ESB combines the best of English tradition with West Coast style. A blend of malts featuring British-grown Maris Otter is balanced with the earthy spiciness of hand-selected English and US hops. The ale is left unfiltered, which enhances mouthfeel and hop aroma creating a slightly reddish-copper hue."
website: www.sierranevada.com
Best for: Flying high

Ratings:
Taste: 15/20
Flavour: 16/20
Buy again: 14/20
Aroma: 7/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 7/10
Intangible: 6/10
Handwritten notes: ESB = Extra Special Bitter or Early Spring Beer? Very clever, Sierra Nevada. The taste of this beer is cloudy and pillowy. It eases you into life through the bitter hops of birth. After that, and despite its ABV, it's a pleasing and refreshing beer. It must be early spring in Australia right now, so to all you friggin' Aussies, happy ESB. And what's the deal with all of your crazy animals? Koalas? Kangaroos? Duck-billed platypi?? Your region of the world is like the freak-show part of the county fair.

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Beer #343 of 3,652

Avery 14'er ESB

Avery 14'er ESB
Type of beer: ESB
Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 5.13%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 74% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.25

Tasted on: 10/27/09
Colours of label: Blue/Yellow/Black
Drank From: Mug
Label Reads: "Big peaks and big brews - thankfully Colorado has an abundance of both. This copper-hued wonderfully happy ale is as beautiful and complex as the fifty-four 14,000 foot mountains for which it is named - 14'Er Extra Special Bitter. Take a hike! Brewed with Rocky Mountain Water, malted barley, hops and yeast."
website: www.averybrewing.com

Best for: Yodeling
Ratings:
Taste: 14/20
Flavour: 15/20
Buy again: 14/20
Aroma: 7/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 7/10
Intangible: 8/10
Handwritten notes: ESB you say? Extra Special is it? Well, this time you're right. This tastes kind of like a good version of the "Oktoberfest" beers I've been swamped with recently. There is a sour and fruity sort of decay on this one that plays off the citrussy hop flavour. This beer tastes like it came from a cellar somewhere. It's very strange, unique, and a very good kisser.
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Beer #337 of 3,652

Goose Island Harvest Ale

Goose Island Harvest Ale
Type of beer: Extra Special Bitter (ESB)
Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 5.7%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 79% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.15
Tasted on: 10/17/09
Colours of label: Orange/Black/Red
Drank From: Glass
Label Reads: "Serve Harvest Ale in a Willi Glass"
website: www.gooseisland.com
Best for: Flying South
Ratings:
Taste: 16/20
Flavour: 17/20
Buy again: 16/20
Aroma: 7/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 8/10
Intangible: 7/10

Handwritten notes: For some reason I have brought back with me all kinds of new styles of beer from the US. Well, in name only. The Goose Island website calls this an "American Extra Special Bitter". You could have called it an Ale (perhaps even a "harvest ale") and I wouldn't know any different. The first sensation from this beer is a very bready smell. The taste begins with the familiar and pleasant punch of American grapefruit hops, followed by a round caramel flavour. I tend to find that American beers tend to taste like grapefruit, even when attempting styles that are not a Pale Ale/IPA. This is no one-dimensional beer, though. The sweetness and bitterness are in oppositional harmony, like a fat man french kissing a female midget. Beautanimous.

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Beer #315 of 3,652