Flying Monkeys Hoptical Illusion

Flying Monkeys Hoptical Illusion
Type of beer: Pale Ale
Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 5.00%
Country of origin: Canada
Rating: 62% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Drank From: Mug
website: http://theflyingmonkeys.ca/
Best for: taking off
Ratings:
Taste: 13/20
Flavour: 12/20
Buy again: 13/20
Aroma: 6/10
Satisfaction: 6/10
Complexity: 6/10
Intangible: 6/10

Handwritten notes: I understand being hip an modern and shit and playing the hi-fi at the sock hop and what not but I thought Robert Simpson was a classy name. Remember Confederation Amber Ale? Same company. I could tell by their smelly hippy bottle and the fact that Barrie Ontario probably couldn't handle two craft breweries. No offense, Barrionites. Even so, if you hippies are going to sell beer, don't think of a name while syncing Dark Side of the Moon with the Wizard of Oz. Now... the beer. It's a distinctly Canadian tasting beer... much like something Robert Simpson would brew. But the tinny northern molasses malts are laid over with a sort of IPA cloak. A technicolour dreamcoat that reminds us that 75% of Canadian live within 100 miles of the States. Smile on your brother.

(By the way, for you Americans, "technicolour" is a real spelling, and "the States" is what we call you. For you Canadians a "mile" is 1.609 kilometres).

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Beer #498 of 3,652

Lagunitas Wilco Tango Foxtrot

Lagunitas Wilco Tango Foxtrot
Type of beer: Strong Ale
Container Type: 1 pint 6 oz. bottle
Alcohol by volume: 7.83%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 80% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Drank From: GW Glass
website: http://www.lagunitas.com/
Best for: Smoking it right down to the filter
Ratings:
Taste: 15/20
Flavour: 16/20
Buy again: 15/20
Aroma: 7/10
Satisfaction: 9/10
Complexity: 9/10
Intangible: 9/10

Handwritten notes: The cleverest names take me a few minutes of quiet reflection to figure out. The joke is quite apropos. Something about this beer is me. Just like my new found love of dark lager, this beer is a wolf in sheep's clothing, or sweat pants as it were. This is boldly hopped, but not grapefruit to the tits. The second-tier of flavour is a deep and dark roastiness and stomach warming goodness. Well done, old man.

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Beer #443 of 3,652

Empyrean Brewing Company Lunasea E.S.B.

Empyrean Brewing Company Lunasea E.S.B.
Type of beer: ESB
Container Type: 12 oz bottle
Alcohol by volume: 5.90%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 66% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 2nd
Drank From: Half Pints Glass
website: http://www.empyreanbrewingco.com/index.html
Best for: tilling your garden
Ratings:
Taste: 12/20
Flavour: 13/20
Buy again: 13/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 7/10
Intangible: 6/10

Handwritten notes: It took me a hell of a lot longer than I'm proud of to realize that Lusasea was a homophonic re-spelling of "lunacy". Very funny. Very clever. Tastes of a pretty standard ESB. That good ole roasty malt, brown sugar oatmeal with a hoppy finish. Really, much like the sharp dew-stained dark spring nights followed by the sunny, warm/cool days of spring. Good gooly, miss Molly. You sure like to ball. But don't we all, people? Don't we all?

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Beer #439 of 3,652

Breckenridge Pandora's Bock

Breckenridge Pandora's Bock
Type of beer: Bock
Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 7.50%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 72% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.25
Tasted on: 6/19/10
Colours of label: Blue/Brown/Red
Drank From: Glass

Label Reads: "Fine Colorado Ales", "Traditional Beer".

website: www.breckbrew.com
Best for: Gettin' the stank off your clothes
Ratings:
Taste: 14/20
Flavour: 13/20
Buy again: 15/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 7/10
Complexity: 8/10
Intangible: 7/10

Handwritten notes: The weight of this beer is like a thick fruit juice. Compared with the other Bock (Shiner Bock, reviewed next), this one has a more musky and fruity taste, washed away with a nippy little bitter bite. I prefer this to Shiner, but it may just be the high ABV creating phastasmic flavours on my palate. "Irregardless", Pandora's Bock is a clever as fuck name and I am a sucker for those. So much so that I think of them in the shower and during my commute. I think I'll create a list of beer names that I've thought up and I think are clever. Public domain. Steal away, brewmasters and brewmistresses. Steal away.
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Note: it appears that many of the beer names I thought up have been used before. I guess I'm not as clever and original as I think.

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Beer #409 of 3,652