Abbot Ale

Abbot Ale
Type of beer: Pale Ale
Container Type: pint can
Alcohol by volume: 5.00%
Country of origin: England
Rating: 48% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Drank From: HP Glass
website: http://www.greeneking.co.uk/
Best for: Sick-ass Monday
Ratings:
Taste: 11/20
Flavour: 9/20
Buy again: 5/20
Aroma: 5/10
Satisfaction: 6/10
Complexity: 6/10
Intangible: 6/10

Handwritten notes: I don't know about this beer, it kind of makes me feel queasy like chugging an Orange Crush. Very fruity and sugary flavours present. It's almost like a rotten woody-fruity taste, like that old plum tree my grandparents had where the plums would fall off and rot and you'd walk by on the way to the outhouse in September and say "whew! who's been drinkin'?". A cheek-painting sour bitterness finishes it off. Why is it that British food is all meat and pastry and beans and root vegetables? All they eat is brown and almost-brown food and then wonder why they're pasty faced weaklings? Smart folks, though. Smart folks.

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Beer #518 of 3,652

Thwaites Very Nutty Black

Thwaites Very Nutty Black
Type of beer: Ale
Container Type: 500 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 3.90%
Country of origin: England
Rating: 63% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Drank From: HP Glass
website: http://www.thwaites.co.uk/
Best for: Pondering Rubik's Cube
Ratings:
Taste: 12/20
Flavour: 11/20
Buy again: 12/20
Aroma: 7/10
Satisfaction: 6/10
Complexity: 8/10
Intangible: 7/10

Handwritten notes: This smells like a very ordinary dark ale, but tastes very unique. You are met with an almost sour bite that sticks to your lips like citric acid. Further on, a faint licorice and almost Amaretto taste. Weird, different, but as busy as Rodney Dangerfield's tie.

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Beer #515 of 3,652

Wychwood Bah Humbug

Wychwood Bah Humbug
Type of beer: Spiced Ale
Container Type: 500 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 5.00%
Country of origin: England
Rating: 65% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $4.50
Tasted on: 12/2/09
Colours of label: Red/Gold/Black

Drank From: HP Glass
Label Reads: "Brewed with the choicest hops & malt, lightly spiced with cinnamon, this is a rich ale complimented with subtle tones of dried fruits. Beer with cinnamon".
website: www.wychwood.co.uk/
Best for: Levelling out your humours
Ratings:
Taste: 13/20
Flavour: 12/20
Buy again: 10/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 8/10
Intangible: 6/10
Handwritten notes: One thing you should know about old Bard is that I love Dickens' A Christmas Carol. I have read it a dozen times, and I have watched the movies a ton. I will even sit through "Scrooged" even though Bill Murray is less funny than the holocaust. One time I met Bill Murray at a baseball game. In real life his face looks like peanut brittle. Anyhoo, this beer is caramelly like a Christmas fruitcake. It is a fizzy, sparkling fruitcake. It kind of tastes like a bock in a weird way. There may be some cinnamon and nutmeg notes, but this beer is more about the malt than it is about the spices. The spices are quite subtle, and thank God for that. A superb Christmas chugger.

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Beer #371 of 3,652

Hopback Summer Lightning

Hopback Summer Lightning
Type of beer: Ale
Container Type: 500 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 5.0%
Country of origin: England
Rating: 74% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $5.60
Tasted on: 9/23/09
Colours of label: Yellow/Red/Green

Drank From: Glass
Label Reads: "Store Below 12C. This beer contains a healthy yeast sediment. Pour carefully in one slow motion to avoid disturbing the sediment".
website: www.hopback.co.uk
Best for: Bowling with God
Ratings:
Taste: 14/20
Flavour: 15/20
Buy again: 15/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 7/10
Complexity: 7/10
Intangible: 8/10
Handwritten notes: A brutally bitter, honey-smelling beer. The only thing I like more than beer is summer lightning. This beer has the summer aspect - the European style hops give it that 3:30 in the morning/country field in summer/what the hell am I doing here/type of taste. The bitterness of this beer is not aggressive like a fork of lightning, but more consistent, or persistent like that sheet lightning that intermittently lights up the summer night sky like a strobe light in a gay bar.

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Beer #305 of 3,652

Samuel Smith's Imperial Stout

Samuel Smith's Imperial Stout
Type of beer: Stout
Container Type: 550 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 7.0%
Country of origin: England
Rating: 79% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $7.00
Tasted on: 9/15/09

Colours of label: White/Black/Gold
Drank From: Glass
Label Reads: "Contractors to Her Majesty's Forces", "Awarded 1st prize and Silver Medal - Bottled Ale 1930", "1896 Awarded Gold Medal".
website: n/a
Best for: giving up hope
Ratings:
Taste: 16/20
Flavour: 16/20
Buy again: 17/20
Aroma: 7/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 7/10
Intangible: 8/10
Handwritten notes: This stout is one for the ages. It wraps around your brain like your old "blankie" and soothes you back into childhood oblivion. Speaking of Oblivion, I would rather be a Khajiit than an Imperial (for those of you who did not already know I am a loser, that last comment should seal the deal). Nevertheless, this stout is like the sweet blood of the Lord himself. Roasty with a "preserved" type of taste, but not in a bad way - like there may have been some wood-aging involved. Peace and love, my limey brethren.
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Beer #300 of 3,652

St. Peter's English Ale

St. Peter’s English Ale
Type of beer: Ale
Container Type: 500 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 4.5%
Country of origin: England
Rating: 85% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $5.50
Tasted on: 7/1/09

Colours of label: Green/Silver/Black
Drank From: Glass
Label Reads: "Organically grown barley and hops create a refreshingly wholesome flavoured ale with a delicate character. Brewed with skill and patience in one of Britain's finest and most innovative breweries. St. Peter's Brewery is located in a medieval hall in a remote, rural corner of Suffolk, Eastern England. There our beers begin life deep below the brewery with water drawn from a pure source - as it has been for 700 years. Our beautiful flask-shaped oval bottle is a faithful copy of one made c. 1770 for Thomas Gerrard of Gibbstown, just across the Delaware river from Philadelphia."
website: www.stpetersbrewery.co.uk
Best for: raking leaves

Ratings:
Taste: 17/20
Flavour: 17/20
Buy again: 17/20
Aroma: 9/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 8/10
Intangible: 9/10
Handwritten notes: Oh, man. This beer shoots a flowery honey-suckle injection into your soul. The bottle is appropriately shaped like a medicine bottle because this beverage is the cure for almost any mental or emotional malady the world can throw at you. The flowery taste takes you to a childhood springtime, beneath the blossoming trees without a care in the universe except where to get a Popsicle. The taste is smooth, but with a perfect bite at the end. I think that all American micro-brews are seeking this perfect ideal.

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Beer #256 of 3,652

Fuller's London Porter

Fuller's London Porter
Type of beer: Porter
Container Type: 500 mL can
Alcohol by volume: 5.4%
Country of origin: England
Rating: 74% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $3.00
Tasted on: 7/29/09
Colours of label: Brown/Gold/Red
Drank From: Glass

Label Reads: "This historic style of beer has a smooth, rich chocolatey character, which makes London Porter a fine after-dinner drink", "Rich, dark, and complex".

website: www.fullers-ales.com
Best for: self-publishing a book of photographs of ugly children
Ratings:
Taste: 15/20
Flavour: 15/20
Buy again: 14/20
Aroma: 7/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 8/10
Intangible: 7/10

Handwritten notes: A smoky and loverly beer. I ain't a porter guy... I'm not even a stevedore guy, to be honest, but this hits the spot. It's got a tinny coffee flavour like you'd have around an Old West campfire. Perhaps the reason I can't completely get into this beer is because it is "rich, dark, and complex", which is exactly what I am not.

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Beer #248 of 3,652

Tetley's English Ale

Tetley's English Ale
Type of beer: Ale
Container Type: 440 mL can
Alcohol by volume: 3.6%
Country of origin: England
Rating: 69% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $3.00
Tasted on: 7/20/09
Colours of label: Blue/Yellow/Red
Drank From: Glass

Label Reads: "Smooth & Creamy. Yorkshire's Finest Pub Ale", "A uniquely smooth taste. To enjoy a perfect glass of Tetley's, serve cold from the fridge, pull the tab, pour down the side of a glass in one smooth movement and wait for the light creamy head to form."

website: n/a
Best for: frequenting public houses
Ratings:
Taste: 11/20
Flavour: 13/20
Buy again: 14/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 7/10
Intangible: 8/10

Handwritten notes: Light, with a subtle, almost non-existent carbonation. I like the clear instructions on the label, too. They forgot "...digest contents of can and convert to urine. Expel urine in lavatory or water closet." Ha... Brits are funny. It may be my mind playing tricks on me, but this beer tastes a bit like iced tea. There is a subdued sugar or caramel taste. This beer would probably be better, if not perfect, as a draught. Also, what's the deal with Brits adding extraneous letters to words? Draught? I am almost on the side of the Yanks in that "color" does not need to be spelled "colour". But, the rules are what they are, all I know is that I'm above the 49th parallel so this beer has a good flavour.

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Beer #236 of 3,652

Samuel Smith's Nut Brown Ale

Samuel Smith's Nut Brown Ale
Type of beer: Ale
Container Type: 550 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 5.0%
Country of origin: England
Rating: 89% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $4.50
Tasted on: 7/21/09
Colours of label: Brown/Gold/White
Drank From: Go Bears 2010!
Label Reads: "Product of England"
website: n/a
Best for: Revelry
Ratings:
Taste: 18/20
Flavour: 18/20
Buy again: 18/20
Aroma: 9/10
Satisfaction: 9/10
Complexity: 8/10
Intangible: 9/10

Handwritten notes: Dear sweet God of beer, I've been so far removed from good ale that I've lost any sense of reality. Then along came Sam. This beer has a perfect bitter/sour taste and flavour of roasted coffee and chocolate, but not in a bad or in a usual way. Heavens, no. The flavours are blended and played so uniquely and so well that it brings a tear to my eye. This is why I do this, boys.

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Beer #228 of 3,652

Black Sheep Ale

Black Sheep Ale
Type of beer: Ale
Container Type: 500 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 4.4%
Country of origin: England
Rating: 79% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $3.00
Tasted on: 7/18/09
Colours of label: Tan/Brown/Black
Drank From: Mug

Label Reads: "Crisp, Dry, & Bittersweet". "This is Black Sheep Ale. The culmination of five generations of brewing expertise. Brewed at the Black Sheep Brewery in Masham, North Yorkshire, and nowhere else."

website: www.blacksheep.co.uk
Best for: being stuck in a lift
Ratings:
Taste: 15/20
Flavour: 15/20
Buy again: 16/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 9/10
Complexity: 8/10
Intangible: 8/10

Handwritten notes: Hoppy and sourly nutty and bitter. It's been a dog's age since I had a beer like this. Thank you England for Hugh Grant, Yorkshire pudding, and this piece of work. The background music is a citrus and tropical lullaby and the main players are huge hops and malt flavours. I think that this taste is what American craft beers strive for.

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Beer #223 of 3,652

Thwaites Lancaster Bomber

Thwaites Lancaster Bomber
Type of beer: Ale
Container Type: 500 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 4.4%
Country of origin: England
Rating: 79% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $3.50
Tasted on: 7/10/09
Colours of label: Blue/Red/White
Drank From: GW Glass

Label Reads: "Full-flavoured with a hop aroma. So-more-ish", "Winner of the Gold Medal for the Best English Beer a the European Beer Star Awards, this chestnut coloured ale has a warming, full-flavoured taste, with a hint o toffee and biscuit."

website: www.thwaites.co.uk
Best for: Having a row with the neighbours
Ratings:
Taste: 16/20
Flavour: 15/20
Buy again: 16/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 8/10
Intangible: 8/10

Handwritten notes: I like it. Bitter and smooth, with a lemon-zesty hop aroma. It's almost like an American craft in its generous use of hops, but not quite. The flavour lingers like the quinine in tonic water. Crafty British bastards.

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Beer #217 of 3,652

Chalky's Bite

Chalky's Bite
Type of beer: Hefe-Weizen(?)
Container Type: 330 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 6.8%
Country of origin: England
Rating: 79% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $3.50
Tasted on: 7/11/09
Colours of label: Blue/White/Gold
Drank From: Glass

Label Reads: "The idea for Chalky's bite came about as a challenge from Rick Stein to Sharp's Head Brewer Stuart Howe. The task was to create a distinctly English beer with the character, individuality and quality to stand alongside the Belgian greats. The beer created is exceptional with a delicate flavour balance of three different hop varieties and wild Cornish fennel. With a totally natural process and a maturation period of over three months the beer is allowed ample time to develop a high level of carbonation, its own distinctive flavour and a beautiful light golden colour. Chalky's patience whilst attending the many development and sampling sessions at the Brewery is justifiably rewarded in the name."

website: www.sharpsbrewery.co.uk
Best for: Painting artistic nudes
Ratings:
Taste: 15/20
Flavour: 16/20
Buy again: 15/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 9/10
Intangible: 8/10

Handwritten notes: This beer is almost like a strong apple cider in its acidity. There is a sour/sweet acid that plays the other flavours like a fiddle and gives it a hugely unique character. It is interesting and surprisingly refreshing, considering its ABV. The back story for the beer is incredibly dull. However, if you make a beer this good you can call it "yo momma" if you want, and I'll still drink it.

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Beer #215 of 3,652

Hobgoblin

Hobgoblin
Type: Ale
Container Type: 500 mL bottle
Alcohol volume: 5.2%
Country of origin: England
Rating: 73% (see below)
Number of times I've had this type: 1st
Cost: $3.60
Tasted on: 4/13/09
Colours of label: Blue/Yellow/Gold
Drank From: Big Mug (not pictured)

Label Reads: "Full bodied and well-balanced with a chocolate toffee malt flavour, moderate bitterness and a distinctive fruity character and ruby red glow."

website: www.wychwood.co.uk/
Best for: Causing havoc
Ratings:
Taste: 13/20
Flavour: 14/20
Buy again: 13/20
Aroma: 7/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 9/10
Intangible: 8/10

Handwritten notes: Very fizzy but more light than I would have expected... a fine array of flavours... it is mischievous... I did not receive a free t-shirt with this beer.

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Beer #99 of 3,652

Fuller's Honey Dew

Fuller's Honey Dew
Type: Ale
Container Type: 500 mL bottle
Alcohol volume: 5.0%
Country of origin: England
Rating: 75% (see below)
Number of times I've had this type: 1st
Cost: $2.90
Tasted on: 4/16/09
Colours of label: Yellow/Red/Black
Drank From: Big mug (not pictured)

Label Reads: "Brewed using only organically produced ingredients, English malt, and the finest honey to give a mellow, rounded character which is deliciously balanced with zesty hops".

website: www.fullers.co.uk/

Best for: after you come home from open mic night at the local comedy club (sad but true story)

Ratings:
Taste: 14/20
Flavour: 14/20
Buy again: 14/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 8/10
Intangible: 9/10

Handwritten notes: Folks, you know what? I'm not a fan of overly sweet beers. But this is not... this makes honey appealing to me... very smooth, of course, but a nice after-bite... not overpowering with honey, not at all... tastes fresh.

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Beer #90 of 3,652

Marston's Pedigree

Marston's Pedigree
Type: Ale
Container Type: 500 mL bottle
Alcohol volume: 4.5%
Country of origin: England
Rating: 72% (see below)
Number of times I've had this type: 1st
Cost: $3.60
Tasted on: 4/16/09
Colours of label: Red/White/Black
Drank From: glass

Label Reads: "Marston's Pedigree is crafted using the finest, natural ingredients to produce a truly exceptional premium ale. It is still brewed in oak casks to preserve its unique character and deliver the classic smooth full flavoured taste that is appreciated around the world."

website: www.marstonsdontcompromise.co.uk/
Best for: sticking to your guns
Ratings:
Taste: 15/20
Flavour: 13/20
Buy again: 13/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 6/10
Intangible: 9/10

Handwritten notes: creamy, no bite, almost watery, like it was meant to be binged upon... no acid or carbonation really plays on the senses... tastes refreshing, but flavour is flat... but if this is the worst British beer (not to say it is, of course), then I'm moving to England... still worth a buy.

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Beer #88 of 3,652

Black Wych

Wychwood Black Wych
Type: stout
Container Type: 500mL bottle
Alcohol volume: 5.0%
Country of origin: England
Rating: 75% (see below)
Number of times I've had this type: 1st
Cost: $4.70
Tasted on: 4/11/09
Colours of label: Teal/Black/Silver

Drank From: Mug
Label Reads: "A velvety smooth stout with a full dry and biscuity flavour & a clean cut aromatic bitterness".
website: www.wychwood.co.uk
Best for: Art shows
Ratings:
Taste: 14/20
Flavour: 16/20
Buy again: 13/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 8/10
Intangible: 8/10
Handwritten notes: Classic stout flavour... nothing out of the ordinary... but burnt malty goodness nonetheless... smells very sweet but taste balances richness and hoppiness.
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Beer #70 of 3,652

Old Speckled Hen

Old Speckled Hen
Type: Ale
Container Type: 500 mL can
Alcohol volume: 5.2%
Country of origin: England
Rating: 72% (see below)
Number of times I've had this type: 3
Cost: $2.95
Tasted on: 4/3/09
Colours of can: Tan/Red/Brownish
Drank From: can
Label Reads: "A distinctive rich malty taste bursting with character, fruity aroma & deliciously smooth"
website: www.oldspeckledhen.co.uk/
Best for: watching the "tele"
Ratings:
Taste: 14/20
Flavour: 13/20
Buy again: 16/20
Aroma: 7/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Intangible: 6/10
Complexity: 8/10
Handwritten notes: Full-bodied... nutty?... bold and fruity flavour... it attacks your taste buds without mercy.
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Beer #57 of 3,652

Marston`s Old Empire IPA

Marston's Old Empire IPA
Type: India Pale Ale
Container Type: 500 mL bottle
Alcohol volume: 5.7%
Country of origin: England
Rating: 88% (see below)
Number of times I've had this type: first
Cost: $4.80
Tasted on: 4/3/09

Colours of bottle: Purple/Gold/White
Drank From: bottle
Label Reads: "Official Beer of England"
website: http://www.marstonsdontcompromise.co.uk/
Best for: extended periods of time in smelly, tropical countries
Ratings:
Taste: 18/20
Flavour: 18/20
Buy again: 17/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 9/10
Intangible: 9/10
Complexity: 9/10
Handwritten notes: Spicy, a world of bold and perfectly balanced flavours... drinking this beer makes me hate commercialized beer. I'll just say it, Canadian beer sucks.
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Beer #54 of 3,652

Wells Bombardier

Wells Bombardier
Type: Ale
Container Type: 500 mL bottle
Alcohol volume: 5.2%
Country of origin: England
Rating: 78% (see below)
Number of times I've had this type: first
Cost: $3.70
Tasted on: 4/3/09

Colours of bottle: Red/White/Blue
Drank From: Bears Mug
Label Reads: "Brewed in the heart of England, this is a richly rewarding traditional, burnished copper ale, bursting with English spirit." "Our own natural mineral water, the ripest English Fuggles hops and crushed Crystal malt deliver his experience of England in a glass. Peppery aromas give way to the perfect balance of malty richness, tangy hops and sultana fruit on the palate, with a long, soft spicy finish."
website: http://www.bombardier.co.uk/
Best for: playing billiards
Ratings:
Taste: 15/20
Flavour: 16/20
Buy again: 14/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Intangible: 8/10
Complexity 9/10
Handwritten notes: Interesting play on flavours... smell is deceiving, it smells stronger than it tastes... it tastes light and fruity, despite the alcohol content... a nice ale.

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Beer #53 of 3,652

Morocco Ale

Morocco Ale
Type: Ale
Container Type: 500 mL bottle
Alcohol volume: 5.5%
Country of origin: England
Rating: 89% (see below)
Number of times I've had this type: first
Cost: $4.60
Tasted on: 4/4/09
Colours of bottle: Green/Gold/White
Drank From: beer glass
Label Reads: "A rich, dark & mysterious ale brewed to the ancient recipe held secret at Levens Hall for 300 years" "The recipe for Morcco Ale is believed to date from Elizabethan times. Every May-time until 1877 the unique, dark, spiced Morocco Ale matured for 21 years, was served at a great feast held in Levens Gardens, Cumbria. The guests were required to stand on one leg and empty in a draught a tall constable glass filled with 'Morocco' whilst pledging to the Ancient House 'Luck to Levens' Whilst T'Kent flows'"
website: http://www.dalesidebrewery.com/morrocco.htm
Best for: standing on one leg, apparently.
Ratings:
Taste: 18/20
Flavour: 18/20
Buy again: 17/20
Aroma: 9/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Intangible: 9/10
Complexity 10/10
Handwritten notes: Fruity and tasting of ancient spices... a million different flavours meshing as one like a fruitcake... orange/pineapple/banana... painfully complex
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Beer #49 of 3,652