St. Sylvestre Du Moulin Pilsner

St. Sylvestre Du Moulin Pilsner
Type of beer: Pilsner
Container Type: 500 mL can
Alcohol by volume: 5.30 %
Country of origin: France
Rating: 33% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Drank From: HP Glass
website: http://www.brasserie-st-sylvestre.com/
Best for: hanging ten
Ratings:
Taste: 7/20
Flavour: 7/20
Buy again: 8/20
Aroma: 3/10
Satisfaction: 3/10
Complexity: 2/10
Intangible: 3/10

Handwritten notes: This pours stupidly clear. It tastes like steel dust. I had a fuck of a time at the LC trying to figure out the country of origin on this sucker. It just says "European Beer". There's a picture of a windmill on the can. That's like putting "Asian Beer" on a bottle. This beer ain't no good. It would not surprise me one iota to find out it's some generic grocery store brand from France. Right there next to "No Name" Brie and "Our Compliments" baguettes.

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Beer #535 of 3,652

Mongozo Premium Pilsener

Mongozo Premium Pilsener
Type of beer: Pilsner
Container Type: 330 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 5.00%
Country of origin: Netherlands
Rating: 63% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Drank From: Pilly glass
website: http://www.mongozo.com/
Best for: Saving the world and shit
Ratings:
Taste: 11/20
Flavour: 12/20
Buy again: 11/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 6/10
Complexity: 6/10
Intangible: 7/10

Handwritten notes: Best gluten free beer ever. But I guess that's like winning the "best smile" contest in London. That's right, limeys, I went there. It could be the simple fact that it is 1:00 a.m. when I'm writing this, and I'm not "driving around" sober. But this ain't a bad tasting beer. Sort of a dusty manufactured taste but, garsh help me, a hell of a lot better than a lot of beers.

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Beer #533 of 3,652

St. Pauli Girl

St. Pauli Girl
Type of beer: Pilsner
Container Type: 12 oz bottle
Alcohol by volume: 4.90%
Country of origin: Germany
Rating: 59% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Drank From: Pil Glass
website: http://www.stpauligirl.com/
Best for: Moving ahead, so life won't pass me by
Ratings:
Taste: 9/20
Flavour: 11/20
Buy again: 13/20
Aroma: 7/10
Satisfaction: 7/10
Complexity: 5/10
Intangible: 7/10

Handwritten notes: I saw the green bottle and got what I expected. Beck's, Lowenbrau, whatever you call yourself these days. Is there anything different in the taste to set it apart? Nah. A bit lighter mayhap? Nah. A chick with big jugs on the bottle? Yes, that sets it apart. I'm no feminist, nor am I a masculinist. But the bottle offends me. Maybe it's just there to feed your longing and sorrow. Hey, see this chick? You'll never get her. Now drink up, bucko! I... but... alright.

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Beer #505 of 3,652

PC Pilsener

PC Pilsener
Type of beer: Canadian Pilsner
Container Type: 355 mL can
Alcohol by volume: 5.00%
Country of origin: Canada
Rating: 39% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Drank From: Glass
website: n/a
Best for: floating on cloud 8.5
Ratings:
Taste: 9/20
Flavour: 8/20
Buy again: 8/20
Aroma: 4/10
Satisfaction: 4/10
Complexity: 2/10
Intangible: 4/10

Handwritten notes: Wah! Generic beer... for real, people. This is the PC take on Labatt Blue. Beer Advocate even says it's brewed by Labatt. Then why is it better than Blue? If this were indicative of Canadian Pilsner I would be a little less bitter and frustrated. This has a light and clean taste, ushering in some malty flavours. To be true, it still ain't that good. But if this were the worst Canadian Pilsner ever I would happily tattoo a maple leaf on my arm like some moronic tool with a 53 IQ. The true north, strong and free.

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Beer #481 of 3,652

Steam Whistle Pilsner

Steam Whistle Pilsner
Type of beer: Pilsner
Container Type: 341 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 5.00%
Country of origin: Canada
Rating: 50% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 11
Drank From: Flower vase
website: http://www.steamwhistle.ca/
Best for: Grown-up get-togethers
Ratings:
Taste: 12/20
Flavour: 11/20
Buy again: 12/20
Aroma: 3/10
Satisfaction: 4/10
Complexity: 3/10
Intangible: 5/10

Handwritten notes: First things first, this is a Canadian Pilsner. I was, however, surprised that the elements of a Canadian macro-Pilsner were subdued (metallic manufactured taste, dusty, flat hops, lingering taint of bleach). The beer came in the coolest box ever. See their website for how proud they are of their packaging: http://www.steamwhistle.ca/ourbeer/ourpackaging.php . Really, though given the choice between this and a Labatt Blue or a crack in the jaw, I'd take this. G'wan, give it a rip.

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Beer #462 of 3,652

Wernesgrüner

Wernesgrüner
Type of beer: Pilsner
Container Type: 500 mL can
Alcohol by volume: 4.90%
Country of origin: Germany
Rating: 53% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Drank From: HP Glass
website: http://www.wernesgruener.de/#/altersabfrage
Best for: lizard watching
Ratings:
Taste: 11/20
Flavour: 12/20
Buy again: 14/20
Aroma: 4/10
Satisfaction: 5/10
Complexity: 3/10
Intangible: 4/10

Handwritten notes: First of all, I love words that I can practice my bad German accent with. Ver-niss-groo-nerr?? Delightful. This has a crisp and decidedly European honeysuckle hoppiness. The taste lingers medicinally, like some grainy tincture. Overall, it's a bit ho-hum.

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Beer #453 of 3,652

Redhook Rope Swing

Redhook Rope Swing
Type of beer: Pilsner
Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 5.20%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 66% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.25
Tasted on: 6/25/10
Colours of label: Blue/Orange/White
Drank From: Heinie Glass
Label Reads: "Liquid Goodness since 1982".
website: www.redhook.com

Best for: watching "America's Funniest Home Videos" and laughing your ass off at the groin shots

Ratings:
Taste: 10/20
Flavour: 15/20
Buy again: 15/20
Aroma: 5/10
Satisfaction: 6/10
Complexity: 8/10
Intangible: 7/10

Handwritten notes: Compared to the Shiner 101, this is a more run of the mill pil (that's a good name for a beer, too). This beer has a longer linger on the bitterness that suits me just fine. To those who say "please don't let it linger" I say "fuck you and the Cranberries and why the fuck is that song in my memory. Get out!". I'm a fan of aftertaste and this beer has it in spades. Unfortunately, it does not have much else to set it apart from other Pillies.

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Beer #417 of 3,652

Shiner 101 Czech-Style Pilsner

Shiner 101 Czech-Style Pilsner
Type of beer: Pilsner
Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 4.60%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 61% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.25
Tasted on: 6/24/10
Colours of label: White/Black/Red
Drank From: Pil glass

Label Reads: "4 ingredients & 101 years of know-how. Simple things aren’t necessarily easy. In fact, when it comes to brewing, it’s tough to brew great beer with just a few ingredients. But fear not, at the little brewery in Shiner we know a thing or two about refining even the most challenging of old-world recipes. This Czech-style Pilsner is brewed with barley, hops, water, yeast and 101 years of brewing experience. Here’s to sticking to your roots and keeping things simple, PROSIT!"

website: www.shiner.com
Best for: frettin'
Ratings:
Taste: 13/20
Flavour: 12/20
Buy again: 11/20
Aroma: 6/10
Satisfaction: 6/10
Complexity: 6/10
Intangible: 7/10

Handwritten notes: This is a crisp and nice pilly. It is, however, not very bold, and I expected a grassy/flowery bite of hops. I can instantly tell that they have attempted to make a Pilsner, and not just some light-malt Lager. Like I said, it's "nice". But nice guys finish last, and I would know, cuz that would be the title of my autobiography. That, or "All About Ska".

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Beer #416 of 3,652

Russell Rocky Mountain Pilsner

Russell Rocky Mountain Pilsner
Type of beer: Canadian Pilsner
Container Type: 341 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 5.0%
Country of origin: Canada
Rating: 10% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.25
Tasted on: 11/15/09
Colours of label: Silver/Green/Black
Drank From: Pils Glass
Label Reads: "Canadian Style Pilsner", "Crisp. Clean. Natural"
website: www.russellbeer.com/
Best for: Wrapping it up
Ratings:
Taste: 2/20
Flavour: 3/20
Buy again: 2/20
Aroma: 0/10
Satisfaction: 3/10
Complexity: 0/10
Intangible: 0/10
Handwritten notes: Ugh, a pissy Canadian perversion of the Pilsner name. Hosers, let's put our heads together and think of a new name for "Canadian Pilsner". Every time I think "Pilsner" I think of a citrussy and bitter refreshing as fuck beverage. My mouth waters as I twist off the cap of a Canadian Pilsner, hoping that (just once) a Canadian brewery will get it right. Instead it's a Labatt Blue clone that's not worth much more than the 10 cent bottle deposit. Blah.
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Beer #369 of 3,652

Bitburger

Bitburger
Type of beer: Pilsner
Container Type: 330 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 4.8%
Country of origin: Germany
Rating: 68% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $2.00
Tasted on: 11/10/09
Colours of label: White/Gold/Black
Drank From: Frickin Bitburger Glass
Label Reads: "Made using crystal clear water from volcanic springs. Brewed since 1817 according to the German Purity law of 1516".
website: www.bitburger.com/
Best for: Blowing your Christmas bonus
Ratings:
Taste: 13/20
Flavour: 14/20
Buy again: 15/20
Aroma: 6/10
Satisfaction: 6/10
Complexity: 5/10
Intangible: 9/10
Handwritten notes: The thing about the German purity law is that no one ever references the German purity law of 1945. Somehow we've all forgotten about that. This is a straight up Pils which is refreshing after tasting godawful Canadian Pilsner. There is a tinny, bitey and dusty taste that really hits my spot. I saw this 6 pack of Bits with a free glass in a Christmas gift set and I really had no choice but to buy it. 13 bucks?? Good deal.

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Beer #360 of 3,652

Half Pints Phil's Pils

Half Pint's Phil's Pils
Type of beer: Pilsner
Container Type: 341 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 5.2%
Country of origin: Canada
Rating: 81% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $2.00
Tasted on: 9/19/09
Colours of label: Brown/Yellow/Red
Drank From: Phil's glass

Label Reads: "hoppy aroma and a malted honey flavour", "craft brewed in winnipeg, mb canada".

website: www.halfpintsbrewing.com

Best for: Realizing that Joni Mitchell is really not that bad... once you give her a chance. Sexy voice. Not a good looking woman, though. No sir, not at all. Joan Baez on the other hand.. hubba hubba.

Ratings:
Taste: 17/20
Flavour: 17/20
Buy again: 17/20
Aroma: 7/10
Satisfaction: 7/10
Complexity: 8/10
Intangible: 8/10

Handwritten notes: Every day I wake up, wash my face with goat's milk soap, and thank the sweet lord of liquor that I live in Winnipeg and have access to these beers. Lovely bitter hop taste on this guy, there to greet you at the door, and lead you in to the crisp-ass malt shindig going down on the back patio. Most "Phil"s I've ever met had moustaches and wore brown sweaters. I wish I was Phil. This may be the only time in your entire life you will hear a human being say "I wish I was Phil". There is a real fusion going on with this company's products that scratches me right where I itch. They have fused traditional Canadian-type maltiness with American craft brewing (in terms of hop flavour, mostly). Beer is food after all, and the food and drink of any region tell that region's history. Where am I going with this? Who knows. Go Goldeyes!

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Beer #303 of 3,652

Glutaner

Glutaner
Type of Beer: Pilsner
Container Type: 330 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 5.2%
Country of origin: Belgium
Rating: 9% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $4.65
Tasted on: 9/15/09
Colours of label: Yellow/White/Red

Drank From: Glass
Label Reads: "Traditionally brewed from gluten free ingredients", "Sorghum based premium pilsener".

website: n/a
Best for: squandering your inheritance
Ratings:
Taste: 2/20
Flavour: 1/20
Buy again: 0/20
Aroma: 1/10
Satisfaction: 2/10
Complexity: 2/10

Intangible: 1/10
Handwritten notes: If I had Celiac disease and had to drink this horrible crap I'd just as soon slit my throat. Picture, if you will, licking the blades of a dusty old fan that has been running non-stop all summer. You see how it tastes like old cat hair, skin flakes, dried snot, and stale bacon grease? Guess what, fellah, you just tasted Glutaner. KEEP AWAY.

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Beer #289 of 3,652

Herbman Bavarian Organic PILS

Herbman Bavarian Organic PILS
Type of beer: Pilsner
Container Type: 330 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 4.7%
Country of origin: Germany
Rating: 61% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $4.40
Tasted on: 8/11/09
Colours of label: Maroon/White/Green
Drank From: Pilsner glass
Label Reads: "Bringing you the world naturally!"
website: www.theherbsman.com
Best for: wiping that smirk off your face
Ratings:
Taste: 12/20
Flavour: 12/20
Buy again: 12/20
Aroma: 7/10
Satisfaction: 6/10
Complexity: 7/10
Intangible: 5/10

Handwritten notes: This beer is unfortunately more of a Canadian Pilsner than anything "Bavarian". Why do they go out of their way to say "Bavarian" rather than German? I see they still want to conquer the world though, which is always nice. I don't think that Herbsman has the wherewithal to conquer anything but a bong hit. Most "Herbsmen" I know are either too ripped to make a decision or too burnt out to act on it. Nevertheless, this beer tastes fresh or organic, which is maybe its only redeeming feature.

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Beer #268 of 3,652

Tuborg

Tuborg
Type of beer: Pilsner
Container Type: 500 mL can
Alcohol by volume: 5.5%
Country of origin: Denmark
Rating: 68% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $3.00
Tasted on: 7/3/09
Colours of label: Green/Gold/Black
Drank From: Glass
Label Reads: "By appointment to the Royal Danish Court", "Pure indulgence".
website: www.tuborg.com/
Best for: Locking and loading
Ratings:
Taste: 13/20
Flavour: 13/20
Buy again: 14/20
Aroma: 7/10
Satisfaction: 7/10
Complexity: 7/10
Intangible: 7/10
Handwritten notes: Another ho-hum German lager. When I first began this project I would have given this high marks, probably too high. Back then, all those weeks ago, German lagers were like shooting stars. I searched for them, and when I saw one, I was dazzled. Now they’re just like regular stars. They’re nice and they’re pretty, but they’re always there, so you kind of take them for granted. This is a crisp and somewhat lemony piece of work with a nice bite. (There, I’ve actually said something substantive about the beer).
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Beer #261 of 3,652

Labatt Blue Light

Labatt Blue Light
Type of beer: Canadian Pilsner
Container Type: 355 mL can
Alcohol by volume: 4.0%
Country of origin: Canada
Rating: 6% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.50
Tasted on: 7/30/09
Colours of label: Blue/Silver/White
Drank From: glass (not pictured)
Label Reads: n/a

website: www.labatt.com
Best for: Spending all your grocery money on scratch-and-wins.

Ratings:
Taste: 1/20
Flavour: 1/20
Buy again: 1 /20
Aroma: 0/10
Satisfaction: 1/10
Complexity: 0/10
Intangible: 2 /10
Handwritten notes: The only thing this beer is good for is spurring copyright infringement lawsuits from Kmart. Believe it or not, there is a difference in taste between this and Lab Lite. It is both sickening and sad to think that my taste buds have evolved to notice this difference.

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Beer #250 of 3,652

Pilsner

Pilsner
Type of beer: Canadian Pilsner
Container Type: 341 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 5.0%
Country of origin: Canada
Rating: 25% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 350
Cost: $1.50
Tasted on: 7/28/09
Colours of label: Green/Red/Yellow
Drank From: Pilsner glass
Label Reads: "After the famous Old Style formula".
website: http://www.oldstylepilsner.com/
Best for: waiting for Tron
Ratings:
Taste: 5/20
Flavour: 4/20
Buy again: 6/20
Aroma: 1/10
Satisfaction: 3/10
Complexity: 1/10
Intangible: 5/10

Handwritten notes: I don't think that any place could be further from Pilsen, Czech Republic than Winnipeg, Manitoba. This beer makes up for its unflinching macro taste with a bunch of cockamamie pictures on the label. There is some bold and noble history behind the label, but it's incredibly dull. I can say without exaggeration that this is the first and only time I have poured this beer into a glass. Really though, for a big time Molson-brewed beer, this could be worse. When I think Canadian beer I don't think Blue or Canadian, I think Pil.

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Beer #247 of 3,652

König Pilsener

König Pilsener
Type of beer: Pilsner
Container Type:500 mL can
Alcohol by volume: 4.9%
Country of origin: Germany
Rating: 79% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $3.00
Tasted on: 7/27/09
Colours of label: White/Gold/Silver
Drank From: Pilly glass
Label Reads: Crazy Kraut words
website: www.koenig.de/
Best for: Twisting your pretzel
Ratings:
Taste: 16/20
Flavour: 17/20
Buy again: 17/20
Aroma: 7/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 7/10
Intangible: 8/10

Handwritten notes: Yes, this beer is a true Pilsner and a true gentleman. The perfect bitterly intriguing taste and aftertaste to hell. I think that Pilsner is synonymous with aftertaste. Now, why in the funk would North Americans want to make a beer with no aftertaste? I used to hear this all the time: "no aftertaste!". Wha... why? Imagine the look on a doctor's face when you make an appointment, show up at the doctor's office, wait in the little waiting room reading Sports Illustrated from 2002, and then when the doctor comes in you say "yes, my imaginary friend here needs stitches". That's the look on my face when I hear "no aftertaste!".

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Beer #245 of 3,652

Lech

Lech
Type of beer: Pilsner
Container Type: 500 mL can
Alcohol by volume: 5.2%
Country of origin: Poland
Rating: 73% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $2.95
Tasted on: 7/23/09
Colours of label: Green/White/Gold
Drank From: glass
Label Reads: "Brewed with the finest ingredients".
website: n/a
Best for: spinning in circles
Ratings:
Taste: 15/20
Flavour: 13/20
Buy again: 16/20
Aroma: 7/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 6/10
Intangible: 8/10

Handwritten notes: For all of you lecherous Polaks, finally, a beer you can call your own. A very Pilsner tasting beer that I tasted not knowing it was from Poland. That whole light/lemony/bitter finish business is at work again. Yes, it's good, but the problem I have is that this beer is utterly un-unique, and as such I sit here twiddling my thumbs struggling to think of something to say about this beer that I haven't said before. How about this: this beer would look great in corduroy pants.

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Beer #235 of 3,652

Okocim Mocne

Okocim Mocne
Type of beer: Pilsner
Container Type: 500 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 7.0%
Country of origin: Poland
Rating: 74% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $3.50
Tasted on: 7/21/09
Colours of label: Black/Gold/Red
Drank From: Mug

Label Reads: "Polish Tradition", "Traditional Polish Taste", "For over 160 years, OKOCIM beer has been brewed from the finest ingredients, according to an unique Polish recipe, giving life to that extra special taste."

website: www.okocim.pl
Best for: Tending to your balcony garden
Ratings:
Taste: 15/20
Flavour: 13/20
Buy again: 17/20
Aroma: 6/10
Satisfaction: 9/10
Complexity: 6/10
Intangible: 8/10

Handwritten notes: This beer does not mention German purity laws and I don't blame it one bit. Frickin' Nazis. Folks, I'm a virtual paella of ethnicity but I relate the most to my Polish ancestry, as it is the least diluted by exile and prostitutes. I'm proud to be a Polak. And that's not something you hear every day, or every century. this beer is flowery, with a European hoppy taste. Like a lot of Polaks I know, this beer is straight up in your face without any complexity. This is one of the cases where the higher ABV matches the beer's taste perfectly. As I drank a few further sips, though, the taste began to blur under the alcohol's numbing effect.

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Beer #233 of 3,652

Kelowna Pilsner

Kelowna Pilsner
Type of beer: Pilsner
Container Type: 500 mL can
Alcohol by volume: 4.8%
Country of origin: Canada
Rating: 74% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $2.95
Tasted on: 7/17/09
Colours of label: Maroon/Silver/Blue
Drank From: GW Glass

Label Reads: "A crisp refreshing Pilsner with a mild hop flavour.", "TREE Brewing company takes craft brewing seriously. We brew in small batches using only water, malt, hops and yeast to produce the highest quality, award winning beer. Try our selection of all natural unpasteurized beers, sure to satisfy some of the most discriminating craft beer drinkers & judges. Drop by the brewery located in beautiful Kelowna, British Columbia and we'll show you firsthand how we make great beer. Until then... Cheers!"

website: www.treebeer.com
Best for: smelling of success
Ratings:
Taste: 13/20
Flavour: 15/20
Buy again: 15/20
Aroma: 7/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 8/10
Intangible: 8/10

Handwritten notes: I was giddy upon finding this and Thirsty Beaver at my local LC. My giddiness was well founded, like that one Christmas you remember as a kid when you got exactly what you wanted. This is an adventurous take on the Canadian Pilsner. Yes, Canadian Pilsner. It is its own genre. This has more of a light ale taste than a pilsner. Canada has bastardized the pilsner name, but this beer does it damn well. The hops are more subdued than I'd like but a lovely flavourful flowery malt taste nonetheless. This is a great Canadian craft in that it does not pander and is not cliche. Me likey.

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Beer #221 of 3,652