New Belgium Somersault

New Belgium Somersault
Type of beer: Blonde Ale
Container Type: 12 oz bottle
Alcohol by volume: 5.20%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 74% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Drank From: Glass
website: http://www.newbelgium.com/
Best for: Tumbling
Ratings:
Taste: 14/20
Flavour: 14/20
Buy again: 15/20
Aroma: 7/10
Satisfaction: 7/10
Complexity: 9/10
Intangible: 8/10

Handwritten notes: Is this an amber or a blonde? What's the fecking difference anyways? This has a plummy/pruney base and a hop-top. Luckily it does not assault you with any particular flavour and you are left with a "beerey" aftertaste. There is definitely a transition of flavour going on. Somersaults are easy. Cartwheels are hard. I can do one but I'm not sure if I'm doing it right. When's the last time you (yeah, you) did a cartwheel or somersault? That's why growing up sucks. That's why.

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Beer #539 of 3,652

Lost Coast Great White

Lost Coast Great White
Type of beer: White Beer
Container Type: 1 pint 6 oz bottle
Alcohol by volume: 4.80%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 73% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Drank From: Bears
website: http://www.lostcoast.com/
Best for: The dead of summer
Ratings:
Taste: 13/20
Flavour: 13/20
Buy again: 15/20
Aroma: 7/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 8/10
Intangible: 7/10

Handwritten notes: This is a very peachy/apricotty swoosh in the old kisser. Pineapple? Something orange or yellowy/orange. Not too bad a way to spend a hot summer night. I like a lot of what Lost Coast has done but they need to cool it with the cutsie labels. No more Freddie Mercury looking sharks, no more acid trip tangerine suns. The thing about cutsie labels is that I always think the company is trying too hard because their beer is shite. Just play it cool, LC. Play it cool.

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Beer #536 of 3,652

Tree Brewing Hefeweizen

Tree Brewing Hefeweizen
Type of beer: Hefeweizen
Container Type: 650 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 5.00%
Country of origin: Canada
Rating: 70% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Drank From: Bears
website: http://www.treebeer.com/
Best for: Dreaming
Ratings:
Taste: 13/20
Flavour: 14/20
Buy again: 15/20
Aroma: 7/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 7/10
Intangible: 7/10

Handwritten notes: A somewhat standard heffer, much less abrasive than I would have expected. The label points to banana and clove flavours, but I taste a predominant anise/black licorice flavour. Smooth. Smooth move, ex-lax. Remember that shit? What the Funk & Wagnalls does that mean? Anyways, they should make laxatives that taste like this beer. If they did, I'd never be off the shitter. And was there really a guy named John Crapper? Ahh, that's for another time.

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Beer #531 of 3,652

Flying Dog Kerberos Tripel

Flying Dog Kerberos Tripel
Type of beer: Tripel
Container Type: 12 oz bottle
Alcohol by volume: 8.50%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 76% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Drank From: Glass
website: http://flyingdogales.com/
Best for: going 10 rounds
Ratings:
Taste: 13/20
Flavour: 15/20
Buy again: 15/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 10/10
Complexity: 7/10
Intangible: 8/10

Handwritten notes: This is a juicy type tripel with a pleasant back o' the throat bite and a sweet alcohol fade. A punchy-punch head swimmer. I would like to drink like 6 of these and then try and paint a bowl of fruit. It would likely end up being a doodle of a giant robot fighting a tank and Ernie taking bong hits.

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Beer #529 of 3,652

Estrella Damm Inedit

Estrella Damm Inedit
Type of beer: White
Container Type: 750 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 4.80%
Country of origin: Spain
Rating: 73% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Drank From: Afflighem Glass
website: http://www.estrelladamm.com/
Best for: Coconut crusted shrimp. Or hot dogs, I don't know.
Ratings:
Taste: 13/20
Flavour: 14/20
Buy again: 15/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 7/10
Intangible: 8/10

Handwritten notes: This is an very flowery, spicy (spice-like, not spicy hot) blonde-tasting beer. What's the deal with albinos? Is it wrong that they make me vomit in my throat? This beer has to be a blonde... if it is, I win the Olympics again (**checked - wrong! No Olympics this year**). Somehow the mouth-coating sweetness carries a distinctive honey and caramel, but lightly. This beer is meant to be dranken with a meal, or so the little pamphlet says. I may be so crude that my name ought to be Phillip Stein but this whole matching beer and food idea means nothing to me. I just don't get it, like those old 3D eye pictures. I never got those either, ever. People were like ooh! a rocket ship! and all I ever saw was cat vomit. I tried (both matching beer with food and 3D posters). Believe me, I've tried.

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Beer #521 of 3,652

Flying Dog Snake Dog IPA

Flying Dog Snake Dog IPA
Type of beer: IPA
Container Type: 12 oz bottle
Alcohol by volume: 7.10%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 74% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Drank From: HP Glass
website: http://flyingdogales.com/
Best for: Inter-netting
Ratings:
Taste: 14/20
Flavour: 15/20
Buy again: 15/20
Aroma: 7/10
Satisfaction: 9/10
Complexity: 7/10
Intangible: 7/10

Handwritten notes: Hahahaha I see why they call it Snake Dog. It snakes on you! Hahahaha. I AM LAUGHING OUT LOUD. I don't believe in cutsie abbreviations or finding euphemisms for grapefruit IPAs. I am a fan of sarcasm. So everyone knows there's no word that rhymes with orange. Well, nothing rhymes with grapefruit either. Or lemon. Or kumquat. Well, kumquat, okay, but the rest not. This IPA is soul warming and makes you think like a 1980s stand up comedian. I AM ROLLING ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING MY ANUS OFF.

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Beer #520 of 3,652

Spaten Optimator

Spaten Optimator
Type of beer: Doppelbock
Container Type: 12 oz bottle
Alcohol by volume: 7.20%
Country of origin: Germany
Rating: 74% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Drank From: Bit glass
website: http://www.spatenbraeu.de/
Best for: car-pooling
Ratings:
Taste: 14/20
Flavour: 13/20
Buy again: 15/20
Aroma: 13/10
Satisfaction: 7/10
Complexity: 9/10
Intangible: 8/10

Handwritten notes: This tastes very bock-like. I can't tell by the bottle if it's really a bock. If it is, I win. I win the Olympics. If not, then boo. (**Confirmed! I win the Olympics!**). Somehow I find this name to be super bad-ass. But if you go around saying "Spaten Optimator Dopplebock" it sounds like you've got a mouthful of marbles. This has a deep caramel taste with floral notes that I was hoping Beck's Dark would carry. Very smooth and syrupy, but pleasantly so. Well, as they say in Germany, "C'est la vie".

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Beer #508 of 3,652

Half Pints Weizen Heimer

Half Pints Weizen Heimer
Type of beer: Hefeweizen
Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 5.0%
Country of origin: Canada
Rating: 73% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 6
Drank From: Big Rock Glass
website: www.halfpintsbrewing.com/
Best for: tuning your radio
Ratings:
Taste: 13/20
Flavour: 15/20
Buy again: 16/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 6/10
Complexity: 7/10
Intangible: 8/10

Handwritten notes: (How old is this review? Over a year and a half I think. The bottle is covered in dust. I remember the spring of 2010... not really)

A strong-ass banana "naner sammij" flavour, but a wheaty-bitter finish like I've never had. It's not a citrus finish, there's no lemon or orange in this one. Nor does there appear to be any coriander, fennel, cumin, cardamom, saffron, or nutmeg. Did you know you can get real messed up on nutmeg? Look it up people. Whatever that means, this is a refreshing take on the usual whites. All white people look alike to me, anyways.

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Beer #506 of 3,652

Abita Jockamo IPA

Abita Jockamo IPA
Type of beer: IPA
Container Type: 12 oz bottle
Alcohol by volume: 6.50%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 77% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Drank From: Giny Glass
website: http://www.abita.com/
Best for: setting your flag on fire
Ratings:
Taste: 15/20
Flavour: 16/20
Buy again: 16/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 6/10
Intangible: 8/10

Handwritten notes: This is an IPA that does not leave your mouth feeling violated, sitting clutching its knees in the shower in a desperate attempt to feel clean again. Now, that subtlety is unique for an IPA these days. Really though I'd prefer this sugary tartness to some "set your mouth on fire" IPA. Talkin' bout hey now.

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Beer #500 of 3,652

Abita Restoration Pale Ale

Abita Restoration Pale Ale
Type of beer: Pale Ale
Container Type: 12 oz bottle
Alcohol by volume: 5.00%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 74% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Drank From: Glass
website: http://www.abita.com/
Best for: organizing your pills
Ratings:
Taste: 13/20
Flavour: 13/20
Buy again: 16/20
Aroma: 7/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 9/10
Intangible: 8/10

Handwritten notes: Kind of a strange beer in that it doesn't come at you with claws a-flailin' but sits back in a lawn chair of clean citrus. Zows. But not zows as in busting my head off, but zows as in it comes at you straight without much fuss, letting the caramelly and citrussy flavours develop organically in your kisser. A tribute to Louisiana I guess (I just read the label - restoration refers to the rebuild after the hurricanes). To this day, the Superdome is my favourite place to get raped. Oh, c'mon now.

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Beer #497 of 3,652

North Coast Old Rasputin Russian Imperial Stout

North Coast Old Rasputin Russian Imperial Stout
Type of beer: Imperial Stout
Container Type: 12 oz bottle
Alcohol by volume: 9.00%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 78% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Drank From: Glass
website: http://www.northcoastbrewing.com/
Best for: walking the line
Ratings:
Taste: 15/20
Flavour: 15/20
Buy again: 14/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 10/10
Complexity: 8/10
Intangible: 8/10

Handwritten notes: I've actually heard quite a bit about this beer through the online grapevine. Damn you pricks with your beer blogs that actually "look good" and have "substance" and lack "fucking curse words". But did this beer live up to the hype? Yup. The best thing about this beer is the complexity brought by the wine like nostril flaring booziness. Somehow this roasty-toasty bevvy gets evened out by the high alcohol content. There. Good. I got through the whole review without a Boney M reference. Done.

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Beer #496 of 3,652

Tree Brewing Captivator DoppelBock

Tree Brewing Captivator DoppelBock
Type of beer: Doppelbock
Container Type: 650 mL
Alcohol by volume: 8.00%
Country of origin: Canada
Rating: 71% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Drank From: Okto mug
website: http://www.treebeer.com/
Best for: inducing a coma
Ratings:
Taste: 14/20
Flavour: 13/20
Buy again: 13/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 6/10
Intangible: 7/10

Handwritten notes: The initial taste is "Halloween candy" and then a bitter pasty mouth finish. A lovely tummy warming feeling. I brought this puppy home and waited patiently for an overcast rainy day. It was the worst 4 days of my life. But here is the rainy overcast night, sweet warm humid breeze flowing over my nostrils. This beer kind of reminds me of the old Nostadamus doppel. Let's not romanticize, though. This is overall a B+ student. But so was I, so let's go get some tacos.

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Beer #493 of 3,652

Flying Dog Old Scratch Amber Lager

Flying Dog Old Scratch Amber Lager
Type of beer: Steam Beer
Container Type: 12 oz bottle
Alcohol by volume: 5.50%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 73% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Drank From: HP glass
website: http://flyingdogales.com/
Best for: laying low
Ratings:
Taste: 13/20
Flavour: 15/20
Buy again: 16/20
Aroma: 7/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 6/10
Intangible: 8/10

Handwritten notes: This is a straight up punk ass beer. It's a malt bomb (for once) with only a flittering of citrussy hops. This is a real nice spring beer, good for a smoky barbecue day. This actually tastes like what I came to know as "good beer" from my youth (the days when there were no microbreweries in Canada per say, except that you could find the odd Big Rock six-pack for $9.10 - a lot of money at the time). Peace and love, brothers.

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Beer #491 of 3,652

Big Sky Moose Drool Brown Ale

Big Sky Moose Drool Brown Ale
Type of beer: Brown Ale
Container Type: 12 oz bottle
Alcohol by volume: 5.10%
Country of origin: Canada
Rating: 75% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Drank From: Red Man
website: http://www.bigskybrew.com/
Best for: sweating
Ratings:
Taste: 14/20
Flavour: 15/20
Buy again: 15/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 7/10
Intangible: 7/10

Handwritten notes: This is a classic brown ale. When I think "brown", this taste comes to mind. It takes you all the way up the smoky stairs to dark beer town, then leaves you outside standing in the rain with a wilted bouquet of flowers in your hand saying "what did I do wrong?". But you're better off for having loved and lost, pal-o. And this is a dern good brown ale.

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Beer #490 of 3,652

Russell Blood Alley ESB

Russell Blood Alley ESB
Type of beer: ESB
Container Type: 650 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 5.50%
Country of origin: Canada
Rating: 78% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Drank From: Bears
website: http://www.russellbeer.ca/
Best for: Eating tofu
Ratings:
Taste: 15/20
Flavour: 16/20
Buy again: 15/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 8/10
Intangible: 8/10

Handwritten notes: A slightly bitter ESB (the bottle says 50 IBU), leaving a musing of aftertaste of Canadian hops and malt. This is an almost perfect Canadian (decidedly Canadian tasting) ESB. That brown sugar tenderness is there, before and after the hop lovin'. I'm having deja vu. Have I used this phrase before? I love that feeling. I can't remember what I did yesterday, but I feel like I'm remembering shit that never happened. This beer is worth the $6.50 price tag any day, God bless you Russell, whoever you are.

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Beer #488 of 3,652

Widmer Brothers Citra Blonde Summer Brew

Widmer Brothers Citra Blonde Summer Brew
Type of beer: Blonde Ale
Container Type: 12 oz bottle
Alcohol by volume: 4.30%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 73% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Drank From: Glass
website: http://widmerbrothers.com/
Best for: Rebelling
Ratings:
Taste: 13/20
Flavour: 14/20
Buy again: 15/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 7/10
Intangible: 8/10

Handwritten notes: Smells kind of like a really good lemon cake. And I hate baked goods. I know that's a fucked thing to say, but it's true. I am not a fan of sweet food. But I am a big fan of this beer. The label reads "satisfyingly sessionable". True dat. I wish I had brought a hell of a lot more than one back from the US and A. There is a soft citrus to this beer, more than some hop-induced hallucination. And, for the summer of 2011 only, I love fruit beer. I don't 3/4 of a fuck if they actually put lemon in this beer. Buy it, drink it, live it... and piss it out, I guess... eventually.

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Beer #487 of 3,652

Raasted Grilløl

Raasted Grilløl
Type of beer: IPA
Container Type: 330 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 5.00%
Country of origin: Demark
Rating: 74% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Drank From: Glass
website: http://raasted-bryghus.dk/
Best for: shopping for wigs
Ratings:
Taste: 14/20
Flavour: 15/20
Buy again: 16/20
Aroma: 7/10
Satisfaction: 7/10
Complexity: 7/10
Intangible: 7/10

Handwritten notes: This is a super citrussy beer, lemon zest and lemon pith. I couldn't read the cockamamie language on the bottle so I assumed (looking at the flames on the bottle and the "Grill" in the title that it would be some sort of smoked offering. Danish and English have little in common so grillol could mean perineum for all I know. Turns out it's a unique take on the IPA, more sweet and lemony than I'm used to. Kinda good. No, actually good. Kinda awesome.

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Beer #478 of 3,652

Deschutes Black Butte Porter

Deschutes Black Butte Porter
Type of beer: Porter
Container Type: 12 oz bottle
Alcohol by volume: 5.20%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 75% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Drank From: Ginny glass
website: http://www.deschutesbrewery.com
Best for: Pretending you're Batman
Ratings:
Taste: 16/20
Flavour: 15/20
Buy again: 15/20
Aroma: 6/10
Satisfaction: 7/10
Complexity: 8/10
Intangible: 8/10

Handwritten notes: A neat-o Porter, reminding me why I like Porter. It certainly isn't "too much" and therefore it is a Goldilocks beer. (Remember that term. I have just coined it. Every time you use it you MUST pay Pat Riley $17.41). Somehow the lightness of a porter allows more space for the dark beer flavours to roam. On second sip, there is a sort of not-unpleasant woody taste that is omnipresent. You know, you drink over 500 different beers and you begin to become jaded. I say "Oh, another porter. Great." when I should be saying "OH, another Porter!!!! GREAT!!!" I think this beer has revirginized* my taste buds. Well, it's not that dramatic, but it's pretty solid.

*patent pending
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Beer #474 of 3,652

Red Racer ESB

Red Racer ESB
Type of beer: ESB
Container Type: 355 mL can
Alcohol by volume: 5.60%
Country of origin: Canada
Rating: 74% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Drank From: HP Glass
website: http://www.centralcitybrewing.com/
Best for: giving a care
Ratings:
Taste: 13/20
Flavour: 15/20
Buy again: 16/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 6/10
Intangible: 8/10

Handwritten notes: I still don't know what ESB means. Extra Special/Strong Bitter or early spring beer? To me it's just a grapefruit express. It's still amazing to me that the evolution of craft beer took so long to hit hoser shores. Still, hooray for progress, woo. It's hard to believe this beer comes from some little brewpub in BC. That's just amazing, and takes me back to some past-life 1700s township where every pub brewed its own beer. I long for the days when I'd be considered an old man at 33.

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Beer #468 of 3,652

Great Lakes Orange Peel Ale

Great Lakes Orange Peel Ale
Type of beer: Ale
Container Type: 650 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 5.30 %
Country of origin: Canada
Rating: 71% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Drank From: HP Glass
website: http://www.greatlakesbeer.com/
Best for: Facing the truth
Ratings:
Taste: 13/20
Flavour: 14/20
Buy again: 16/20
Aroma: 6/10
Satisfaction: 7/10
Complexity: 7/10
Intangible: 8/10

Handwritten notes: Whaaaaaaa?? This beer may have been in my fridge longer than any beer before, or any after it. Each time I looked at it I felt dread, knowing that one day I would have to open and ingest it. The image of some sickly sweet Terry's Chocolate orange from hell kept entering my mind. But, dad-gum it if it's not one of the best damn fruit beers I've ever had. It has a noticeably bitter bite with a present, but not oppressive hint of mandarin oranges. Honestly, a lot of IPAs taste more like fruit than this does. It actually works. The lesson is: never put off until tomorrow what you can drink today.

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Beer #454 of 3,652