George Killian's Irish Red

George Killian's Irish Red
Type of beer: Amber/Red Lager
Container Type: 12 oz bottle
Alcohol by volume: 4.90%
Country of origin: United States
Rating:48% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Drank From: Ho-maid cup (ha ha it says "moo")
website: http://www.georgekillians.com/
Best for: Listening to "Infidels"
Ratings:
Taste: 10/20
Flavour: 9/20
Buy again: 9/20
Aroma: 5/10
Satisfaction: 5/10
Complexity: 5/10
Intangible: 5/10

Handwritten notes: Ahh, Richard Reed's. This has a metallic tasting barbecue sauce sweetness (and I'm talking Kansas City barbecue here). Still, perhaps better than other Reds I've had, including my trip to Moscow in 1984 (waka waka). This has more of an aftertaste, which I can always appreciate. Somewhat. Killian's. Yeah, pure 100% Irish made. Puh.

The label says "21 means 21". It just made me realize how laughable the drinking age in the USA is. Kill for your country? Yes. Vote? Yes. Smoke 2 packs of cigarettes a day? Sure. Buy stacks of porn and read it at a gentleman's club? Ah, why not. Have a beer after work? NO! FUCK NO!! DAMN YOU TO THE DE**L DEMON ALCOHOL!!! You Americans cling like fuck to your puritanical roots. Dude, it's 2011. Deal.
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Beer #504 of 3,652

Michelob Honey Lager

Michelob Honey Lager
Type of beer: Amber/Red Lager
Container Type: 12 oz bottle
Alcohol by volume: 4.90%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 14% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Drank From: Bit glass
website: http://www.michelob.com/
Best for: Slapping your dog silly
Ratings:
Taste: 3/20
Flavour: 2/20
Buy again: 2/20
Aroma: 3/10
Satisfaction: 2/10
Complexity: 1/10
Intangible: 1/10

Handwritten notes: Oh, I get the market for Michelob now. It's diff (apostrophe) rent. It's not strange, scary, and frightening like the wicked craft beers you see. This is the kind of beer that you read the label of and know what to expect. It's good for people with anxiety disorders and the generally emotionally fragile. I have to admit, just the mention of "craft beer" makes me soil my trousers. Thank you, Michelob. You are the rock that keeps me from soaring away. Yuck.

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Beer #503 of 3,652

Grain Belt Nordeast

Grain Belt Nordeast
Type of beer: Amber/Red Lager
Container Type: 12 oz bottle
Alcohol by volume: 4.70%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 69% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer:1st
Drank From: Ho-maid cup
website: http://www.schellsbrewery.com/
Best for: playing roulette
Ratings:
Taste: 14/20
Flavour: 13/20
Buy again: 14/20
Aroma: 6/10
Satisfaction: 7/10
Complexity: 7/10
Intangible: 8/10

Handwritten notes: I bought this fully expecting not to like it. Regular Grain belt was an American nightmare. However, I've lived my life the way I have fully expecting not to live this long. Both have been somewhat pleasant surprises. It is what it is. A lot of people say that now. I prefer saying "this is this" with a distorted Bob DeNiro sneer. This beer is a bock-ish brown sugar wafer, but lighter and distinctly caramel. I love it. You buy it! You buy it! Di di mao!

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Beer #501 of 3,652

Dundee Original Honey Brown

Dundee Original Honey Brown
Type of beer: Amber
Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 4.50%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 35% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.25
Tasted on: 7/11/10
Colours of label: Yellow/Brown/Black
Drank From: HP Glass

Label Reads: “What’s supposed to go in beer? German purity laws say you’re only allowed four ingredients. But this is America . . . the land of individualism, civil disobedience, and footballs that don’t roll like the rest of the world wants them to. So we decided that for Dundee Honey Brown we’d add a fifth — a touch of pure honey. Granted, that’s a recipe that’s a little different. But we figure you can be like everyone else or you can be yourself and drink something unique. Go ahead. Be different.”

website: http://www.dundeebeer.com/
Best for: idolizing David Suzuki
Ratings:
Taste: 8/20
Flavour: 6/20
Buy again: 4/20
Aroma: 6/10
Satisfaction: 3/10
Complexity: 5/10
Intangible: 3/10

Handwritten notes: This beer is just sweet enough to be gross. There is a noticeable honey quality that sticks in your throat like peanut butter to the roof of a dog's mouth. I am not generally a fan of sweet things of any kind, be they people, potatoes, or women named "Caroline". I sure as shootin' don't want a diabetes causing beer on a sunny ass summer day. But today I watched an episode of "The Nature of Things" about bees which was quite fascinating. This made me want to give a honey beer a shot. Shot given. Strike taken.

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Beer #422 of 3,652

Widmer Brothers Drop Top Amber Ale

Widmer Brothers Drop Top Amber Ale

Type of beer: Amber Ale

Container Type: 355 mL bottle

Alcohol by volume: 5.00%

Country of origin: United States

Rating: 65% (see below)

Number of times I've had this beer: 1st

Cost: $1.25

Tasted on: 6/4/10

Colours of label: Orange/Brown/White

Drank From: Mug

Label Reads: "Brewers of Quality Beers"

website: www.widmer.com

Best for: Watching the Food Network

Ratings:

Taste: 11/20

Flavour: 11/20

Buy again: 15/20

Aroma: 8/10

Satisfaction: 7/10

Complexity: 6/10

Intangible: 7/10

Handwritten notes: I'm 3 beers into the 62 different ones I've recently brought back from the US and A, and I have yet to be hop-bombed. While I'm sure that will come, this beer is a pleasant billowy maple syrup nutty piece of work. This is what Rickard's Red aspires to be. It's still not my favourite style, but alright for a early-summer eve. I'd probably look this beer up at some point in the future just to say w'sup. I wouldn't seek it out, but (as many a lascivious old man has said) I wouldn't kick it out of bed for snoring.

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Beer #393 of 3,652

New Belgium Fate Tire Amber Ale

New Belgium Fate Tire Amber Ale
Type of beer:Amber Beer
Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 5.20%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 70% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.00
Tasted on: 11/16/09
Colours of label: Blue/Yellow/Green
Drank From: Red Man Mug
Label Reads: "Fat Tire Amber Ale’s appeal is in its feat of balance: toasty, biscuit-like malt flavors coasting in equilibrium with hoppy freshness. Named in honor of Jeff’s mountain bike trip from brewery through Europe.
Fat Tire is still crafted following the original home brew recipe that Jeff brainstormed on this cycling trip"

website: http://www.newbelgium.com/
Best for: Telling banal stories about cycling through some dumbass European countryside. BIG DEAL! One time I got the high score on Batman pinball. Fucker.

Ratings:
Taste: 12/20
Flavour: 13/20
Buy again: 14/20
Aroma: 7/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 9/10
Intangible: 7/10
Handwritten notes: Despite my obvious disdain for self-romanticized stories, this beer is actually quite good. It is a unique sort of Amber, looking quite like an ordinary beer, but dabbling in witchcraft in its dizzying use of different underlying flavours. Is that cloves I taste? Or was it licorice? Who knows. The main body is a sour/bitter taste much like other ambers. What makes this beer stand apart are the very subtle flavours that you have to chase after.

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Beer #370 of 3,652

Leinenkugel Classic Amber

Leinenkugel Classic Amber

Type of beer: Amber
Container Type: 355 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 4.90%
Country of origin: United States
Rating: 37% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $1.25
Tasted on: 11/11/09
Colours of label: Yellow/Red/Gold
Drank From: Glass

Label Reads: "Lager with 100 % malted barley and the perfect blend of Hallertau, Cluster, Cascade and Mt. Hood hops". "Carefully brewed by the Leinenkugel family for five generations", "The pride of Chippewa Falls, Wisconsin since 1867".

website: www.leinie.com
Best for: working out

Ratings:
Taste: 7/20
Flavour: 8/20
Buy again: 10/20
Aroma: 4/10
Satisfaction: 4/10
Complexity: 2/10
Intangible: 2/10
Handwritten notes: This will be the last opportunity I'll have to slander Leinie for a while. This is a sour amber with a metallic bite like you'd find in a faux premium. I don't know what else to say about a company that makes beers just above mediocre. Are they great? No. Are they terrible? No. Are they worth buying and doling out to your friends at a barbecue instead of Bud Light to prove you're classy? Ugh.
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Beer #362 of 3,652

G. Menabrea e Figli

G. Menabrea e Figli
Type of beer: Amber Beer
Container Type: 330 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 5.0%
Country of origin: Italy
Rating: 78% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $4.50
Tasted on: 8/4/09

Colours of label: Gold/Brown
Drank From: Glass
Label Reads: "Amber Beer"
website: n/a
Best for: Going hog wild
Ratings:
Taste: 15/20
Flavour: 16/20
Buy again: 15/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 7/10
Complexity: 8/10
Intangible: 9/10
Handwritten notes: This beer is unique, which I do appreciate. It carries a smoky taste, but with a brightness like a bowl of chili with cilantro on top. This brew is almost like a Frankenstein: it is smooth like a draught ale, bitter like a Pilsner, and caramelly like a Bock. “Fire bad”, but this beer “good”.

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Beer #264 of 3,652

Faxe Amber

Faxe Amber
Type of beer: Amber Beer
Container Type: 500 mL can
Alcohol by volume: 5.0%
Country of origin: Denmark
Rating: 62% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $2.60
Tasted on: 8/3/09
Colours of label: Brown/Gold/Green
Drank From: Glass
Label Reads: "Danish Amber Beer".
website: www.faxe.com

Best for: Going bald
Ratings:
Taste: 12/20
Flavour: 13/20
Buy again: 12/20
Aroma: 6/10
Satisfaction: 7/10
Complexity: 6/10
Intangible: 6/10
Handwritten notes: This beer is nothing to jump and shout about. It kind of reminds one of a macro company trying to make a “premium” beer to sell to idiots at a higher mark-up. I’m thinking of Budweiser Select, by the way. There’s two kinds of premium in this beer world: one is a meaningless verbalized pause like “uuuuhh...”, and the other means that the product will cost you more money despite being virtually the same thing. (There will be a slight difference in the expensive premium product, though, enough to make you think that extra time and resources were spent on it, thus justifying the mark-up). Some people need to get their Faxe straight. Speaking of Faxe, this beer is a flavour-reduced amber with little or no standout qualities.
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Beer #263 of 3,652

Pauwel Kwak

Pauwel Kwak

Type of beer: Amber

Container Type: 330 mL bottle

Alcohol by volume: 8.4%

Country of origin: Belgium

Rating: 71% (see below)

Number of times I've had this beer: 1st

Cost: $4.30

Tasted on: 6/10/09

Colours of label: Gold/Maroon/Yellow

Drank From: I couldn't find one of those f-ed up glasses that looks like a beaker so I used this tulip glass.

Label Reads: "Family brewery since 1791", " A unique Belgian specialty".

website: www.bestbelgianspecialbeers.be/

Best for: garage sale-ing

Ratings:

Taste: 13/20

Flavour: 14/20

Buy again: 12/20

Aroma: 8/10

Satisfaction: 9/10

Complexity: 8/10

Intangible: 7/10

Handwritten notes: Belgium can do no wrong, in my books. This is exactly what you would expect from a strong Belgian beer, powerful aroma and punch in the mouth taste. Dried fruit and candy. A caramel malt explosion. Not like Music Explosion... though this beer does have "A Little Bit of Soul". You see, when I make jokes that only I understand, it makes me feel smart and important.

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Beer #191 of 3,652

Pietra

Pietra
Type: Amber beer
Container Type: 330 mL bottle
Alcohol volume: 6.0%
Country of origin: France
Rating: 63% (see below)
Number of times I've had this type: 1st
Cost: $3.60
Tasted on: 4/11/09
Colours of label: Gold/Yellow/Black
Drank From: Mr. Mugs
Label Reads: "Strong beer brewed with chestnut flour".
website: www.brasseriepietra.com/en/pgs/pietra1_en.htm
Best for: Looking down on others
Ratings:
Taste: 11/20
Flavour: 12/20
Buy again: 10/20
Aroma: 7/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 8/10
Intangible: 7/10

Handwritten notes: smoky/woody flavour... strange taste, like a swamp in springtime... not as sweet as I would have expected... Very hoppy, unique flavour but not altogether appetizing.

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Beer #81 of 3,652