Tripel Karmeliet

Tripel Karmeliet
Type of beer: Tripel
Container Type: 330 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 8.40%
Country of origin: Belgium
Rating: 81% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Drank From: Glass
website: http://www.bestbelgianspecialbeers.be/
Best for: a Moondance
Ratings:
Taste: 15/20
Flavour: 16/20
Buy again: 17/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 9/10
Complexity: 8/10
Intangible: 8/10

Handwritten notes: Aww, nice. That old strange yellow fruity taste and peppery finish. Every once in a while when you get down in the mouth about life, and you find yourself lacking the energy to tie your shoes and you find yourself getting up from your recliner to get 2 beers (both for yourself), throw a tripel down your neck. Liquid Prozac, pals.

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Beer #522 of 3,652

Wittekerke

Wittekerke
Type of beer: White
Container Type: 11.2 oz bottle
Alcohol by volume: 5.00%
Country of origin: Belgium
Rating: 60% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Drank From: Glass
website: http://www.bavik.be/
Best for: Diddy wa Diddie
Ratings:
Taste: 11/20
Flavour: 11/20
Buy again: 11/20
Aroma: 6/10
Satisfaction: 6/10
Complexity: 8/10
Intangible: 7/10

Handwritten notes: It looks like lemonade. It tastes like something close to lemonade. A very citrussy flowery taste, thank heavens with no aftertaste of rotten sunflower seeds. Somewhere in the cellar of taste there's the most crisp "beer" taste ever. And finally, a banana finish. Ahh, esters, that strange science that makes beers taste like fruit. But why the hell does fresh laid tar smell like sesame snaps? Oh, what a world.

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Beer #511 of 3,652

Kasteel Rouge

Kasteel Rouge
Type of beer: Fruit Ale
Container Type: 330 mL bottleE
Alcohol by volume: 8.00%
Country of origin: Belgium
Rating: 39% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Drank From: Glass
website: http://www.vanhonsebrouck.be/
Best for: Krieking one out
Ratings:
Taste: 9/20
Flavour: 10/20
Buy again: 5/20
Aroma: 5/10
Satisfaction: 6/10
Complexity: 2/10
Intangible: 2/10

Handwritten notes: I don't know if I'm being a snobbish dick, or, conversely, a dickish snob, but European fruit beers taste better. This one is simply cherries galore. The taste of cherry satisfies me because when I was a little kid and me and my little brother went to the doctor they would give us a sucker when we were done. Since he was "smaller" he always got to pick one first. He always took the last red one (cherry). I got what was left... let's see... yellow, green, orange... these... they... they're all fucking citrus!! This jealousy brought me to beat my brother mercilessly for many, many years. But, no, we had fun.

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Beer #510 of 3,652

Orval Trappist Ale

Orval Trappist Ale
Type of beer: Belgian Pale Ale
Container Type: 330 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 6.90%
Country of origin: Belgium
Rating: 86% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $5.50
Tasted on: 7/18/10
Colours of label: Purple/Gold/White
Drank From: Affligem glass
Label Reads: “Authentic Trappist product.”
website: www.orval.be
Best for: Sweating out the evil
Ratings:
Taste: 17/20
Flavour: 16/20
Buy again: 18/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 9/10
Complexity: 8/10
Intangible: 10/10

Handwritten notes: There's something just... right in this beer. Something homey and welcoming, like the smell of a cellar full of childhood memories. It tastes real. The taste is sweetly sour, with a complex sort of spiciness that lets you know it's genuine Belgian. If any Trappist monks are reading this right now, God bless you. Please say w'sup to Jesus. This beer is a truly religious experience, and I wonder if its yumminess is some fiendish joke, some sort of "Brewmeister Smith"-esque plan to conquer the world. I can't believe it has taken this long for this beer to find its way home to my gullet. Hallelujah!

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Beer #431 of 3,652

Affligem Tripel

Affligem Tripel
Type of beer: Tripel
Container Type: 330 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 9.50%
Country of origin: Belgium
Rating: 75% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $2.50
Tasted on: 11/19/09
Colours of label: Red/Green/Gold

Drank From: Affligem Glass
Label Reads: "Affligem Abbey ale is being brewed in Belgium according to an old method since 1074. The king of the Abbey Beers. It is amber-gold and pours with a deep head and original aroma, delivering a complex, full-bodied flavour. Pure enjoyment!"
website: www.affligembeer.be/
Best for: Warning Track Power! (Hitting a triple).
Ratings:
Taste: 15/20
Flavour: 14/20
Buy again: 13/20
Aroma: 7/10
Satisfaction: 10/10
Complexity: 8/10
Intangible: 8/10
Handwritten notes: Woo-ha, this bugger delivers a left-hook to your addled brain. A doughy and fruity tripel worthy of nobility. It's interesting to note the deepening complexity of these Affligem beers as the ABV notches upwards. A warming fizziness descends upon the cranium and the flavours linger on the palate with a clovey-spiciness. Chaka Khan!
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Beer #372 of 3,652

Affligem Blond

Affligem Blond
Type of beer: Pale Ale
Container Type: 330 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 6.8%
Country of origin: Belgium
Rating: 78% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $2.50
Tasted on: 11/14/09
Colours of label: Gold/Red/White
Drank From: Affligem Glass

Label Reads: "Affligenm Abbey ale is being brewed in Belgium according to an old method since 1074. A smooth-bodied, golden abbey beer with a light, hoppy character and a surprisingly clean finish."
website: www.affligembeer.be/
Best for: waffling
Ratings:
Taste: 15/20
Flavour: 15/20
Buy again: 16/20
Aroma: 7/10
Satisfaction: 9/10
Complexity: 8/10
Intangible: 8/10
Handwritten notes: This Belgian offering is a crab-appley sour punch with a heavy malt finish. I don't know about you guys, but when I was a kid we had crab-apple fights, whipping these little crab apples at each other with reckless abandon. These innocent contests would invariably end in the big kids pummeling the little kids with their fists rather than with produce. I was a little kid with a wicked throwing arm. Even so, that analogy is apt. The beer starts with a sour smack, and then, when you get tired of that, the malt beats the crap out of you. Ahhh, memories.
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Beer #367 of 3,652

Affligem Dubbel

Affligem Dubbel
Type of beer: Dubbel
Container Type: 330 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 6.8%
Country of origin: Belgium
Rating: 78% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $2.50
Tasted on: 11/13/09
Colours of label: Red/Gold/White
Drank From: Affligem Glass
Label Reads: "A reddish-brown abbey ale brewed with dark malts. The secondary fermentation gives a fruity aroma and a unique spicy character wit ha distinctive aftertaste."
website: www.affligembeer.be/
Best for: being classy as fuck
Ratings:
Taste: 15/20
Flavour: 16/20
Buy again: 14/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 9/10
Complexity: 8/10
Intangible: 8/10
Handwritten notes: Every self-respecting sot knows that Belgium is the Mecca towards which we all face while saying our beer-prayers. Here we go again. The first sensation is a light, chocolaty taste, like a chocolate soda or a Coke float. The secondary tastes are those of dried fruit and spices. This is the perfect accompaniment to a brisk autumn evening. Hallalujah!
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Beer #366 of 3,652

Chimay

Chimay
Type of beer: Strong Ale
Container Type: 330 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 8.0%
Country of origin: Belgium
Rating: 81% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $6.00
Tasted on: 9/2/09
Colours of label: Yellow/Black/White
Drank From: Glass

Label Reads: "Ale brewed at Scourmont Abbey", "The logo 'Trappist' certifies that this ale was brewed within the walls of an existing Trappist monastery under the control of the Trappist community. A major part of the sales revenue is used by the monks to support charitable works . The flavour of Chimay Triple comes from the aromas of fresh hops and yeast. It is best drunk at a temperature of 6º C to 8º C."

website: www.chimay.be
Best for: slipping up
Ratings:
Taste: 16/20
Flavour: 17/20
Buy again: 14/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 9/10
Complexity: 8/10
Intangible: 9/10

Handwritten notes: Much like me in November, this beer is best drunk at a temperature of 6º C to 8º C. This beer is very Duvel-like in the liveliness of its head and the inviting "grandma's kitchen" smell it emits. The taste intriguing and cookie-like, finishing with a hint of Vanilla. The best part of this beer is the lovely bite of alcohol it injects at the end like a nurse who says "hey--look over there!!" then jabs you with a tetanus shot. It's for the best, though. I'll take my medicine like a good boy and go to bed.

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Beer #293 of 3,652

Glutaner

Glutaner
Type of Beer: Pilsner
Container Type: 330 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 5.2%
Country of origin: Belgium
Rating: 9% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $4.65
Tasted on: 9/15/09
Colours of label: Yellow/White/Red

Drank From: Glass
Label Reads: "Traditionally brewed from gluten free ingredients", "Sorghum based premium pilsener".

website: n/a
Best for: squandering your inheritance
Ratings:
Taste: 2/20
Flavour: 1/20
Buy again: 0/20
Aroma: 1/10
Satisfaction: 2/10
Complexity: 2/10

Intangible: 1/10
Handwritten notes: If I had Celiac disease and had to drink this horrible crap I'd just as soon slit my throat. Picture, if you will, licking the blades of a dusty old fan that has been running non-stop all summer. You see how it tastes like old cat hair, skin flakes, dried snot, and stale bacon grease? Guess what, fellah, you just tasted Glutaner. KEEP AWAY.

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Beer #289 of 3,652

Green's Discovery

Green's Discovery All Natural Amber Ale
Type of beer: Ale
Container Type: 500 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 6.0%
Country of origin: Belgium
Rating: 0% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $5.99
Tasted on: 8/26/09
Colours of label: Green/Orange/White
Drank From: Mug

Label Reads: "Green's Ales are brewed and bottled by DeProef Browerij, Lochristi, Gent, Belgium. Green's Ales DO NOT contain any of the following: Wheat and/or Barley, Crustaceans, Eggs, Fish, Peanuts, Soya beans, Milk, Lactose, Nuts, Celery, Mustard, Sesame Seeds, Sulphur Dioxide, and sulfites".

website: www.glutenfreebeers.co.uk

Best for: if you are out of ipecac, rotten eggs, and if all of your fingers have been severed and you really need to puke.

Ratings:
Taste: 0/20
Flavour: 0/20
Buy again: 0/20
Aroma: 0/10
Satisfaction: 0/10
Complexity: 0/10
Intangible: 0/10

Handwritten notes: This is singularly the worst piece of shit I've ever had. I took one sip, checked the expiry date (expires 2010) then dumped the crap down the drain. WHAT THE FUCK? It smelled like the time I tried to make home-made apple beer out of old crab apples and yeast. It tasted like stomach acid. I was convinced that it was spoiled, until I read: this review, and this review, and read the beer advocate page. FUCK YOU GREEN DISCOVERY. Take my 6 bucks and shove it up your ass. Next time put a whole mess of celery and crustaceans in my beer if you know what's good for you. GOD!

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Beer #287 of 3,652

Malonne Blonde

Malonne Blonde
Type of beer: Pale Ale
Container Type: 330 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 6.3%
Country of origin: Belgium
Rating: 78% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $4.50
Tasted on: 7/10/09
Colours of label: Yellow/Blue
Drank From: Glass
Label Reads: "Strong ale blonde", "Belgish Beer".
website: n/a
Best for: Watching "Cheers"
Ratings:
Taste: 15/20
Flavour: 16/20
Buy Again: 15/20
Aroma: 5/10
Satisfaction: 9/10
Complexity: 9/10
Intangible: 9/10

Handwritten notes: The smell of this beer is uninspiring. However, the taste is an outstanding clovey and fruity taste that does a tap-dance on your taste buds. While there are clear spice and fruit flavours present, I am happy to report that there is no sugary backbone on this beer. A unique beer, for a pale ale.

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Beer #266 of 3,652

Stella Artois Light

Stella Artois Light
Type of beer: Lager
Container Type: 330 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 4.0%
Country of origin: Belgium
Rating: 75% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 13
Cost: $1.90
Tasted on: 8/2/09
Colours of label: White/Red/Silver
Drank From: Glass

Label Reads: "Premium Light beer", "Stella Atrois Leere, a premium light beer of exceptional quality. Brewed in Belgium in the same noble tradition as Stella Artois".
website: www.stellaartois.com/

Best for: Studying the 9 step pour
Ratings:
Taste: 16/20
Flavour: 14/20
Buy again: 17/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 6/10
Complexity: 6/10
Intangible: 8/10
Handwritten notes: The thing about Stella light is that it is perhaps the only beer I like better as a “light”. I’m still kind of brain-boggled over the concept of light beer, but in this case the lighter flavours of Stella play better in a pool with less chlorine. There is a conflicted little man in my head that wants to slam Stella because of its popularity. But this ain’t no Bud Light popularity. The people who buy this beer generally live in gated communities and wear golf shirts even when they’re not golfing. Still, I have to be true to myself and give this beer a good mark. Looking back, I gave Stella a huge rating. I was young and innocent when I reviewed it, though, and the past 5 months have been life changing.
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Beer #260 of 3,652

Früli

Früli
Type of beer: White Beer
Container Type: 250 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 4.1%
Country of origin: Belgium
Rating: 52% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $3.65
Tasted on: 7/26/09
Colours of label: White/Red/Gold
Drank From: Tulip Glass

Label Reads: "Strawberry Beer", ""Premium Belgian White Fruit Beer", "High quality Belgian white beer brewed with pure fruit juice."

website: www.fruli.com
Best for: If you are pregnant or nursing
Ratings:
Taste: 10/20
Flavour: 9/20
Buy again: 11/20
Aroma: 7/10
Satisfaction: 4/10
Complexity: 4/10
Intangible: 7/10

Handwritten notes: One time some anonymous commenter on this blog didn't like the way I dealt with Leinenkugel's Berry Weiss. He or she (or it) went so far as to call me me a dumba**. First of all, fuck that. Second of all, I'm not a fan of fruit beers. This tastes like very good fruit juice. But I don't drink fruit juice. I don't even much like fruit. I'm not much for political ideologies either, but I tell you this: I could care less if you are a transvestite, if you are a member of the "Mad About You" fan club, or if you pour Leinie Berry all over your spouse's genitals to become aroused. Good for you and "good on ya" for doing so, if it makes you happy. To each his or her own. I do not like fruit beers.

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Beer #241 of 3,652

De Koninck

De Koninck
Type of beer: Pale Ale
Container Type: 330 mL bottle
Alcohol by volume: 5.0%
Country of origin: Belgium
Rating: 88%% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $3.00
Tasted on: 6/22/09
Colours of label: Red/Green/White
Drank From: Margarita glass (I did my best, folks)
Label Reads:"Belgisch Beer"
website: www.dekoninck.be
Best for: star-gazing
Ratings:
Taste: 17/20
Flavour: 18/20
Buy again: 17/20
Aroma: 10/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 9/10
Intangible: 9/10

Handwritten notes: Zip-a-dee-doo-dah. One of the most original tasting beers I've had in a dog's age. The smell is light and grassy, with woody caramel tones poking through. The taste is sharp caramel and fruity cloves, or some other spice. Perfect takeoff and flawless landing. I wonder if people living in Belgium drink Labatt's Blue and dream of living in Canada.

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Beer #197 of 3,652

Pauwel Kwak

Pauwel Kwak

Type of beer: Amber

Container Type: 330 mL bottle

Alcohol by volume: 8.4%

Country of origin: Belgium

Rating: 71% (see below)

Number of times I've had this beer: 1st

Cost: $4.30

Tasted on: 6/10/09

Colours of label: Gold/Maroon/Yellow

Drank From: I couldn't find one of those f-ed up glasses that looks like a beaker so I used this tulip glass.

Label Reads: "Family brewery since 1791", " A unique Belgian specialty".

website: www.bestbelgianspecialbeers.be/

Best for: garage sale-ing

Ratings:

Taste: 13/20

Flavour: 14/20

Buy again: 12/20

Aroma: 8/10

Satisfaction: 9/10

Complexity: 8/10

Intangible: 7/10

Handwritten notes: Belgium can do no wrong, in my books. This is exactly what you would expect from a strong Belgian beer, powerful aroma and punch in the mouth taste. Dried fruit and candy. A caramel malt explosion. Not like Music Explosion... though this beer does have "A Little Bit of Soul". You see, when I make jokes that only I understand, it makes me feel smart and important.

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Beer #191 of 3,652

Echt Kriekenbier

Echt Kriekenbier
Type of beer: Cherry Ale
Container Type: 330 mL bottle
Alcohol volume: 6.8%
Country of origin: Belgium
Rating: 74% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $3.90
Tasted on: 5/7/09
Colours of label: Black/Red/Gold
Drank From: glass

Label Reads: "Echt Kriekenbier is a West Flemish red-brown ale matured in an oak cask, with added 150g/L of whole cherries to create this refreshing cherry ale."

website: none
Best for: giving to your old lady when she's out of vodka and mix.
Ratings:
Taste: 15/20
Flavour: 15/20
Buy again: 14/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 6/10
Intangible: 8/10

Handwritten notes: speaking of not beer (see below)... a very strong alcohol smell, but absolutely no taste of alcohol... its sourness belies its strength... a dried fruit smell, like a herbal tea... wow! a very sour, kind of nice, subdued but real fruit taste... very fizzy, but not quite beer. But I like it, yes I do.

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Beer #128 of 3,652

Gulden Draak

Gulden Draak
Type of beer: Ale
Container Type: 330 mL bottle
Alcohol volume: 10.5%
Country of origin: Belgium
Rating: 77% (see below)
Number of times I've had this beer: 1st
Cost: $4.60
Tasted on: 5/4/09
Colours of label: Black/Gold/Red
Drank From: Proper glass
Label Reads: "Extra Strong Beer"
website: n/a

Best for: late at night on a Sunday, while praying you won't get hung over.

Ratings:
Taste: 14/20
Flavour: 16/20
Buy again: 14/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 8/10
Complexity: 8/10
Intangible: 9/10

Handwritten notes: Zowie!... liqueur like warming feeling... a lively head.... tastes like the wood it was stored in (in a good way)... dried fruitcake... maybe the best strong beer so far... zakko!!!.... this stuff can be described in one word: 'bastardly'... Good-night! (Note after the fact: is it odd that I used the words "wood", "head", and "fruitcake" in the same review? I'm going to be giving the wrong impression to randy google-searchers).

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Beer #124 of 3,652

Delirium Tremens

Delirium Tremens
Type: Strong Ale
Container Type: 330 mL bottle
Alcohol volume: 8.7%
Country of origin: Belgium
Rating: 85% (see below)
Number of times I've had this type: 1st
Cost: $4.20
Tasted on: 4/20/09
Colours of label: Light Blue and other groovy colours
Drank From: bulby glass
Label Reads: "Extra Strong Beer".
website: www.delirium.be/
Best for: midnight canoe rides
Ratings:
Taste: 17/20
Flavour: 18/20
Buy again: 15/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 9/10
Complexity: 10/10
Intangible: 8/10

Handwritten notes: Ah, one review a day, that is ultimately healthier I think... and what an appropriately named beer, after 102 different beers in a month... a cloudy/silty beer with a foamy head that soaks up the silt and makes the feel in the mouth a bit gritty... a sour sort of heffe-like taste, well played flavours... light and citrussy... were it not for the punch of alcohol at the end, it would be hard to tell the strength... brilliant wheat, malt, hop flavours played to near perfection... I was expecting Duvel to taste like this... damn you, Belgium and your awesome beers, save some for the rest of us! So complex it's almost stupid. And the label is a trip! Alligators walking downhill, pink elephants, and what looks like dragons balancing on the sun. Groovy. (sorry for the blurry picture, I'll try and do better next time).

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Beer #105 of 3,652

Trappistes Rochefort #10

Trappistes Rochefort #10
Type: Trappist Ale
Container Type: 330 mL bottle
Alcohol volume: 11.3%
Country of origin: Belgium
Rating: 81% (see below)
Number of times I've had this type: 1st
Cost: $5.90
Tasted on: 4/17/09
Colours of label: Tan/Black/Blue
Drank From: bulbous glass
Label Reads: "Authentic Trappist product."
website: n/a
Best for: Cool spring nights
Ratings:
Taste: 17/20
Flavour: 18/20
Buy again: 10/20
Aroma: 9/10
Satisfaction: 10/10
Complexity: 10/10
Intangible: 7/10

Handwritten notes: smells rural and fresh... strong alcohol content but no accompanying sickly-sweetness... complex and powerful, like dried fruit, woodsy, piney, nutty... yowza this is kicking my ass... a wine like warmness... beautiful.

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Beer #92 of 3,652

St. Louis Gueuze Lambic

St. Louis Gueuze Lambic
Type: Lambic
Container Type: 375 mL bottle
Alcohol volume: 4.5%
Country of origin: Belgium
Rating: 83% (see below)
Number of times I've had this type: 1st
Cost: $4.90
Tasted on: 4/16/09
Colours of label: Yellow/Green/Black
Drank From: glass
Label Reads: "Spontaneously fermented beer with sugar and sweetener"
website: n/a
Best for: plain, boring days
Ratings:
Taste: 17/20
Flavour: 18/20
Buy again: 12/20
Aroma: 8/10
Satisfaction: 9/10
Complexity: 10/10
Intangible: 9/10
Handwritten notes: OH MY GOD. My first real lambic, and I feel like a kid on Christmas morning.... what an experience... save your pennies, kids, and try this... but BEFORE YOU DO, read about lambic beer and how it has been/is made. It will heighten the experience... like a universe of flavours - orange, nutmeg, Cinnamon, pineapple, woody, allspice... and the next sip reveals another fucking layer! I feel like I know what a lambic is all about now.
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Beer #87 of 3,652