Olde English "800"

**Parental Advisory - Explicit Review**
Olde English "800"

Type of beer: Malt Liquor

Container Type: 40 oz (1180 mL) bottle

Alcohol by volume: 8.0%

Country of origin: United States

Rating: 10% (see below)

Number of times I've had this beer: 2

Cost: $5.90

Tasted on: 7/24/09

Colours of label: Gold/Maroon

Drank From: Straight out the 8-bottle. Do I look like a mutha-fuckin' role model?

Label Reads: "Malt Liquor"

website: n/a

Best for: smokin' motha-fuckas like it ain't no thang.

Ratings:

Taste: 1/20

Flavour: 0/20

Buy again: 2/20

Aroma: 0/10

Satisfaction: 5/10

Complexity: 0/10

Intangible: 2/10

Handwritten notes: This tastes like if you drank apple juice from a public bathroom urinal. This beer makes me want to spit. I'm not really one of those dudes who walks down the street just spitting for the fuck of it. But this beer gets in your mouth something fierce. I got this 40 in Kenora, Ontario. They stopped selling it in Manitoba for what I can only imagine are safety reasons. Folks, I can say that I haven't been hung over since the Christmas holidays of 2007. But the frickin' 8-ball got me bustin' phat freestyles: "don't drink brass monkey... like to be funky... nickname McTiggs, yo, 8-ball junkie. Old Bard'll get stupid when I'm full of the 8-ball... I might stumble, but still won't lose... now I'm dressed in the county blues. OLD BARD'S FUCKED UP AND GOT THE 8-BALL ROLLIN'."

I took this one for the team. Mark my words: Never again. Lest I forget.

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Beer #231 of 3,652